Tag Archives: Poetry


I told my friend “good morning”

And they just said “morning” back

Which makes me wonder what I did

To deserve that sort of attack.


He said “My pronoun’s potato

“Instead of he, him, and his.”

I mumbled “What isn’t a pronoun”

And he shouted “Yes, what is!”


I ate dessert for breakfast

Though I don’t know how or why;

I made some scrambled eggs

But they identified as pie.


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Think Of A Clown, But Creepy, Then Laugh A Lot And Act Evil…

Jared Leto, as The Joker,

Made “Suicide Squad” tolerable.

Joaquin Phoenix, as The Joker,

Made his film a billion-dollar-able

Heath Ledger, as The Joker,

Took the Oscar world by storm

And Jack Nicholson, as The Joker,

Was creepy, as per the norm.

Cesar Romero, as The Joker,

Was a true comedic villain.

With nothing but his voice

Mark Hamill made The Joker chilling.

Looking at this track record

All I have to say

Is maybe… (bear with me) maybe…

Joker’s an easy roll to play?

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The Power Of Education

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

This poem is boring;

Let’s see what a PhD will do…

Rosoideae are vermillion,

Their brethren, cyan.

I choose to eschew the quotidian

Because, demonstrably, I can.

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Horror Movies

Steve wanted to scare me

So he said “Guess what’s groovy?

“In ten years they’ll probably

“Make Jenga: The Movie.”

I wanted revenge,

To give Steve what was due,

So I said, “In twelve years

“They might make Jenga 2.”

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When the moon rises high

Over your sleeping body

And the night fairy carries out schemes

You cannot perceive

The world as it is

But instead you see into your dreams.

In dreams you’re a giant,

A wizard, a toaster,

A breakfast of bacon and eggs

And you fight with a demon

Who looks like your neighbor

Except for his seventy legs.

You dream of a princess

Named “Costco Potatoes”

Who sings about pudding and skin

And then you awake,

Completely forgetting

The fantasy world you were in.

Lost are the memories

Of worlds unimagined

Like socks, lyrics, birthdays, and names,

But you know you are dreaming

When someone is screaming

“Your mixtape is actually flames!”

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My 2020 Endorsement

When I was a kid

I saw a film that changed my life

About a team of athletes

Who were suffering from strife.

They were not good at basketball

So they hired a dog to play.

If a dog can win a championship

Why not elect it, eh?

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Extremely Forced Naughty Jokes Are Tight!

It might mean very different things

When I say to my girlfriend

“I still can’t understand you,”

Followed by: “Come again?”

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