“Why do we need to do things
“When AI can just do them better?”
Dear sir, your robot girlfriend is waiting;
You just need to go out and get her.
Tag Archives: Life
80/20 Stress Reduction
Some people hold heavy burdens
Like life and death decisions,
Billion-dollar investments,
And performing circumcisions.
Other people make choices
Like pooping now or waiting ‘til home,
Which player to start on their fantasy team,
Or which hat color’s best for a gnome.
Both of these groups feel pressure
And both stresses are equally true
But if you’re in the second group, here:
It’s wait, Josh Allen, and blue.
Filed under Poems
The “Reality Is A Simulation” Theory Just Got An October Update
What if the zombie apocalypse happened
And humans have already died
And we’re all undead, but inside our heads
Reality’s fully denied
And we go on thinking “this burger is yummy”
When really we’re eating a brain?
It may not be true but, between me and you,
It’s a thought I just might entertain…
Filed under Poems
Character Creation
What if everything’s human
But in all shapes and sizes
With different colors and textures
And numbers of eyes-es
And we are the luckies
Who were born kinda pasty,
Good at thinking and crying
But not very tasty?
Filed under Poems
Flossing
If your gums don’t bleed
You aren’t pressing hard enough.
Do it every night.
Filed under Poems
Unfortunately It Requires Planning And Discipline, And Doesn’t Taste Like Pumpkin Spice
Imagine if there were a coffee
That energized you twice as well
And was also completely free…
Sounds like an easy sell!
I have such a solution for you
If my secret you can keep:
My secret coffee replacement brew
Is called “eight hours of sleep”.
Filed under Poems
Not All Similes Are Created Equal
Life is like an avocado
In the metaphorical sense that it’s
Kinda bumpy on the surface
And, if you go deep, it’s the pits,
It’s got a bunch of healthy fat
And more phosphorous than you’d expect
And probably lots of other dots
ThatI’ve yet to connect.
Filed under Poems
But If You Order Now, You Can Get Both!
If you have a form of ‘tism
It may be a blessing or flaw
Depending on whether its “nepo”
Or more on the spectrum of “au”.
Filed under Poems
