Somewhere far beyond these walls
Walking amidst the eldritch halls
Are dwarves and elves and even men
Saying, “Damn GPS screwed up again.”
Orthodox Inroverts
When people say “What would Jesus do?”
I take that to mean
That I should go underground
And for three days not be seen.
Filed under Poems
I’m Going To Get Fired For This One…
Meritocracy
Is what happens when you give
White kids scholarships.
Filed under Poems
Who’da Guessed?
In the fictional hero’s journey
An opportunity appears
For an ordinary person
To overcome their fears,
To set out on adventure
And become a better man.
In reality, however,
They usually bomb Iran.
Filed under Poems
Origins Of Chess
There once was a man with a horse
That would not walk straight without force.
Inspired by this thought
The horse was soon shot
And the man made a board game instead.
Filed under Poems
What An Improvement!
AI is a tool
Like search engines without ads.
Also, it has ads.
Filed under Poems
When They Won’t Sing The Last Song Until Dean What’s-His-Face Reiterates For The Fourth Time What An Honor And privilege It Is To Congratulate His Colleague On A Career That Has Been Rewarding In So Many Innumerable Ways, Among Which Are…
There once was a director of the choir
Who, after 50 years, decided to retire.
His boss gave a speech
Of such momentous reach
That I had no choice but to open fire.
Filed under Poems
Elon? Any Ideas?
They say there’s a place for everything
And everything should go in its place.;
My only question is how to efficiently
Send all the lawyers to the vacuum of space.
Filed under Poems
There’s A Colonel Of Truth Here…
In the civil war, a soldier fled
Across the Kentucky border,
Seeking to preserve his life
By disobeying his orders.
But when he crossed he found himself
On more unfriendly soil.
The deserter was taken hostage
And executed with boiling oil.
I don’t blame you if this story
Might make you quake or sicken,
But its moral is important:
How Kentucky fried the chicken.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 