As they flip the sign
“Ninety days since last event”
To zero, I grin…
Octopus Vs. OctoMeDaddy69
Tentacles are snazzy
And tentacles are fun
But if someone on the internet agrees
I’m gonna get my gun
Filed under Poems
Seriously… What Was That?
There once was a Super Bowl team
Who were stronger than they might seem.
They weren’t feeling like kneeling
Or seal-the-dealing
And now San Fran is living the dream.
Filed under Poems
Waking Up Unconscious
If you wake up unconscious
And find yourself asleep
Just close your eyes and wake again
And sink into the deep
Until the morning moon above
Makes nightingales howl
To lull you back to wakefulness
Aside the noontime owl.
Then your dreams and memories
Merge into one sensation
And your subconscious thoughts
Will guide you to your destination.
But if you wake up conscious
Go give your parents hugs
And thank them for advising you
To just say “no” to drugs.
Filed under Poems
Speaking Of Engagement…
If you don’t exist
Post a comment to confuse
Literal thinkers
Filed under Poems
Also, Engagement Feeds The Algorithm
Posting wrong opinions
On the internet is fun
Because you can cause outrage
That does not hurt anyone
Except those fragile people
To whom feeling offended
Is akin to the sensation
Of having one’s life ended
And, let’s be honest, people
Who are hurt by random posts
Are fun to laugh at secretly
And are targets of my toasts.
So I post this opinion
With the hope someone will read it
And share it with a sensitive friend
Whose feeble ego may just need it.
Filed under Poems
Music
Playing sixteenth notes
Is scary when you are ten…
Also, ninety-nine
Inner City Romance (Trigger Warning: Puns)
If you’re walking down the street
And peer into the gutter
And you see a man below
And your heart goes all aflutter
Know that you are not alone
And that he feels the same
And you can shout to him “Grate Scott!”
Because that is his name.
Filed under Poems
Slay The Spire Board Game Review
Want to play a game?
Three hours later we win.
A-plus Sunday night!
Filed under Poems
Four Types Of People In A Trenchcoat
Some people dress up like the past
And call it a renaissance fair.
Some people dress up like the future
And call it fashion week.
Some people dress up like the present
And they’re all just sort of there…
I don’t dress at all anymore
And just hope someone takes a peek.
Filed under Poems
