I have been informed
“Tree Hunger Games are not real”
By the Tree-I-A
One Will Be Chosen…
In the world of trees
Is Christmas the Hunger Games?
Asking for a friend…
Filed under Poems
A Truth As Old As Time
Playing notes quickly
Does not make you musical…
But is does get views
When People Ask Why I Keep Writing
One day, organized crime
Will decide that now is the time
To launder some money
Through low art that is funny
And also just happens to rhyme.
Filed under Poems
When You Try REAALLY Hard To Make The Punchline Work
Superman came flying down
And handed me an Out.
He said, “I’ll be back before tomorrow”
But I had considerable doubt,
So I struck Superman with my knee
And I’m feeling perfectly right;
I kneed a hero
I’m holding Out for a hero ’til the end of the night.
Filed under Poems
Why Is Jaws A Franchise?
So the shark attacked
And killed lots of people who
Went back three more times?
Filed under Poems
Life = Short
Everything is fatal
If you do it long enough.
That’s why I sit on the couch
And write poems and stuff.
Filed under Poems
D&D Players Know This Well
There once was a wizard of fire
Who was wont to displays of great ire
That involved fireballs
Amidst narrow walls
And this made his companions retire
Filed under Poems
Thanks, Darling!
My wife’s boobs are great.
She won’t tell me what to write;
I default to this
Filed under Poems
Evergreen
Evergreen tree beside the river
Where I swim when the Summer sun is high
Casting shadows o’er the picnic table
Filled with blessings just for her and I.
Evergreen tree upon the hilltop
While the red and golden leaves around you fall
Knowing snow will soon be heavy on your needles
Knowing heedless you’ll still be standing tall.
Evergreen tree in wildflowers
When sun returns to us in Spring
Dancing like a wisened older neighbor
To the song that little river starts to sing.
Evergreen tree sawed down for lumber
Not an end befitting of your glory
Until you become a bit of wall or table
A foundation of someone else’s story.
Will you watch that someone else throughout the seasons
And protect them from both the heat and chill
Like you watched the start of her and my united heart
Back when you were the guardian of that hill?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 