We go camping and spray our bodies
With chemicals to keep mosquitoes away,
But maybe instead of repelling them, we
Should hang photos of sexy mosquitoes, ok?
The Career Ladder
I picked up a career ladder
To get ahead at work,
But wasn’t sure exactly what to do,
So I laid it on its side
Straddled o’er the chasm wide
Between the role of me and that of you.
With the ladder ‘cross the ridge
It became a sort of bridge,
But not one with stability in mind.
I walked across each rung,
Did my job, and held my tongue
And on the other side what did I find?
Well, I must be frank with you:
There was a very similar view
Of a gaping gap between the then and now
But I feel somewhat misled;
I’m no higher nor more ahead
And the ladder-maker won’t say why or how.
Filed under Poems
Gyms and Churches Unite!
What if we sold folks
A place they don’t want to go
Then shamed them for it?
Filed under Poems
Too Young For MySpace, Too Old For Empathy
When I hear the word
“Instagram” I always think
“These damn kids today…”
Filed under Poems
One’m Really Sorry Guys…
There once was a Roman dragoon
Who got stabbed by a harpoon.
The medic said, “He
“Really needs an IV.”
The Roman said, “It’s a four, you buffoon!”
Filed under Poems
See Also: Locusts, Floods, Lightning Strikes At Political Rallies…
A zombie apocalypse would be bad,
But if it was just a month or two
We’d probably see society improve
For the ones who made it through.
Filed under Poems
Badduh Hairo, Desu Ne?
They made the very first anime
Back in 1963.
Since then it’s been a mainstay
Of international TV.
They have animes about everything
From kitties to killers, but still
No one’s made one with Japanese barbers
And I’m starting to think no one will…
Filed under Poems
Holy Cow
People will say “Jesus Christ”
“God Damn” and “Heaven Forbid.”
Meanwhile, there’s just some bull out there
Who’s wondering what he did…
Filed under Poems
Survival Tips
Living in the Arctic
Isn’t easy, so I’m told;
It’s devoid of food and shelter
And interminably cold.
But worse than frigid weather
Or starvation you should know
Is that even on the warmest days
The wi-fi’s always slow.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 