I observe in the world some ridiculous things
In which men and women fall in love and wear rings.
They dress in nice clothing and a church choir sings.
They call this strange custom a wedding.
Now from my point of view this could be simplified
By giving a gift and agreeing to abide
By the rules of agreement, which mutually signed
Would much simplify this custom of weddings.
A man should give to the women he loves
A fishing rod, radio, wrenches, and gloves,
And then he gets drunk and says something ’bout “chuvs”
And he’s now satisfied with a wedding.
A woman, following in her man’s example
Might give her loves roses or a new perfume sample.
The possibilities of gifts would be thoroughly ample
And would well take the place of a wedding.
And once this process is finished, the man and his wife
Are unsatisfied with their gifts and the course of their life,
And no one gets married, has kids, or has strife
And humanity dies without weddings.
Well actually that does not sound very good.
Life without weddings is not how be it should.
I’m sorry I questioned you darling. ‘Twas rude,
Now we’re off to our big stupid wedding!
The Daily Travesty 