God is perfect, but
Counterpoint: Cilantro though…
I doth rest my case.
Tag Archives: Poetry
Not All Similes Are Created Equal
Life is like an avocado
In the metaphorical sense that it’s
Kinda bumpy on the surface
And, if you go deep, it’s the pits,
It’s got a bunch of healthy fat
And more phosphorous than you’d expect
And probably lots of other dots
ThatI’ve yet to connect.
Filed under Poems
My Wife’s Blackberry Crisp
My wife made a dish today
With blackberries and stuff.
She put in lots of butter and sugar
And if that were not enough
She popped in some spices
And topped it with oats
And measured absolutely nothing
And said “Is that good? Totes!“
Turns out when tou stick things
That taste food together
And bake them a while
And don’t even measure
It ends up delicious
And super-dupes yummy
And now it’s all gone
And expanded my tummy.
Filed under Poems
Phonetics
When in doubt
Just sound it out
(Unless your words
Are “when” or “doubt”)
Filed under Poems
Never Doomscroll On A Lazy Sunday Morning
One day when I was falling asleep
I watched a video of some guys
Pressing a button to time themselves
Without using their eyes
And now my entire video feed
Is infested with “buzzing pros”
And YouTube disabled any way
Of never again seeing those…
Filed under Poems
Intro To Mongolian History
There were horse legions;
Now they are a metaphor
For far-as-heck stuff.
Filed under Poems
Intro To Japanese History
They swung their nunchakus
We dropped two nuclear bombs
Now they make cartoons
Filed under Poems
But If You Order Now, You Can Get Both!
If you have a form of ‘tism
It may be a blessing or flaw
Depending on whether its “nepo”
Or more on the spectrum of “au”.
Filed under Poems
Roommates Be Like…
Kitties say I love you
And sleep next to your face,
Doggos think you’re perfect
And guard your personal space,
Fish will poop and swim around
But don’t generally intrude,
And yet you bought a porcupine…
What is your problem, dude?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 