Look at me,
Your darling man,
And tell me what you see.
Are bulging arms
And washboard abs
All there is to me?
Is my gleaming hair
In the setting sun
What makes your heart seek mine?
Is it how I flee
When your husband gets home
At 8:00 instead of 9:00?
“What’s your favorite body part?”
The online survey said.
I wrote “chest hair.” I’m a guy,
And thus my empty bed.
On the morning of the third day
Since Jesus died for our sins
He said “I waiteth to push the boulder
“Until the afternoon begins.”
They make blueberry, strawberry,
But not jam out of chicken,
Why do we make paste
Out of fruits and such
But not dead animals?
They say I’ve a nose like a bloodhound,
Eyes of an eagle, ears of an elf.
That’s a polite way for people to say
I suck at hide-and-seek when I play by myself.