Country Music

Well I live down in Texas ’cause I just can’t take

That California heat.

I go honky tonkin’ on Saturday night

With my two left feet.

My dog died last Tuesday, but I don’t mind,

I’ve got used to it.

And when it comes to tanning evenly, I had a chance

And I totally blew it!

 

I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”

I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.

I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,

And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.

 

Well this is the part in the song where I

Talk about a girl.

She’s generally half-dressed and wearin’ jewelry

Made out of mother-o’-pearl.

This is a bit of topic, but isn’t the mother of pearl

Just an oyster?

And while I sing about Jesus, I don’t sing about nuns

Or about their cloister.

 

I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”

I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.

I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,

And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.

 

Someone died of cancer,

Someone cheated on their man.

Someone rode on a choo-choo train

And ate food from a can.

I think I’m running out of

Half-decent cliches,

So Let’s sing the chorus one more time

Then we’ll go our separate ways!

 

I don’t say the F-bomb, I only say “Truck.”

I fish on the weekends and hunt for duck.

I like to ride horses, and stables I muck,

And if you don’t like women, then country songs suck.