Tag Archives: Death

Male Black Widow Problems

Today is Friday night.

I’m with my darling wife.

We’re gonna have some crazy sex

‘Cause I am done with life.

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No Problem Officer… I Handled It

There once was a spider in my room

That met a most violent doom.

Other spiders said “Yahoo!

“Let’s all go there too!”

And that’s why my shotgun went boom.

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Why Ghosts Are Angry

Greg had no reason to live anymore

So he bought a rope and locked the door

And made a new necklace he tied to the roof

And fell to his death without uttering “oof.”

He opened his eyes and he looked all around

And saw his cadaver and angrily frowned;

Yes, he succeeded in becoming dead

But now he’s a ghost, and immortal instead.

Worse, now the tourists come hither and yon

For signs of the ghost of Greg, who is gone.

He’ll wail and shriek and pray for some help

But the tourists just cheer and write “Five stars” on Yelp.

If its deserved or not, no one can tell

But Greg lives forever in introvert Hell.

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Remembering Amy

It doesn’t feel like a weight

But absence of a lightness;

Hours of Summer all around

And still the day lacks brightness.

A patch of graying sunlight shines

Where once there sat a friend;

I smile at it with broken lips,

And think about her end.

Scratches on the furniture

Once hidden I reveal;

I empty out the litterbox

And her uneaten meal.

I stand beside her scratching post

Without the words to say

The thanks, the pain, the memories,

And so instead I pray.

It doesn’t feel like relief

When I can breathe once more;

It isn’t warm when sunlight gray

Turns orange just like before.

But as a friend who made me smile

Returns to dust again

Her spirit naps within me

As it always has. Amen.

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Preservation of Mass

You were the light of their life,

A celestial body just for them,

But there were a billion stars

Brighter than you.

Your heart was a mountain,

Climbing to the sky,

But roads need gravel

And miners need jobs.

You were the wind and the water,

The rabbit and the fox,

The fish and the hook

And you fed them for a day.

Stars burn out,

Roads are passed by,

Winds stop blowing,

Foxes stop chasing,

And when its dark and still

And you forget what you were,

How you burned and grew

And bit and blew,

You’ll become a part of the world

You thought you were above;

A spark, a stone, a cell, a drop,

What you always were

And always did:

Matter.

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So Many Despots Just Picked The Wrong Demographic…

If you want to have world peace

And have all wars be ended

All you need to do is kill

The folks who get offended

Because if no one ever

Is upset by what gets said

No one will think, “That’s mean

“And so let’s make that person dead.”

Instead the only people

Still alive can speak their mind

And no one says “Let’s murder them

“‘Cause they mocked my behind.”

We’d live in perfect harmony

In lands of dance and song,

And if such genocide offends you

Then I dare you: Prove me wrong.

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Then I Gave Death the “Come Hither” Look…

Whenever death may lurk nearby

And threaten you with pain

Know that if the threat is true

You’ll never watch a debate again…

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Even Imminent Death Has Standards

I like you

Like a hairdryer loves a bath,

Like an ax loves a tree,

Like GPAs love math,

Like Clintons love snitches,

Like Windows likes working,

But I still think it’s weird

Netflix likes children twerking.

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Too Old

When I am too old to dream,

My mouth too old to smile,

I’ll place my hand upon the land

And feel the Earth a while.

Upon my skin, too loose to shape,

I’ll feel the critters crawl,

Relearning birth through mother Earth

And joy in being small.

I’ll feel the weeds begin to grow

O’er feet too slow to flee

And feel at peace as I release

What I mistook as me.

I’ll look upon my old abode

With eyes I’ve never known,

Then look on all that dared to crawl

And all that’s ever flown,

To use the sight I once ignored

Or else dismissed in haste

And understand ’twas not my hand

On which the insects paced,

‘Twas not my flesh I left behind,

‘Twas not my body gone,

But merely tools to comfort fools

Before their moving on.

When I am both too old to dream

And old enough to go

I’ll make my lair in everywhere

Until you say hello.

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Watch Yourself

Please keep the word mum

‘Cause I did something dumb:

I ordered a clock.

Now at my door, a knock!

I fear my time has come…

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