The crew cut is a true cut
And a proper “do” for men.
I’ve been known to sport one
Every now and then.
It’s classic and low-maintenance,
Both manly and refined.
Yes, the crew cut is a true cut
But no one pays it much mind.
The crew cut is a true cut
Because long hair is a pain.
What woman wants a guy
Whose hair can clog the drain?
It lends style to a balding head,
It’s tough as well as cute.
Yes, the crew cut is a true cut,
But people prefer to be hirsute.
The crew cut is a true cut,
Or so you’ve probably heard.
It gives you social status
Equivalent to a flightless bird*.
I rock one as I write this,
‘Cause I’ve got nothing better to do.
The crew cut is a true cut,
But who calls layoffs “cutting crew?”
*If you don’t know about the flightless bird trend sweeping the nation like the ice bucket challenge**:
https://thedailytravesty.com/2014/08/20/i-try-to-be-social/
** If you don’t know about the ice bucket challenge, I envy your resistance to the internet’s pull.