Tag Archives: Postaday

That Last One Will Hit You All Over The Place

No one will evacuate

For Hurricane Irma or Steve.

Those aren’t the type of names

That make Floridians leave.

I think we need more hurricanes

Like Hurricane Buried Alive,

Hurricane Dirt-On-The-Clintons,

Or Hurricane Black-Guy-High-Five.

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Poet Who Kicked Tires Hospitalized With Foot Injury

They said they found the car for me,

Right in my price range.

A week later I totaled it

When I got an oil change.

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When You Ask The White Guy, “How Are You”

Some people just are lucky

By their nature it would seem,

Like take my Muslim buddy

Who I fondly call Kareem…

He fought against America

And lost both legs in the war

And now he wastes no money

Buying ladders anymore!

Or take my buddy La’Kwon

Who is bald and five-foot-three

And every February

His Valentine’s dinner is free!

Some people get to camp for free

300 days a year.

Others have no eyeballs

And they never shed a tear.

Some folks are hard of hearing

And don’t have to wear a mask

And all I can say is “I am fine,

“Whyever do you ask?”

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One Trapdoor Mishap Later…

I went through a stage when I was an actor.

I think the hole in the floor was a factor.

The said “Break a leg,” so I did obey.

Now I have my own cast I don’t have to pay!

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Go Cry To… Oops

There’s nothing anyone can say

That won’t offend another.

For instance, if you say

That you live with your mother

Women call you loser,

Men will say you suck,

And orphans will be pissed

Because some guys get all the luck.

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The News Be Like…

It is a fact from an incited source

That 30 percent of collisions

Are the result of someone driving drunk;

In other words, poor decisions.

That means that 70 percent

Of sober drivers crash.

Driving without drinking

Is, according to statistic, rash.

That fact, if analyzed in depth

Means that driving sober will

Increase your chances by 133%

That, by driving, you will kill.

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Faith, Hope, and Love

Faith, hope, and love are good things He gave us,

From His bright temple so high up above,

Hoping that our faith in Him would show us

That the greatest of these many is love.

I’ve met women named both Faith and Hope though

And hoped to find a faithful love with them,

And hope for Hope and faith in Faith did grow

Though faithful love I hoped for would not stem.

But sometimes for what you hope and you pray

Are not what faith intended at that hour;

Sometimes what seems like hope misplaced may say

That patience can be full of wondrous power.

So here I am, my faith tested before

Still hopes your love is still worth hoping for.

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So The Nuclear Button Might Bring Them Back?

Maybe, just maybe

Dragons aren’t here anymore

Because they breathed fire

But now the sky is full of air?

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Somebody Once Told Me…

I proudly draw a perfect circle

And then somebody screams…

“It’s a Venn Diagram of people born in the ’90’s

“And people who like to make memes!”

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And He Was Like, “Bohemian Rhapsody Is So Long…”

Sometimes you park your car

Just when a song starts playing

And you sing along, now knowing

That your plans are worth delaying.

For some folks it’s the Beatles,

And for some the Rolling Stones.

For me it’s Wagner’s Ring Cycle

Which is why I’m a pile of bones.

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