Tag Archives: Poetry

This Is What Happens When You Don’t Click “Like”

I’ve worked hard the past few days

But this is not my work that pays

And thus I write one stanza here.

Go read the stuff I wrote last year.

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An Excerpt From Disney’s Cancelled Musical, “Beelzebabe”

I awake to a nightmare. The heat is infernal

Here in the land of damnation eternal

Where I was born, and where I can never die.

My homework is done, my chores are complete,

My collar is starched, and my bedroom is neat,

And yet there’s my dad giving me the evil eye.

I’d like to have breakfast in silence,

But the demons are having a feast

On faith, hope, and love… oh, and entrails…

Here in the domain of the beast!

I’m just a kid! I did nothing bad!

I’m just down here all because of my dad!

Eternal strife’s just a day in the life

Of Stan, Satan’s son.

When people sin or they touch themselves

They end up here, or so says the Bible.

I have done neither and yet somehow here I must stay?

I never knew who my mother was.

Who would make love to the Prince of Hatred?

For all I know Lucifer might just maybe be gay?

I’m born of spite, empty of light,

Nine layers deep and yet still I do right?

Why is this glee deep within me,

Stan, Satan’s Son?

I am the precocious instead of atrocious.

I always say “thank you” and “please.”

I can’t help but bother my nefarious father,

Who you call Mephistopheles.

Up in the sky, when the blood clouds part,

I feel in my decomposed heart a leaping,

Picturing worlds with fresh air, vegans, even romance.

Then I’ll go early to torment school,

Pausing to clean up a pool of lava

Hiding in alleys to sing hymns and, sometimes, to dance.

It’s been a while since I saw a smile.

It has been eons since I’ve had fun.

Why’s this my fate? Why can’t I just hate?

Love,

Stan

Satan’s Son

P.S. If you’re in Hell

Be like me: Rebel.

(Organ plays “dun dun DUN!)

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A Poem for Folks Who Specify Their Pronouns

Roses are violet

And violets are rose.

That’s what they said,

So I guess that’s what goes?

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What’s In A Nest?

Let me show you my nest,

The place I rest my head,

Full of feathers and down,

The protection we shed.

We’ll regrow them in time.

They adorn my haven,

Nothing but sticks and mud

And a home for a raven.

My nest’s in a tree.

The tree’s made by rain.

Rain makes my wings heavy

And makes flying pain.

If the sun comes around

And then refuses to set

I’ll have no tree or nest,

So I pray to be wet.

Bugs and worms fill me up

So I may keep eggs warm

So my nest will be full

With a small raven swarm

Who complain of the rain

And fear losing a feather

And I don’t mind their kind

And I treasure “together.”

Soon they’ll be showing

A tree with their nest

And “together” is gone

And it’s all for the best.

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To Infinity… And Beyond

Here’s the latest quandary

That kept me up all night:

I thought I was bad at self-evaluation

And it turns out I was right…

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American Political Redux

Trumpty Dumpty built us a wall.

Trumpty Dumpty polled well in the Fall,

But an army of lawyers, Fox News, and white horses

Couldn’t stop CNN and “Anonymous Sources.”

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When Movies Aren’t In Chronological Order

Dab and Deb were walking

To meet up with Dib and Dob.

(Dub was nowhere to be seen).

Then Dab began to sob.

The first sentence is the beginning

And the third one is the ending.

Someone said “Smack Dab in the middle of it.”

Now wasn’t that mind-bending?

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This Poem Rhymes If Your Accent Is Creative Enough

There once was an American skier

Who fell off a Canadian pier.

He yelled, “I broke my foot!”

Some bystanders asked, “What?”

Then one said, “Oh! His one-third of a meter!”

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‘90s Kids Won’t Get This Joke

Dr. Pepper was hit by an iron

He recently confessed.

When asked how he was feeling

He said “I’m soda pressed.”

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