Tag Archives: Weddings

Celebrity Weddings

With persiflage they pledged

To be true what was alleged.

With mockery they both

Laid down their sacred oath.

She had money on the mind;

He had eyes on her behind.

Thus, with one all-sealing kiss

Began six days of wedded bliss.

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Prelude to “Left at the Altar”

I observe in the world some ridiculous things

In which men and women fall in love and wear rings.

They dress in nice clothing and a church choir sings.

They call this strange custom a wedding.


Now from my point of view this could be simplified

By giving a gift and agreeing to abide

By the rules of agreement, which mutually signed

Would much simplify this custom of weddings.


A man should give to the women he loves

A fishing rod, radio, wrenches, and gloves,

And then he gets drunk and says something ’bout “chuvs”

And he’s now satisfied with a wedding.


A woman, following in her man’s example

Might give her loves roses or a new perfume sample.

The possibilities of gifts would be thoroughly ample

And would well take the place of a wedding.


And once this process is finished, the man and his wife

Are unsatisfied with their gifts and the course of their life,

And no one gets married, has kids, or has strife

And humanity dies without weddings.


Well actually that does not sound very good.

Life without weddings is not how be it should.

I’m sorry I questioned you darling. ‘Twas rude,

Now we’re off to our big stupid wedding!

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