I wanted to play hockey
And be like a Canuck.
I settled for air hockey
But I didn’t have a puck.
A lot of you tuned out of the story
Because the last rhyme might be (from the record struck)
And for those of you who think that
Too bad! You’re out of luck.
(Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk)
Filed under Poems
This poem is like
A blue-footed booby:
It makes some people laugh
And won’t have any significant impact on your life…
Shadooby.
Filed under Poems
If birds ate at restaurants
I imagine KFC
Would be a lot more popular.
The reason might just be
That folks would eat at restaurants
Where birds would frequent less.
You might think that’s racist
But that’s my fairest guess.
Filed under Poems
If you grew a six-foot long beard
You’d probably think it was weird
But after a while
You’d probably smile
And think “This ain’t as bad as I feared.”
And if a six-foot beard grew you
It would not know what to do
Because shaving’s a pain
And beards don’t have a brain.
These dilemmas are why I’m not a jew.
Filed under Poems
If you took the Bible
And replaced the words “Mommy, look!”
With “I like to eat babies”
You’d have the very same book.
The same can be said for “Croissant,”
And “Wherefore art thou Juliet.”
I find it quite surprising
No one’s written a thesis on this yet.
Filed under Poems
Being human is great
But the best thing to be
Reincarnated as
(According to me)
Is the inside part
Of the roof of a home
‘Cause you aren’t at all sentient
And people leave you alone.
Filed under Poems
