Tag Archives: Life

Ancient Wisdom

“Let he who is without fault

Cast the first stone.”

-Ye Olde Baseball for Beginners

“Just because my path is different

“Doesn’t mean I’m lost.”

-Traditional Male Excuse

“Even though I walk

“Through the darkest valley

“I will fear no evil

“For you are with me.”

-Man With Concealed Handgun License

“Faith can move mountains.”

-Faith’s Lazy Little Brother

“There’s something about a woman

“With a loud mind

“Who sits in silence, smiling

“Knowing she can crush you

“With the truth.”

-Some hoe, probably

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Things No One Has Ever Said In The History Of Everything

“My wife needs more pillows.”

“That mullet looks great!”

“Soccer’s exciting.”

“The world needs more hate.”

“Pink armpit hair’s hot.”

“I got a job with my arts degree.”

“I wish that I had gotten caught.”

“I really, super don’t have to pee.”

“I really hate inner tubes.”

“That was a great United flight.”

“She’d look better with smaller boobs.”

“The valedictorian’s getting laid tonight!”

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Size Matters

Bigger is better in terms of pianos,

4×4’s, salaries, and dicks.

But smaller is better in the eyes of go-getters

When it comes to the waist size of chicks.

——————————————————–

Bigger is better, the man would insist

When it comes to masculine stuff

Because those said men have never had things

That were, in our eyes, big enough.

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Oligarchy Elementary Is Accepting New Students

I beg your pardon

For I mean to yap at thee

My case for nonconsensual

Reallocation of apathy,

For were we to allow

Our youth to expand

Their range of beliefs

We’d soon lose command

Of the best and the brightest

And the dullards alike.

Though the latter don’t argue

The former’d take a hike

And should free-thinkers see

All the ways we have lied…

Well, that is a notion

We must not abide.

Thus we must imprison

(At least to an extent)

Those who’ve not yet reached

The age of consent

And proceed to tell them

Facts they will ignore

To distract from the world

That they long to explore.

We’ll teach them arithmetic,

Reading, and writing

But most of all that

There is no need for fighting

For if each one resisted

Each oppressive foe

Then our script would be flipped

We, the high, become low.

Thus state education

In all things miscellaneous

Shall ensure that our underlings

Are not extemporaneous.

Thus closes my pitch

For public education.

We overlords live

Thanks to school’s misdirection.

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Don’t Piss Off A Nurse

If one’s life relies upon

The lungs of an automaton

Prudence dictates to be couth

With the medical attendant youth.

Everything can be made worse

When dealing with a jilted nurse

So to those on life support:

Life’s long unless your temper’s short.

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All The Credit To You!

It took almost six whole years

But this blog has made it’s mark.

One-thousand and five subscribers

Have felt TDT’s spark.

It proves, with dedication,

Anyone can win it:

I did in 69 months

What a bikini-clad person does in minutes!

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40 Virgins Is A Better Incentive… Just Saying

They mentioned becoming Jewish.

They said I ought and should.

Then the bris and lack of bacon came up

And Hell started to sound real good.

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