Bump. Set. Spike! Oops…

Everything is fun

‘Til the ball goes in the stands

And a nose dissolves…

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Medical Priorities

At what point do we realize,

While curing cancer would be great,

There’s another rampant problem

That a lot of people hate

And if we pooled our resources

And people who are clever

I bet in just a couple years

The hiccups would be gone forever.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Ode To My Brain After The First Day Of School

Repeat after me:

Just because the door says push

Doesn’t mean don’t pull.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Forged From A Different Mold

My head cannot comprehend sports

And my torso is lacking in muscle.

My legs do not look good in shorts

And my heart has a great dearth of hustle.

My hands and my eyes don’t play nicely

But one thing that I think is neat

Is that I have two assets precisely:

I have, not one, but two athlete’s feet!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Superhero Genre

Look! It’s a bad guy!

Let’s get punched a lot and then

Save the day again!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Unfortunately It Requires Planning And Discipline, And Doesn’t Taste Like Pumpkin Spice

Imagine if there were a coffee

That energized you twice as well

And was also completely free…

Sounds like an easy sell!

I have such a solution for you

If my secret you can keep:

My secret coffee replacement brew

Is called “eight hours of sleep”.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Ode To My Nerdy Wife

Oh Becky, dear Becky,

My beautiful wife,

Not unlike a fireball

You light up my life

By destroying the minions

Of boredom and blech,

All while making my lunches

And fixing my tech.

Some men are boastful

Of “bagging a 10”

But I think they should think

Of thinking again

For the 10’s of the world

Are numerous and plenty

Unlike you, my Becky,

My natural twenty.

I once had the gift

Of unlimited rhymes;

Now I cantrip you foot rubs

Unlimited times.

I can no longer go

Through a short or long rest

Without recalling reasons

Why you are the best.

Sometimes you don’t think so

And deny that you’re swell

To which I respond

With a swift counterspell.

Not unlike Oloro,

Whether present or not,

You made my life grow

From alone to a lot.

So thanks for forgiving

My photos so blurry,

For casting aside

Your long-distance worry,

For accepting my ring

And my oddness galore.

Now onward to love

For a few decades more!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

We’re From The Government And We’re Here To Help

There once was a system that worked

Which made administrative ears be perked

So they followed the scoop

And in they did swoop

And the system’s officially gurked.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

When In Rome (Or The Dangers Of Conformity)

I think Italians

Must have problems with their kids

Jumping off bridges

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Equity

There once was an academic class

That everyone would always pass,

So students did no work

And got A’s as a perk

And that’s why the job market’s ass.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems