My wife made a dish today
With blackberries and stuff.
She put in lots of butter and sugar
And if that were not enough
She popped in some spices
And topped it with oats
And measured absolutely nothing
And said “Is that good? Totes!“
Turns out when tou stick things
That taste food together
And bake them a while
And don’t even measure
It ends up delicious
And super-dupes yummy
And now it’s all gone
And expanded my tummy.
Filed under Poems
When in doubt
Just sound it out
(Unless your words
Are “when” or “doubt”)
Filed under Poems
One day when I was falling asleep
I watched a video of some guys
Pressing a button to time themselves
Without using their eyes
And now my entire video feed
Is infested with “buzzing pros”
And YouTube disabled any way
Of never again seeing those…
Filed under Poems
There were horse legions;
Now they are a metaphor
For far-as-heck stuff.
Filed under Poems
They swung their nunchakus
We dropped two nuclear bombs
Now they make cartoons
Filed under Poems
If you have a form of ‘tism
It may be a blessing or flaw
Depending on whether its “nepo”
Or more on the spectrum of “au”.
Filed under Poems
Kitties say I love you
And sleep next to your face,
Doggos think you’re perfect
And guard your personal space,
Fish will poop and swim around
But don’t generally intrude,
And yet you bought a porcupine…
What is your problem, dude?
Filed under Poems
“What” is what you say
When what’s said’s said in a way
Where the said and heard are separate
But you’d like to have your say,
But if you say “what” too often
And you know what’s what, you’ll say
Not “what”, for what more can you say,
But instead you’ll say “okay.”
Filed under Poems
Everything is food to something
And food is a wonderful gift
So don’t think too much about presents
And embrace your omnivorous thrift.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 