Yes sir, good morning, and how do you do?
That’s wonderful, really. I’m fine, how are you?
You mean it? That’s awesome! Ya know, that’s so true!
Thanks for your business. Bye bye now! (Pee-yew)
Modern Composers Be Like
Why will no one pay
To hear my iguana fart
With an orchestra?
Filed under Poems
Sports 101
Every sport on Earth
Is just humans playing fetch
With some extra rules.
Filed under Poems
Win/Win, Nerd Style
Instead of all the low-income housing
Why can’t we build a castle or six
And all of the nerds will move in there
And the poor get the houses of sticks?
Filed under Poems
Universal Income When?
If I’m still in bed
Working hard to write poems,
Am I really though?
Filed under Poems
“Genocide Is Okay If It’s People We Don’t Like” – Some 13-Year-Old
So I heard some kids discussing
World War II with their dad.
“It’s not bad to kill Nazis
“Because Nazis are bad.”
But dad was prepared
And, adeptly, he parried:
“That’s what nazis thought too,
“But their audience varied.”
Filed under Poems
Also, LinkedIn
Satan smiled and laughed:
“Wi-fi has no internet.
“That should blow their minds.”
Filed under Poems
My Response To Deodorant Salespeople
If God intended
Men to have scentless armpits
He’d have made us snakes.
Filed under Poems
Memoirs Of An Ass
They call me smart, they call me dumb,
They call me nice, and yet a bum,
The call me wise, they call me fat,
And somehow I am all of that.
As a body part, you love me;
As a personality, you hate
There’s a decent chance that I’m the thing
That helped you get a date.
So grab me or embrace me
In body and in soul
But please personify my cheek
And steer clear of my hole.
Filed under Poems
Eight Hours Of Peace And Quiet
Toilet seats are cold
Unless you stay on them ‘til
The next needed time.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 