Tag Archives: Poetry

Death: A Children’s Book

🤕

This is Stan.

Stan is dead.

Stan’s dead ’cause he hit his head.

😢

When you hit your head you cry

And sometimes you, like Stan, will die

👻

But if you don’t, don’t feel blue…

There are other ways to quit life too!

😷

You can die from a disease

Passed on by friends or mice or fleas.

🤑🎆

You can be killed by overwork

Or even by a firework!

🤡

A clown can kill you at a fair

(Though I’ll admit that’s rather rare)

🦘

Or you can die by kangaroo

(Though I’ll admit that that’s rare too).

❤️

Most folks die of heart disease

From not eating their broccolis.

♋️

Cancer kills a lot of folks

And it’s the butt of many jokes.

💯

Everybody’s going to die

But there’s no need for you to cry,

😤

But if you keep crying soon you can

Meet our head wound idol, Stan!

🤕

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Why You Shouldn’t Be An English Major

Bucolic was the morning mist

On fields outside of Boise.

The adults sipped their hot caffein

And the children weren’t noisy.

Within one comely bungalow

A dalliance effloresced.

You probably don’t know what that means

And perhaps it’s for the best.

I bring up this erstwhile dalliance

Between man and ingénou

With intentional insouciance

To show I’m smarter than you.

The denouement of this poem,

Evanescent as it is,

Shows evidence of the inurement

I’ve derived from colleges.

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Book Reports

Quite a number of years ago

There lived a certain so-and-so

Who often times did… well, you know…

And it turned out like you’d think.

Another someone did react

And that, I can say, is a fact.

Some things were had and some were lacked

And some of those things were pink.

Then stuff went down all over town

And what was pink soon turned to brown

And Jack fell down and broke his crown

And someone felt remorse!

Then the tale wrapped up in the knick of time

And what was pink, then brown, turned into lime

And all in all it was sublime.

What? Of course I read the book!

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November, 2020

You probably didn’t think

That evidence you’d find

To elect a Pokémon,

But I hope to change your mind:

So if you are American

(Or not, we don’t really check)

Vote Meowth 2020

‘Cause hey! What the heck?

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A Poetical Update/Cry For Help

As I was reading through my blog

Upon this snowy day

I realized there’s lots of posts

That, by default, went away.

There are two-thousand-something poems

That I’ve written on this site

And to have them be forgotten

Just really isn’t right.

I looked into solutions

But to add a button here

To send you to a random post

Costs $600 a year (Seriously WordPress? Seriously?)

So my solution to preserve

Those posts into which I put thought

Is to compile a book that’s bigger

Than the books you’ve already bought. (Hint hint)

So a thing that I am wondering

About my biggest-book-yet dream

Is whether to just compile stuff

Or whether to have a theme.

And here’s the part where you come in:

Please help me make you happy

By commenting or emailing me

Advice to make the book less crappy…

Is an omnibus of random poems

With my thoughts added enough

Or do you want a theme again

With more never-published stuff?

And if, of course, you don’t reply

I’ll just decide myself

But I’ll make the cover aubergine

So it looks weird on your shelf 🙂

Comments welcomed on the site, or emailed to thedailytravesty@yahoo.com

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Honesty

I used to be wealthy, handsome, and brave.

I used to be known as whom all women crave.

I used to be humble, witty, and wise

But then I stopped speaking in nothing but lies.

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Why English Is Hard

How do you pronounce vapid,

Plein air, eschew, or bow?

Then when you factor in typoes

You really never now.

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