The Career Ladder

I picked up a career ladder

To get ahead at work,

But wasn’t sure exactly what to do,

So I laid it on its side

Straddled o’er the chasm wide

Between the role of me and that of you.

With the ladder ‘cross the ridge

It became a sort of bridge,

But not one with stability in mind.

I walked across each rung,

Did my job, and held my tongue

And on the other side what did I find?

Well, I must be frank with you:

There was a very similar view

Of a gaping gap between the then and now

But I feel somewhat misled;

I’m no higher nor more ahead

And the ladder-maker won’t say why or how.

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Gyms and Churches Unite!

What if we sold folks

A place they don’t want to go

Then shamed them for it?

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Too Young For MySpace, Too Old For Empathy

When I hear the word

“Instagram” I always think

“These damn kids today…”

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One’m Really Sorry Guys…

There once was a Roman dragoon

Who got stabbed by a harpoon.

The medic said, “He

“Really needs an IV.”

The Roman said, “It’s a four, you buffoon!”

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See Also: Locusts, Floods, Lightning Strikes At Political Rallies…

A zombie apocalypse would be bad,

But if it was just a month or two

We’d probably see society improve

For the ones who made it through.

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Some Things Just Need To Stop

They say it would be terrible

To die in a fiery crash,

Your body immolated

And reduced to naught but ash.

Drowning might be worse to some

And freezing to another.

Regardless of your preference

For one death or another

We can agree that dying

Isn’t the most unlucky break;

That honor goes to living

To see another Disney live-action remake.

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Badduh Hairo, Desu Ne?

They made the very first anime

Back in 1963.

Since then it’s been a mainstay

Of international TV.

They have animes about everything

From kitties to killers, but still

No one’s made one with Japanese barbers

And I’m starting to think no one will…

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Holy Cow

People will say “Jesus Christ”

“God Damn” and “Heaven Forbid.”

Meanwhile, there’s just some bull out there

Who’s wondering what he did…

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Survival Tips

Living in the Arctic

Isn’t easy, so I’m told;

It’s devoid of food and shelter

And interminably cold.

But worse than frigid weather

Or starvation you should know

Is that even on the warmest days

The wi-fi’s always slow.

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Haik

I’ve worked really hard

To limit my wordiness.

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