One day when I was falling asleep
I watched a video of some guys
Pressing a button to time themselves
Without using their eyes
And now my entire video feed
Is infested with “buzzing pros”
And YouTube disabled any way
Of never again seeing those…
Intro To Mongolian History
There were horse legions;
Now they are a metaphor
For far-as-heck stuff.
Filed under Poems
Intro To Japanese History
They swung their nunchakus
We dropped two nuclear bombs
Now they make cartoons
Filed under Poems
But If You Order Now, You Can Get Both!
If you have a form of ‘tism
It may be a blessing or flaw
Depending on whether its “nepo”
Or more on the spectrum of “au”.
Filed under Poems
Roommates Be Like…
Kitties say I love you
And sleep next to your face,
Doggos think you’re perfect
And guard your personal space,
Fish will poop and swim around
But don’t generally intrude,
And yet you bought a porcupine…
What is your problem, dude?
Filed under Poems
Other Options Include Laughing, “Hmm”ing, Or Saying “I Couldn’t Agree More
“What” is what you say
When what’s said’s said in a way
Where the said and heard are separate
But you’d like to have your say,
But if you say “what” too often
And you know what’s what, you’ll say
Not “what”, for what more can you say,
But instead you’ll say “okay.”
Filed under Poems
Christmas/Dinner
Everything is food to something
And food is a wonderful gift
So don’t think too much about presents
And embrace your omnivorous thrift.
Filed under Poems
Effort Is Returning…
Roses are still red,
My business is finished,
And now I will sleep
For my stress is diminished.
Violets are purple,
My stanzas are two,
And I hope that you have
A most peaceful night too.
Filed under Poems
Effort Is For Those Who Sleep
Roses are red,
My life is busy.
Good night, and may all
Of your sodas be fizzy.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 