In a world without coyotes
And a scarcity of ginger ale
I’d take comfort in the notion
That my legs would still be pale.
Tag Archives: Poetry
First Graders Be Like…
Some like it hot.
Some like it cold.
Some people just learned how to change the font color.
And also make text bold.
Filed under Poems
Priorities
If you put your life on the line
To defend our nation
You get one day for
A long weekend vacation.
If you decide
“Everyone turns me on”
You get all of June
To be praised unto dawn.
But whether you’re mad
That the alphabet crew
Get a month, or that veterans
Kinda get screwed
What we must remember
With all we hold dear
Is that China gives bunnies
A whole freakin’ year!
Filed under Poems
Requires At Least 18 Years Of Continuous Experience In This Gender
We’ve finally reached the fated day
Where your date presents a resume
And you have to ask her in detail
About the gap in her experience as a female
Filed under Poems
Wisdom of the Elements
I roasted marshmallows on an open fire
And the poofed up soft and gold.
I roasted them over a vat of ice
And they sat unchanged. I’m told
That fire and ice are equals
And, while true, it must be said
That camping is better with fire than ice.
Now enlightened, go ye to bed.
Filed under Poems
When Rest Isn’t Restful
Thus the long weekend
Comes to a close.
We’ve done nothing for days
So why d’you suppose
We’re tired and cranky
And feeling frustration
And wanting time off
From our latest vacation?
Filed under Poems
French Geography, German Efficiency
There once was a limerick from Nice
That was astonishingly concise.
Filed under Poems
The Day God Made Africa?
And on the twenty-second day
God said “Let 99 men moisten the grass
“And the hundredth man you shall eschew”.
Even then it was widely known
That one hundred men or more
Could never dew.
Filed under Poems
Batman
There once was a comic detective
Who had a unique bat perspective.
He had gadgets and jokes
‘Til the Hollywood folks
Said “Do more, but the fun is defective.”
Filed under Poems
I’m Too Old For Lumps Or Finger Painting, But Maybe She’ll Hang This On Her Fridge Instead?
Today is my mother’s birthday.
Her birth did occur on this date.
In honor of her I caused this poem to occur
And published it moderately late.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 