Being Mediocre

I may not be Annie Oakley

But you’ve never seen a fellow

Hit the broad side of a barn

Like I can do!

I may not be a doctor

But when a friend turns yellow

No one can say “there there”

Like I’ve learned to!

I’m not a jack of any trade.

Perhaps that’s why I’ve got it made.

I’m a wizard who can’t even cast a spell!

But that stuff is overrated,

Sloth underappreciated.

Yes, being mediocre’s pretty swell!

 

I haven’t learned a trade,

Nor the sciences or arts,

But I can sit around

Like no one’s business!

And when you see me doing

Nothing that requires smarts, you’ll ask

The fellow next to you

“Who on earth is this?”

I’m a man with no profession,

Absent when class is in session

Because I’m born unable to work well.

But that won’t dampen my mood

‘Cause my life’s still pretty good.

Yes, being mediocre’s pretty swell!

So if you’re not a Grant or Lincoln

There’s no need for you to feel

As though your greatest dreams

Will not come true!

Your dream of happy lounging’s

Achievable through clever scroungings

And if I can do it, surely

So can you!

I’m no poet but I rhyme!

You’ve a quarter, I’ve a dime!

I’ve no fear at all of being damned to Hell

‘Cause they’ll never let me in.

If you do nothing, you can’t sin.

Posthumous mediocrity is swell!

Yes being mediocre’s pretty swell!