Tag Archives: Life

So… Status Quo Then?

Tomorrow it shall be

My sincerest endeavor

To compose some light verse

That’s both awesome and clever.

Tonight my endeavor’s

To not lose my clout

While I promise you good stuff

That’s yet to come out.

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What’s In A Nest?

Let me show you my nest,

The place I rest my head,

Full of feathers and down,

The protection we shed.

We’ll regrow them in time.

They adorn my haven,

Nothing but sticks and mud

And a home for a raven.

My nest’s in a tree.

The tree’s made by rain.

Rain makes my wings heavy

And makes flying pain.

If the sun comes around

And then refuses to set

I’ll have no tree or nest,

So I pray to be wet.

Bugs and worms fill me up

So I may keep eggs warm

So my nest will be full

With a small raven swarm

Who complain of the rain

And fear losing a feather

And I don’t mind their kind

And I treasure “together.”

Soon they’ll be showing

A tree with their nest

And “together” is gone

And it’s all for the best.

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…Ya Know?

Chevy is the At&T of cars.

Polos are the Taylor Swift of shirts.

Venus is the Uranus of Mars.

Shorts are the frozen waffles of skirts.

Mondays are the Youtube ads of time.

The Bachelor is the store-brand Cheerios of salt.

Chihuahuas are the poet’s salary of crime.

If you don’t get these metaphors that’s not my fault.

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We Are Never Ever Ever… Sending You Another Letter!

I got a letter in the mail

From a Jehovah’s Witness

Which explained God’s will to me

And wished me mental fitness.

It told me, “God is watching

“And he’s offering you a lift,”

And yet I’ve seen no news

About the death of Taylor Swift…

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Very Grounded

The loyal tortoise ambles

Through a forest full of brambles

Where once a meadow full of flowers flourished,

Where once the stamens danced

And petals bright entranced

Now a harsher foliage is nourished.

The tortoise tries a bite

Of whatever plant’s in sight

Its mouth enduring savagery and pain

For the aged tortoise knows

That they who seek a rose

Will, in the process, find that thorns they gain.

The tortoise eats its pick

Though much may make it sick

In hopes of finding what it thinks is lost.

The tortoise chews and bleeds

Just to satisfy its needs,

To find its rose regardless of the cost.

Somewhere amid the brush,

In a pocket, dark and hushed,

A seed emerges from the salty soil.

Its leaves taste stale air,

But the seed does not despair

For beauty never grows bereft of toil.

Someday the rose will bloom

And emerge amidst the gloom.

Perhaps the tortoise finds it after all.

Fearless are the plants of old,

Or so another tortoise told

In tales to seeds and to the ones who crawl.

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Ode To The Mayfly

Born a nymph in the woods of Montana,

My life is lovely, brighter than a

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My friend says it’s stressful

Trying to stay on track,

Keeping up with work and play

And texting everyone back…

And here I am, still in bed

At 2:35,

Unemployed, without friends,

Feeling happy to be alive!

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Also… It’s 7:56

If this were a job

It might get me fired

But this poem’s crap

‘Cause it’s late and I’m tired.

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Towers of Solitude Circa 2020 (Dragons Not Included)

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

Who’s the fairest of them all?

Sorry princess, I can’t say…

Your credit card expired today.

Mirror, mirror of denial,

What about my winning smile?

Princess, although my heart leapt

That’s not a payment I accept.

Mirror, mirror I don’t know,

I’ve got a new email so…


Want a two-week free trial of the best mirror yet?

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The Debate Is Over

Childbirth is painful for women

And ball-kickage is painful for men

But after it’s done only one

Waits teo years, then says “Do it again!”

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