Monthly Archives: December 2019

Italy Is Weird

Most people think that XXX

Means that a movie’s dirty,

But there’s a Roman guy somewhere

Who thinks the movie’s 30.

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Social Justice’s New Mission

Imagine there’s a world where aliens

Use human to wash dishes after a meal

And now you have a better sense

Of how sponges probably feel.

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Social Justice’s New Mission

Imagine there’s a world where aliens

Use human to wash dishes after a meal

And now you have a better sense

Of how sponges probably feel.

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Filed under Poems

Butt Weight… There’s More

I like girls who are polite

And women who are modest.

I like girls with joie de vivre

Although they’re not the hottest.

I like girls who demonstrate

A sense of generosity

Yet girls I meet prefer to flaunt

Their callipygiosity.

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The Fourteenth and Fifteenth Words Prove I’m Lying

Someone approached my wife and asked her

“Is your man a good multitasker?”

My wife said, “No, he’s really bad.”

I stopped listening then so I could get mad.

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Difficulties In Treating Dyslexia

If you need to do brain surgery

Make sure someone sees ya

‘Cause otherwise you might mix up

Euthanasia and anesthesia.

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Post-Holiday Pleasures

What’s most nearly opposite

To gently falling rain,

Your lover’s gentle heartbeat,

And comfort of the brain?

The answer starts with “Someone”

And ends with “Else’s baby on a plane.”

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