There were two Washington teams
Both with football victory dreams
But one took command
And threw proverbial pocket sand
And now Seattle is filled with screams
Social Change When?
Everyone agrees
Capes are cool, and yet instead
People wear neckties…
Filed under Poems
But Have The Standards Risen Or Lowered?
Remember when having a car
And kinda playing the guitar
Meant you were the top percent of men?
Ah, the world was good back then!
Filed under Poems
Name A More Iconic Pair
God gave men sticks to write on walls,
Club animals, and scratch their balls.
God gave women mouths to say
“Why won’t boys put their sticks away?”
Filed under Poems
Character Creation
What if everything’s human
But in all shapes and sizes
With different colors and textures
And numbers of eyes-es
And we are the luckies
Who were born kinda pasty,
Good at thinking and crying
But not very tasty?
Filed under Poems
What I Learned In English Class
Many a novelist worked all their lives
Studying classics and ignoring their wives
To write down a tale of legend and lore
That would outdo the authors who’ve written before.
Thousands of books line the library shelves
Depicting the foibles of demons and elves
And most of these pages (perhaps even all)
Cannot grip human minds like a big rubber ball.
A book needs attention; A ball just needs love
As you smack it with hands from below and above.
You may frown a bit when a character dies
But when the ball touches ground there are zero dry eyes.
A book has beginning and middle and end
But a ball is forever, moreso than a friend.
A book may be boring, but have ye no fear
For the fun’s never done when you play with a sphere!
So authors so erudite, hear my decree:
Stop fighting for writing. Let literature be
And trade out your quill for a beach ball (or three)
And see what an adventure “no-floor-ball” can be!
Filed under Poems
The Other Seven Days
And God made man
And of man he said:
“He shall be a good companion
“Every day until he’s dead.”
And God made woman
And of woman did proclaim
“Three out of four weeks
“She’ll be basically the same…”
Filed under Poems
Your Team Is Bad And Hard To Rhyme (Go Hawks)
Two birds fought in Arizona
And the red one was clearly a gonna
‘Cause the blue and green bird
Caught touchdown one, two, then a third
And their victory was fide-comma-bona.
Filed under Poems
Counterargument…
What if God’s a dog?
That’s why he loves everyone
And doesn’t talk much…
Filed under Poems
Egyptians Were Right All Along?
What if God’s a cat
That destroys things now and then
But mostly just naps?
Filed under Poems
