The Crew Cut

The crew cut is a true cut

And a proper “do” for men.

I’ve been known to sport one

Every now and then.

It’s classic and low-maintenance,

Both manly and refined.

Yes, the crew cut is a true cut

But no one pays it much mind.

 

The crew cut is a true cut

Because long hair is a pain.

What woman wants a guy

Whose hair can clog the drain?

It lends style to a balding head,

It’s tough as well as cute.

Yes, the crew cut is a true cut,

But people prefer to be hirsute.

 

The crew cut is a true cut,

Or so you’ve probably heard.

It gives you social status

Equivalent to a flightless bird*.

I rock one as I write this,

‘Cause I’ve got nothing better to do.

The crew cut is a true cut,

But who calls layoffs “cutting crew?”

 

*If you don’t know about the flightless bird trend sweeping the nation like the ice bucket challenge**:

 https://thedailytravesty.com/2014/08/20/i-try-to-be-social/

 

** If you don’t know about the ice bucket challenge, I envy your resistance to the internet’s pull.

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