Have you ever climbed a tree
Just to see what you could see,
And found halfway up that big-leaf maple
You’d climbed as high as you were able,
Then to your horror and surprise,
You looked down and realize
You’ve climbed too high to climb back down
And beneath you is a bear, all strong and brown?
And so you sit for an hour, then two
Hoping that the bear will shoo.
This may or may not have happened to me,
But either way, I’m not climbing that tree.
Filed under Poems
Someone once asked, “What would be more dangerous: Slapping a bear on the face, or slapping an elk on the chest?” May this poem be your answer.
If you slap a bear across the face
It will probably break your bones.
It will maul you, bruise you, make you bleed,
And smash your freakin’ phone!
But if you slap an elk across the chest
It will more than end your life,
‘Cause that elk knows where you live,
And he’ll kidnap your wife.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 