Tag Archives: Games

Pictionary

I drew a little stickman

Sitting in a tree

Holding a banana

And my friend said “Chimpanzee.”

I made the stickman hairier

And made his muscles big

And made his nose look stubby

And my friend said “Chimpanzee?”

I made stickman hold a lady

And stand on a skyscraper

And the light in my friend’s eyes turned on

And he said “Big chimpanzee.”

Then I pointed at the picture

And gestured for a while,

Drew the same picture again

And my friend began to smile

And as the sand fell from the timer

He sat up straight and tall

And said “That is Godzilla,”

So I threw him through a wall.

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Yes, I Was Playing White

I played a game of chess today

With a lass from West L.A.

I pinned her king and said “Checkmate,”

But West L.A demanded “Wait!”

She pointed out that I had doomed

A king whose gender I’d assumed

And what my small mind hadn’t seen

Was that I had trapped her second queen.

Having no method now to win

I concluded she had done me in.

Now the world can only guess:

Why don’t more lesbians play chess?

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Still More Fun Than Watching Soccer

I want to play rock-paper-scissors

Where scissors beats rock, ’cause then

Everyone would always choose scissors

And it would make the game more “zen.”

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Board Games In Baltimore

We sat down to play

The latest version of Clue,

Read through the rulebook

To check what was new,

Saw a new character

Named “Mr. Not-White”

And we shouted “Case closed”

And called it a night.

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I Got Game?

My sex life is like a game of bridge,

And I don’t mean bland:

I don’t need a partner

‘Cause I have an awesome hand.

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The Second-Greatest Invention Of All Time Was A Cutting Device

The greatest invention of all time

Was the invention of paper

Not because it simplified written language

Or made knowledge portable,

But because it drastically reduced the number of ties

In the popular game of “Rock.”

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Monopoly

You all begin by passing “go,”

But who will win we don’t yet know.

You buy land with childish glee

Wherever two dice should decree.

This play continues for a while

And all the players wear a smile

Until the property is bought.

Then the game changes a lot.

Instead of paying endless rent

It pays to be of criminal bent

And spend a couple turns in jail

Before you pay a $50 bail.

But at this point the odds are high

That you know who is the guy

Who’ll win the game when all is done.

At this point it’s no longer fun.

But do you stop when joy is gone?

No! No! No! You carry on!

When bankrupt are the car and shoe,

The thimble’s dead and so are you

So ends the game, and that is when

The winner says “Let’s play again!”

Then you and the losers, at your behest

Punch the winner in his community chest.

Through the pain he says “Tsk, tsk.

“Then how about a game of Risk?”

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