They say there’s a place for everything
And everything should go in its place.;
My only question is how to efficiently
Send all the lawyers to the vacuum of space.
There’s A Colonel Of Truth Here…
In the civil war, a soldier fled
Across the Kentucky border,
Seeking to preserve his life
By disobeying his orders.
But when he crossed he found himself
On more unfriendly soil.
The deserter was taken hostage
And executed with boiling oil.
I don’t blame you if this story
Might make you quake or sicken,
But its moral is important:
How Kentucky fried the chicken.
Filed under Poems
Formative Experiences
When the film’s PG-13
But there are boobies on the screen
You rule the world as but a teen…
‘Cause the script demanded it, know what I mean?
Filed under Poems
Online Dating (An Impressionist Retrospection)
Egg salad sandwich
Bathing in the midday sun
Wanting to be loved
Filed under Poems
12 Words Are Worth A Thousand Pictures
All alone
On porcelain throne.
Spider comes down.
Now floor is brown.
Filed under Poems
Introducing Your 2028 President Elect
I do not know the muffin man.
I really don’t know nothing, man.
All I know is muffin man
Repeats things, so I’m told.
I’ll tell you of the muffin man
Since you’re no fan of muffin man.
You’ll hear repeats by muffin man
‘Cause the teleprompter’s old.
Filed under Poems
Dream Bigger, America!
Democrats are donkeys.
Republicans are elephants.
Libertarians are porcupines.
All this makes very little sense;
If a party chose a mascot
Like a dragon or a sphinx
They’d win every election
(Or so this poet thinks).
Filed under Poems
The Male Experience (Based On A True Story)
I had an appointment at noon today
So, at 9:00, I took a ten-minute shower,
Then I sat down down to play card games
For about a half an hour.
After I was finished
With my 40 minutes of dun
The universe said, “It’s 3:00 O’clock
“And also you should go buy a gun.”
Filed under Poems
Flawless Logic
Victory is sweet.
Sweet things aren’t good for your health.
“Loser” means “healthy”.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 