Monthly Archives: April 2014

Why I Failed Art Class

The sun shines yellow
Through the fluffy white clouds
That linger in a sky so blue.

I think it would
Be simpler if
It was all just green, don’t you?

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Variance of Expressions

A groan is fitting for a bad joke,
A sidelong glance for annoyances,
A yell or shout for problems grand,
A balloon pop for failed buoyances.

To the variety sure is great, y’all,
But I prefer it when one’s sighs fits all.

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After College

I am an exotic dancer,
And yes, I am a man.
I make money at bachelorette parties
And drive an army cargo van.

Chicks like a man in uniform
So when I see the bachelorette cutie
I give a salute and slap my patoot
And say “Major Turnon, reporting for booty.”

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Post-Alcohol Observations

This isn’t common, but it’s not just me
Who takes joy in sobriety,
For when the laughter is all done
I want to remember how I had fun,

And in life’s most joyous times
Like reading books and writing rhymes
A fluid ounce of honesty
Will always beat a pint in me.

For what is it we must obscure
To resort to boozing as our cure?
Fear of being seen as us?
Why should such things cause a fuss?

So give up fear and give up lies
(It’s easier than you might surmise)
And live a life, joyful, true.
Live a life with sober you.

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Little Kraken Declares His Love

I hunted for the Red October
But only found the blue.
I know it ‘s only second best,
But I brought it here for you.

I left it on your doorstep
‘Cause it seemed a reasonable spot.
Too bad your boat was so tiny,
But hey, you can buy another yacht.

I just want to see you smile
And hug you with all eight arms.
I’ll try to be oh-so-gentle,
But sometime I do harms.

I love you sailor, yes I do.
Can’t you love this kraken too?

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Poetry for Dummies

A description of a setting
The lonely artist loves.
Introduce the poem’s subject
Rhyming with the line aboves.
Introduce a conflict,
But done with exquisite taste,
Then end it with a poignant line
And highlight, copy, paste.

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Just a Thot

I sigh at silent letters,
‘Cause they seem unnecessary,
Though I imagine it’s even more rough
If your name is Ptolemy.

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