Question Everything

Grassy field,

Snowy chicken,

Sandy bug spray,

Yep to the tooth helpers.

Greedy locks mispelled rent 

As goose.

This poem still makes more sense

Than the “share on twitter” link

On porn websites.

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Why Grammar Matters

A world without adjectives

Would suck

But it wouldn’t be bad

Would blow

But it wouldn’t be sad

Would eat your soul

But not in a negative way.

A world without adverbs

Things happen,

People run

Other people run

Some are faster

But we’ll never know which.

A world without verbs

Blue, stagnant, 

Highly descriptive,

Shorter than previous stanzas.

A world without nouns

Write this if you dare.

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TLI

“It happened.”

“Whoa!”

“What a thing!”

“I know.”

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TMI?

I wanted to let you know

I wrote this poem on the toilet.

I thought it best to keep it brief

In case that secret did spoil it.

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The Spectacle

Some are pointing,

Some are staring,

But not a person

Is not caring.

“Who’s that guy?”

The women question.

The men ask for

Workout suggestions.

But as I look,

Trying not to leer,

I simply ask

“Why the mirrors here?”

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Why I’d Make A Lousy Ghost

I try to be original

When compliments I make.

I try not to be boring

For the complimentee’s sake,

So purely inintentional

Was my word-choice slight.

Who knew “you’re an opaque one”

Was not thought as polite?

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Dietary Councilling

They called me an airhead,

A dumdum, a flake,

A limp blob of pudding

And, worse still, a snake.

I guess that it’s true –

One is as one eats.

I’ll back off on the reptiles,

But never the sweets.

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