Hantavirus ship
Proves the “New World Order” guys
Must be introverts
Not All Calories Are Created Equal
Someone made a sandwich
With ice cream as the filling.;
They took a mighty gamble
But consumers were more than willing.
Then someone ate one of the sandwiches
And thought, “I really don’t like to chew”
So they added some pre-softened cardboard
And gave it the name “Great Value.”
Filed under Poems
Why Don’t YouWant To Grow Up And Get A Job?
Bob works on an oil rig
And thinks it’s a real nice gig
Despite the never being warm,
Likelihood of death, and unending storm.
Jane sell pictures of her feet
And also thinks it’s real neat.
She’s richer than Bob, but feels depressed
Because she’s historically oppressed.
Meanwhile, Greg’s a CEO.
What does he do? How should I know?
But I know he lives much like a royal
With abundant feet pics and plenty of oil.
Filed under Poems
And Then The Lord Did Unfriend Me
God made me a sandwich
And told me not to tell
But that’s my coolest story
So I’ll see all y’all in hell.
Filed under Poems
Maybe If We Got One Of Those Video Games The Kids Like And Put Guns In It? Have We Tried That Yet?
I’m not so concerned about politicians
With approval rates at historical lows.
Instead I’m concerned that armed rebellion
Is still unpopular, but hey, that’s how it goes.
Filed under Poems
Just Add A Polo And Eight Hours Of Foot Fatigue
Yes sir, good morning, and how do you do?
That’s wonderful, really. I’m fine, how are you?
You mean it? That’s awesome! Ya know, that’s so true!
Thanks for your business. Bye bye now! (Pee-yew)
Filed under Poems
Modern Composers Be Like
Why will no one pay
To hear my iguana fart
With an orchestra?
Filed under Poems
Sports 101
Every sport on Earth
Is just humans playing fetch
With some extra rules.
Filed under Poems
Win/Win, Nerd Style
Instead of all the low-income housing
Why can’t we build a castle or six
And all of the nerds will move in there
And the poor get the houses of sticks?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 