Tag Archives: Music

The Good Life

Today I played some rock and roll

‘Til ten o’clock at night,

Then when outside to watch a comet

In his fiery flight,

Drank some cool tap water

That soothed a tired throat

And pondered why the universe

Decided ducks should float.

Some of this was worldly

And some was wild and rough

And some was almost childish

But not nearly enough.

So when you watch the news and think

The world has gone to hell

I hope you play some rock and roll

‘Til ten o’clock as well.

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Why Adventurers Just Don’t Anymore In 2022

We survived a drowning island.

We endured the burning sand.

We outlasted freezing rain

And our cousin’s cover band.

We’ve outrun giant boulders

And a crazy nazi horde

But when the radio plays songs

By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!

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Multipurpose Tool

A shiny new piano

Is a beauty to behold,

And music can bring life and warmth

Despite the rain and cold.

Every key and inch of wood

Brings harmony, dear reader…

Especially when dropped from the 60th floor

Onto the appropriate world leader.

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We’re All In The Mood For A Melody (Plus Innocent Townsfolk To Bite)

It patrols the oceans, breathing in and out

Horrible and jolly all at once.

Scientists see it and ponder about

Whether perhaps this is how the beast hunts?

Don’t underestimate musical cheer;

It’s bite is as fierce as its bark.

Yes, if you see it you’ll quiver in fear…

The majestic harmonica shark!

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Taaaake… Me To The Ri. Vuh… (Drop me in the wa. Tuh…) But An Octave Lower

The guys who, in the ‘90s,

Made the singing Big Mouth Bass

Will be long renowned by history

For redefining “urban class.”

Alas, they could have changed music

Had they thought ahead so far

As to make an instrument

They called the “bass guitar.”

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Wind Chimes

Sometime in the distant past

Somebody’s wife I suppose

Decided to hang a bunch of pipes

So whenever the wind blows

It makes the sound of a little kid

Assaulting a glockenspiel

And she sold these things for thirty bucks

And I don’t know how I feel…*

*That’s a lie. I love them. They are wonderful.

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Pyramids: Primeval Percussion Palaces

Before the phrase “More Cowbell”

Took the world by storm

Egyptians had a fever

And only could stay warm

By making a great replica

Of the instrument they’d dangle;

And they shouted in Egyptian

“I need some more triangle!”

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If You Don’t Remember “Hang Up The Phone, I Need To Yahoo Search Something,” You’re Too Young To Get This Poem

One low buzz, eleven beep-boop

Ba-ba-ba beeps

Then six seconds of static

That gives you the creeps,

Then the death metal chorus

Played on a child’s toy

And the internet is yours to use.

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

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E I E Ya Know?

Why are classic songs just like,

“Songs just like,

“Songs just like?”

Why are classic songs just like

Repetitive and s**t?

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When You At Least Remember the Important Part of the Limerick

There once was bobabezine

That slodda dee focus or line?

And burger da beep

Chodda wodda ga meep?

Soda wamegla SWEET CAROLINE!

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