A zombie apocalypse would be bad,
But if it was just a month or two
We’d probably see society improve
For the ones who made it through.
Badduh Hairo, Desu Ne?
They made the very first anime
Back in 1963.
Since then it’s been a mainstay
Of international TV.
They have animes about everything
From kitties to killers, but still
No one’s made one with Japanese barbers
And I’m starting to think no one will…
Filed under Poems
Holy Cow
People will say “Jesus Christ”
“God Damn” and “Heaven Forbid.”
Meanwhile, there’s just some bull out there
Who’s wondering what he did…
Filed under Poems
Survival Tips
Living in the Arctic
Isn’t easy, so I’m told;
It’s devoid of food and shelter
And interminably cold.
But worse than frigid weather
Or starvation you should know
Is that even on the warmest days
The wi-fi’s always slow.
Filed under Poems
Modern Mathematical Concepts
We used to joke about word problems
Like “If Joe has 16 melons
“And he puts them in a room with radius pi
“What demographic becomes felons?”
Now we have word problems
Like “You have a one-dollar bill.
“How many dollars do you have
“If you do nothing and stand still?”
Despite the simplification
Of out mathematical riddles
We have fewer correct answers
And more restless thumb twiddles.
(In case you’re feeling curious
The answers are “transeuntes”
And, thanks to hyperinflation,
Somewhere around sixty-eight cents)
Filed under Poems
But We’re All Focused On Laser Guns Instead…
The whole Harry Potter idea
Where everyone owns an owl
Might not be super practical
But it would wipe away my scowl.
Filed under Poems
The Best Possible Outcome
So we’re down three to one
With half an hour to play.
Let’s kick the ball to each other
And do nothing, okay?
Wait, you think we should try
To score after all?
With that attitude
Just give Belgium the ball!
Oh wait, you complied
And the score’s four to one?
Well done team! Now America
Can watch sports that are fun!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 