Youngest Child Genes

My Brother is wealthy,

My Sister is wise,

My Dad’s got great hair

And my Mom has great eyes.

You should see my Aunt’s heart

Or my Grandfather’s spine,

But if you like cuticles

No one can beat mine.

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Never Elect A Plant

Power corrupts

So flower power

Can cause, for some,

Hydrangea dange’a.

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Third Time’s The Charmless

A failed piece of art

Made in Microsoft paint

Faces off against the Goddess

Of political taint

With the goal of defamation

And the tool of shameless lies

And among the States there echoes

350-million “Why”s.

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Why You Should Avoid Furries

Han was fine and dandy

Until Chewbacca came along

And made the “Solo” surname

Both illogical and wrong.

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When You Use Laziness To Make Yourself Look Impressive (True Story)

Card tricks stole my mind

‘Til 11:59.

Still published today!

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Lacking Results From My C/T Scan (In A Sense)

I have a confession:

I can’t spell dietician.

Autocorrect is not helpful

And abuses its position.

If it has a “c” or “t”

For the ician/itian portion

Forces all my logic

To perform quite the contortion.

I was going to write a poem

Full of whimsy, fun, and laughter

But I lacked aforementioned spellings

That I’d long-since afore-sought after.

Thus you get this poem

Lacking good diet advice.

On the bright side dumbness inspired me

And I guess that’s pretty nice.

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There are two sides

To every tale.

One person might think

They saw a whale,

While others agree

The first guy lied

And it was just

Someone’s backside.

What’s fire to one

Is ice to the next,

Some like to call

And others text,

But one answer

Will never fail:

If your wife asks “how’s this dress”

Do not say “hey look, a whale!”

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