I wanted to take a moment
To tell you I adore
The way you walk, the way you talk,
The way you smile. What’s more
I wanted to appreciate
How kind you are to me.
Like rain in Spring, new life you bring
To everyone you see!
You’re honest, humble, gentle, strong,
As well as smart and brave.
You’re a man no woman can
Deny she’s always craved.
I think you’re the pinnacle
Of manliness. So there!
But I can’t go to see that show
‘Cause I have to wash my hair.
Sometime in the distant past
Somebody’s wife I suppose
Decided to hang a bunch of pipes
So whenever the wind blows
It makes the sound of a little kid
Assaulting a glockenspiel
And she sold these things for thirty bucks
And I don’t know how I feel…*
*That’s a lie. I love them. They are wonderful.
I was in the white house and I was like “Hey
“Let’s inject everybody with some MRNA.”
And the people who know science was all up like “Nah”
But the uneducated populace was like “Vax up brah.”
I know you MAGA people be on Instagram hatin’
On how my administration is fixated on mandatin’
Figurin’ it isn’t shots but God who gives you redemption,
But my bureaucrats denyin’ your religious exemption!
Any time I write a poem with a lotta letters
I get a temptation that of me can get the better:
You may have to read twice or the joke you will not get her…
Conforming is courage.
Sameness is unique.
Silence is violence
So we all must speak,
But if you speak other
Than what we agree
The only conclusion
Except for the whites
And all men, plus women
Who want to have rights.
Such people are dangers
To our peaceful views
Unless they are silenced
By endless bad news.
“The truth” is old-fashioned.
“Your truth” will prevail.
If there are no winners
Then no one can fail!
So dye your hair purple
And get your tattoos
And be one of us rebels
Who share the same views.
Whether we walk by the mountains or sea
We consider ourselves on the ground,
But the birds and the fish far below disagree
And render the notion unsound.
The birds up above sing to each other
Of how humans choose not to fly,
Enjoying the feeling that comes from remaining
Always at the bottom of “sky.”
The fish and the whales and coral and seals
Think of our waterless place
As one way a heaven, in other ways hell,
Just as we humans must think of space.
We are at the apex, we are at the bottom,
All trapped by the pull of a star.
To some we are Gods, to others we’re vermin
And I’m just content that we are.
When was the last time a stranger
Whispered something in your ear,
Whether something that was naughty
Or perhaps a secret fear,
Saying something so important
That they risked becoming near
To share with you a datum
Only you were fit to hear?
If you’ve never given quiet
I think you ought to try it.
Roses are red.
Biden is tired.
The guy who holds his “applause” sign
Apparently got fired.
When I was five years old I thought
That I was pretty strong
Until I tried to lift my dad
And found out I was wrong.
When I was fifteen I figured
That I was pretty suave
Until I learned that suave’s a word
That doesn’t rhyme with “shave.”
When I was twenty five I thought
That I was pretty smart
Until I turned my car key
And the engine didn’t start.
And I suspect at thirty five
And forty five and older
The things I saw in my mind’s eye
I’ll see as a beholder.
I just hope at ninety
Or whenever death will dial
I’ll remember all the times I erred
Then look ahead and smile.