Whoever built this universe
Gave me a lousy deal.
I’m the world’s strongest failure,
And that’s a lousy way to feel.
See, I have a job I cannot leave
For which I am reviled,
Waiting for a protagonist
To arrive at my domicile
To strike me down with spell and steel,
And even if I win
He saved his game, and back he comes,
Our battle to begin.
If that is not a handicap
Sufficient for your taste,
My actions are predetermined.
My talents are a waste.
And so, grand noble hero
Please take this victory
And feel proud of the achievement
Of beating poor old me.
The Daily Travesty 