Tag Archives: Music

The Best Revenge Is A Fifth Grade Band Student

Blow ye trumpet!

Blow yer horn

From sunset ‘til

Tomorrow morn’.

Bugle brightly

As if in labor

For I’m out of town

And I hate my neighbors!

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Music and Lyrics

I heard some kids sing “Old McDonald”

Singing “With a moo moo here and a moo moo there,

“Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo.”

Then I turned on the radio

And heard a 41-year-old sing

“Who rules the world? Girls.

“Who rules the world? Girls.

“Who rules the world? Girls.

“Who rules the world? Girls.”

Children deserve more respect.

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Green Power Meets Greek Power

A giant electric windmill met Sisyphus

And asked, “Do you like music, man?”

Sisyphus said, “Anything but rock and roll.”

The turbine said, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Based On Actual Song Lyrics

Doowop, doowop.

Doowop bebop shadooby.

Wicky-wicky, chicka-chicka,

Doowoppa scooby dooby.

Boobop, baddop,

Badoppawop pizazz!

If you think this poem’s stupid

Then you REALLY must hate jazz.

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The Good Life

Today I played some rock and roll

‘Til ten o’clock at night,

Then when outside to watch a comet

In his fiery flight,

Drank some cool tap water

That soothed a tired throat

And pondered why the universe

Decided ducks should float.

Some of this was worldly

And some was wild and rough

And some was almost childish

But not nearly enough.

So when you watch the news and think

The world has gone to hell

I hope you play some rock and roll

‘Til ten o’clock as well.

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Why Adventurers Just Don’t Anymore In 2022

We survived a drowning island.

We endured the burning sand.

We outlasted freezing rain

And our cousin’s cover band.

We’ve outrun giant boulders

And a crazy nazi horde

But when the radio plays songs

By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!

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Multipurpose Tool

A shiny new piano

Is a beauty to behold,

And music can bring life and warmth

Despite the rain and cold.

Every key and inch of wood

Brings harmony, dear reader…

Especially when dropped from the 60th floor

Onto the appropriate world leader.

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We’re All In The Mood For A Melody (Plus Innocent Townsfolk To Bite)

It patrols the oceans, breathing in and out

Horrible and jolly all at once.

Scientists see it and ponder about

Whether perhaps this is how the beast hunts?

Don’t underestimate musical cheer;

It’s bite is as fierce as its bark.

Yes, if you see it you’ll quiver in fear…

The majestic harmonica shark!

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Taaaake… Me To The Ri. Vuh… (Drop me in the wa. Tuh…) But An Octave Lower

The guys who, in the ‘90s,

Made the singing Big Mouth Bass

Will be long renowned by history

For redefining “urban class.”

Alas, they could have changed music

Had they thought ahead so far

As to make an instrument

They called the “bass guitar.”

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Wind Chimes

Sometime in the distant past

Somebody’s wife I suppose

Decided to hang a bunch of pipes

So whenever the wind blows

It makes the sound of a little kid

Assaulting a glockenspiel

And she sold these things for thirty bucks

And I don’t know how I feel…*

*That’s a lie. I love them. They are wonderful.

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