Monthly Archives: March 2020

Individuality, But At What Caust?

A black guy names his kid J’Kwon

And no one bats an eye.

In Florida kids are named X-wing

And no one asks them why.

I choose a name like this

For the son I fathered

But when I say “My son, Z’Kyle”

The jews get hot and bothered…

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Polar Bear Illiteracy Kills

A polar bear showed up today

Covered in blood, he smiled: “Hey!”

Think of why. What’s that? You can’t, huh?

Maybe it was ’cause I mentioned “Mall Santa…”

This poem was intended for December, but apparently you can’t schedule a post that far in advance. Just don’t read this for 270 days, ok?

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Be Like The Index Toe

If you don’t eat roast beef

You’ll do all right.

If you have none

There’s no need to fight.

If you go to market

You’re fine by me

But it’s best to stay home

And go “wee wee wee wee.”

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How To Do A Day’s Work In 60 Seconds Or Less

If anyone ever says

“Speed matters more than quality”

Show ’em this poem

‘Cause that’ll show ’em!

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‘Twas the Best Of Times…

I studied some Spanish

And read a good book,

I exercised daily

And learned how to cook,

I got six pack abs

And I learned how to dance.

But I just can’t recall

What it’s like to wear pants…

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The Purpose of a Bird

What is the purpose of a bird?

To fly? To eat? To breed?

Is its life a thing of choice

Or else of merely need?

If its purpose is to fly

But, hatching from its shell

Is born without the wings to fly

Can life be ever well?

If its purpose is to eat

But lacking seed or prey

Can the bird starve nobly

As nature has its way?

If its purpose is to breed

But has no living mate

Is the bird worthwhile still

Despite its desperate fate?

And what of birds within their egg

Afraid to face the light

For fear of life without a mate

Or lack of food or flight,

Who lay inside their egg, so warm,

Who never hurt or cry?

Are they blessed who never live

For they shall never die?

What is the purpose of a bird

Who cannot do a thing?

To live in stillness silently

Or else, perhaps, to sing.

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The Chosen Pun

We’re locked in our houses

Away from the world,

Sanitizing ourselves

As our lives come unfurled.

As we wipe down possessions

The thing I don’t get

Is why “Spring Cleaning” jokes

Aren’t popular yet.

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