Today I played some rock and roll
‘Til ten o’clock at night,
Then when outside to watch a comet
In his fiery flight,
Drank some cool tap water
That soothed a tired throat
And pondered why the universe
Decided ducks should float.
Some of this was worldly
And some was wild and rough
And some was almost childish
But not nearly enough.
So when you watch the news and think
The world has gone to hell
I hope you play some rock and roll
‘Til ten o’clock as well.
Filed under Poems
We survived a drowning island.
We endured the burning sand.
We outlasted freezing rain
And our cousin’s cover band.
We’ve outrun giant boulders
And a crazy nazi horde
But when the radio plays songs
By Taylor Swift… Oh Lord!
Filed under Poems
A shiny new piano
Is a beauty to behold,
And music can bring life and warmth
Despite the rain and cold.
Every key and inch of wood
Brings harmony, dear reader…
Especially when dropped from the 60th floor
Onto the appropriate world leader.
Filed under Poems
It patrols the oceans, breathing in and out
Horrible and jolly all at once.
Scientists see it and ponder about
Whether perhaps this is how the beast hunts?
Don’t underestimate musical cheer;
It’s bite is as fierce as its bark.
Yes, if you see it you’ll quiver in fear…
The majestic harmonica shark!
Filed under Poems
The guys who, in the ‘90s,
Made the singing Big Mouth Bass
Will be long renowned by history
For redefining “urban class.”
Alas, they could have changed music
Had they thought ahead so far
As to make an instrument
They called the “bass guitar.”
Filed under Poems
Sometime in the distant past
Somebody’s wife I suppose
Decided to hang a bunch of pipes
So whenever the wind blows
It makes the sound of a little kid
Assaulting a glockenspiel
And she sold these things for thirty bucks
And I don’t know how I feel…*
*That’s a lie. I love them. They are wonderful.
Before the phrase “More Cowbell”
Took the world by storm
Egyptians had a fever
And only could stay warm
By making a great replica
Of the instrument they’d dangle;
And they shouted in Egyptian
“I need some more triangle!”
Filed under Poems
One low buzz, eleven beep-boop
Ba-ba-ba beeps
Then six seconds of static
That gives you the creeps,
Then the death metal chorus
Played on a child’s toy
And the internet is yours to use.
Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!
Filed under Poems
Why are classic songs just like,
“Songs just like,
“Songs just like?”
Why are classic songs just like
Repetitive and s**t?
Filed under Poems
There once was bobabezine
That slodda dee focus or line?
And burger da beep
Chodda wodda ga meep?
Soda wamegla SWEET CAROLINE!
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 