*Grunt of Approval*

If I could be a goblin

A gremlin or a ghoul

I’d go to sleep at 3:00 AM

And never go to school.

I’d eat pancakes every day.

I’d be my own boss.

If I were a monster then

I might forget to floss.

My room would be all messy.

My hair would be a wreck.

I’d spend the morning mini-golfing

With the live-action cast of Shrek.

And then I’d murder someone

And get slaughtered by a knight.

Sure, I could be a goblin

But right now my life’s alright.