Tag Archives: Death

Old Habits Never Die

She killed a man in April.

By May she was convicted.

The day of her execution came;

Her heart, it was conflicted.

The guard came to her cell

And asked what her last meal would be.

She said “I don’t know. What do you want?”

#ReasonsForTheDeathPenalty

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Let Life End As It Began

I want to die of an orgasm.

It’s a death that would leave me content

And the folks at my wake

Would say “for goodness’ sake

“That poet, he came and he went.”

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Death: A Children’s Book

🤕

This is Stan.

Stan is dead.

Stan’s dead ’cause he hit his head.

😢

When you hit your head you cry

And sometimes you, like Stan, will die

👻

But if you don’t, don’t feel blue…

There are other ways to quit life too!

😷

You can die from a disease

Passed on by friends or mice or fleas.

🤑🎆

You can be killed by overwork

Or even by a firework!

🤡

A clown can kill you at a fair

(Though I’ll admit that’s rather rare)

🦘

Or you can die by kangaroo

(Though I’ll admit that that’s rare too).

❤️

Most folks die of heart disease

From not eating their broccolis.

♋️

Cancer kills a lot of folks

And it’s the butt of many jokes.

💯

Everybody’s going to die

But there’s no need for you to cry,

😤

But if you keep crying soon you can

Meet our head wound idol, Stan!

🤕

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War Isn’t So Bad…

We’ve walked among some Autumn glades

Just us and the wind from the helicopter blades.

Falling gently to the ground

Are a leaf and some limbs and an M16 round.

A quaint little creek

Glitters bright mountain green

And, despite all our blood,

Is still cool fresh and clean.

We came here to camp,

Found these meadows to walk,

Because some old men

Wouldn’t sit down and talk,

But we can take solace

And our hearts can still sing

All thanks to the peace

That our murder will bring.

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Don’t Piss Off A Nurse

If one’s life relies upon

The lungs of an automaton

Prudence dictates to be couth

With the medical attendant youth.

Everything can be made worse

When dealing with a jilted nurse

So to those on life support:

Life’s long unless your temper’s short.

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Texas Nursery Rhymes

The itsy-bitsy spider

Climbed up the water spout.

Down came the fist!

It’s guts went spilling out.

Out came the kleenex

To wipe the guts away

And the not-so-puny human

Just went on with his day.

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Harps Aren’t Free, You Know!

I awake from endless slumber

Beside a river I don’t know

Where a luminous boat is waiting

For one willing to row.

We pass through crystal mountains

And forests made of glass

While the water sings serenely

As through it my oars pass.

I see the Lord of Heaven

And His splendor makes me whole.

Then I watch a 30-second ad

For the brand new Kia Soul.

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