Tick…tock…tick…tock…tick…
Will you cut the red wire
Or press the button?
Earth 2026: It’s In The Game
I think that God has outsourced
The world to EA Games
‘Cause every year the same stuff breaks
But just with different names,
The upgrades aren’t what we request
And some good features get lost
Yet somehow we get nothing
That explains the rising cost.
A year or so ago this thought
Would seem a funny meme
But current events might indicate
It’s truer than it seems…
A world that’s run by CEOs
That, year after year, never change?
Now I’m convinced this theory
Isn’t really all that strange.
Filed under Poems
Ooooh… Maybe Traffic’s Part Of It Too Then?
If you believe the conspiracies
They’re poisoning our water,
Experimenting with vaccines,
And making brunettes hotter.
But if you would destroy the world
(Or just keep it from thriving)
Is make us always feel the way
We do when we are driving.
Filed under Poems
Suddenly, Elon’s Kids Are Grateful
So all of the people named Siri,
And also Alexa and Claude
Have joined the ranks of Karen and Dick.
We tried to choose names that were odd
But why not name AI Muhammed,
Maria, Michael, or James?
Sure, it might cause some wrong emails
But also inspire new names!
Filed under Poems
Travel Scheduling
Airplane lands at 5:00
Off the plane at 12:03
Bag pickup at 9:00
Filed under Poems
This Year For Christmas I Want Racially Accurate Casting In Supporting Roles
I know not of the origin
Of the fateful racial feud
Between the dwarves and elves of old
Nor how such hate ensued,
But the modern dwarf/elf rivalry
Is almost certainly due
To hiring dwarves at Christmas time
To dress as Santa’s crew.
Filed under Poems
PANned By The Critic?
I drew an unflattering picture
Of my friend as a half-goat-half-man.
He didn’t understand it was satyr-ical
But I’m doing the best that I can.
Filed under Poems
When Your Economics Professor Has To Talk His Way Out Of A Shady Deal
If you sell your soul to the devil
And try to buy it back
You’ll find Beelzebub unwilling
To grant you any slack,
But if you do convince him
You’ll need to pay back more
Than whatever you decided
To originally sell it for.
This proves that souls are subject
To monetary inflation
As non-fungible timeless artifacts
With finite monetary evaluations
And thus I say a human life
Gets more valuable with age
From a monetary point of view.
Now let me out of this cage.
Filed under Poems
Epiphany
My new religious theory
Is that the “people in between“
Who deserve neither Heaven nor Hell
Go to a place in between
Where fires burn and humans
Suffer terrible humiliation
While the skies are blue and sunny
And most ignore the devastation.
After further thinking
Of where such a plane my be
There seems to be a candidate
That makes good sense to me,
Where Hell and Heaven intertwine
And fate goes either way.
I present to you my limbo:
California, USA
Filed under Poems
It All Depends On Development Time
My only doubt about World War 3
Is whether it will be fought
By actual guys with an Xbox controller
Or the guy shooting back they call “bot”.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 