Tag Archives: Random

Any Time An “…Uck” Word Falls Into The Rhyme Scheme

I wanted to play hockey

And be like a Canuck.

I settled for air hockey

But I didn’t have a puck.

A lot of you tuned out of the story

Because the last rhyme might be (from the record struck)

And for those of you who think that

Too bad! You’re out of luck.

(Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk)

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100% True

This poem is like

A blue-footed booby:

It makes some people laugh

And won’t have any significant impact on your life…

Shadooby.

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What Fruits The Idle Mind Hath Yielded This Morn

If birds ate at restaurants

I imagine KFC

Would be a lot more popular.

The reason might just be

That folks would eat at restaurants

Where birds would frequent less.

You might think that’s racist

But that’s my fairest guess.

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When You Should Have Stopped After The First Weird Limerick

If you grew a six-foot long beard

You’d probably think it was weird

But after a while

You’d probably smile

And think “This ain’t as bad as I feared.”

And if a six-foot beard grew you

It would not know what to do

Because shaving’s a pain

And beards don’t have a brain.

These dilemmas are why I’m not a jew.

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Yet We Know All About Sea Cucumber Reproduction…

If you took the Bible

And replaced the words “Mommy, look!”

With “I like to eat babies”

You’d have the very same book.

The same can be said for “Croissant,”

And “Wherefore art thou Juliet.”

I find it quite surprising

No one’s written a thesis on this yet.

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When Your Eternal Soul Is An Introvert

Being human is great

But the best thing to be

Reincarnated as

(According to me)

Is the inside part

Of the roof of a home

‘Cause you aren’t at all sentient

And people leave you alone.

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Toes

There aren’t very many

Who do not have any.

There’s a few who have fewer than ten.

But if you meet the ten-plussers

Who seem proud and aren’t fussers

They are almost certainly men.

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