As the knight climbed the steps
To the princess’s room
His heart pounded harder
Than you’d be prone to assume.
He flung open the door
And what did he see?
A bored, unwashed princess
Aged 73.
That’s what you get
When you lock up a kid
With no education
In a tower guarded
By an unslayable dragon.
And what did she eat?
Only things that could keep
Like canned veggies and meat.
She had no running water,
No way to catch rain,
No outside contact
To challenge her brain.
So if you’ve got a princess
Don’t lock her away.
Besides, all the good knights
Are taken or gay.
The Daily Travesty 