Don’t blame me for staying inside.
It isn’t an attempt to hide.
I’m not opposed to wind or sleet,
Nor do I have tired feet.
I’m not a hermit. I have friends
And ways of meeting all the ends.
I’m neither strange nor bizarre
If I’d rather not go to a bar.
I have my needs (I am a guy).
A wife would be great, but I’ve got Wi-Fi.
I don’t stay in ’cause I’m afraid
Of getting shot or not getting laid.
I stay inside because out there
People laugh about my hair.
The Daily Travesty 