Roses are red,
My life is busy.
Good night, and may all
Of your sodas be fizzy.
…and the F-Beech-I
I have been informed
“Tree Hunger Games are not real”
By the Tree-I-A
Filed under Poems
One Will Be Chosen…
In the world of trees
Is Christmas the Hunger Games?
Asking for a friend…
Filed under Poems
A Truth As Old As Time
Playing notes quickly
Does not make you musical…
But is does get views
When People Ask Why I Keep Writing
One day, organized crime
Will decide that now is the time
To launder some money
Through low art that is funny
And also just happens to rhyme.
Filed under Poems
When You Try REAALLY Hard To Make The Punchline Work
Superman came flying down
And handed me an Out.
He said, “I’ll be back before tomorrow”
But I had considerable doubt,
So I struck Superman with my knee
And I’m feeling perfectly right;
I kneed a hero
I’m holding Out for a hero ’til the end of the night.
Filed under Poems
Why Is Jaws A Franchise?
So the shark attacked
And killed lots of people who
Went back three more times?
Filed under Poems
Life = Short
Everything is fatal
If you do it long enough.
That’s why I sit on the couch
And write poems and stuff.
Filed under Poems
D&D Players Know This Well
There once was a wizard of fire
Who was wont to displays of great ire
That involved fireballs
Amidst narrow walls
And this made his companions retire
Filed under Poems
Thanks, Darling!
My wife’s boobs are great.
She won’t tell me what to write;
I default to this
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 