Mr. Toad Can Only Get So Wild

I know I’m frustrated,

A little bit mad,

Both happy and pouty

And yet somewhat sad.

I’m also ecstatic,

Romantic, and weak,

Like my heart is an ocean

With a slow drizzly leak.

My head spins like the plate

In a microwave oven

And I feel so unwelcome

Like Christ in a coven.

Somehow these feelings

Keep bubbling inside

When the UCLA intern

Says I’m too tall to ride.