The Bad Day Begins

I took a fifteen minute shower

To get all clean and bright,

But when I stepped in it

The water wasn’t right.

At first it was too hot to stand,

So I bumped it down a little.

It turned out either hot or cold,

But nowhere in the middle.

I got out and toweled off

And went to check the heater.

It may have been fine. I don’t know.

I couldn’t read the meter.

So I called up a plumber

To come down that afternoon.

He said that he would call me back.

I hope he shows up soon.

And so I had a sponge bath

That took upwards of an hour

Cause I waited for the sponge to cool

From the overheated shower.

Then I hopped into my car

Stuck in my key and turned,

When a friendly orange dash light

Said my gas had all been burned.

I sweated thirty miles

On my tandem bike, alone.

I’d have called you when I left

But I forgot my phone.

And here I am, alive and well,

Although I’m somewhat harried.

Any minute now my darling one

Will come, and we’ll get married.