Tag Archives: Random

Making Your Mind Up

The stuff that makes wine

May grow on a vine;

The stuff that makes mead

Is what the bees need;

The stuff that makes leeches

Can be found on beaches;

But what makes my mind go

No one ever will know.

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Versatility 101

“There’s no such thing as magic”

Is what the stranger said,

So I dropped the pulsing rainbow orb

And hit him with a pan instead.

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Halloween Eve And Christmas Eve Are Not The Same

Tomorrow we’ll dress up

And take candy from strangers

Then listen to music

About Santa and mangers

But tonight we’ll eat ice cream

And go to Ikea

And buy toilet paper

For Tuesday’s diarrhea.

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Green Power Meets Greek Power

A giant electric windmill met Sisyphus

And asked, “Do you like music, man?”

Sisyphus said, “Anything but rock and roll.”

The turbine said, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Apparently “Oline” Makes Things Less Amusing

God has a sense of humor.

Ask me how I know!

I see proof in everything,

Like how the falling snow

Looks like the Millennium Falcon

Even before it was a thing,

Or how when we eat too much

Our butts spontaneously sing.

I like that sense of humor,

But one thing I don’t find funny

Is how, when I fart, my gas is free

But I still pay for gas with money.

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And You Thought They Just Slept A Lot And Licked Themselves!

Nobody knows the journey of a cat:

Where they go or what they do,

What secret groves within they sat

Or fearsome vermin that they slew.

No one knows the lives they’ve saved

And the worlds they lost in vain.

Such is the mystery of the cat;

Both majesty and pain.

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Type A Vs. Type Hey!

Some people spend their lives

Trying hard to do things right,

Making perfectly circular pizzas

And working through the night.

Other people live their lives

By doing what is fun

Though the pizza ends up looking

Like art the family dog has done.

Perfectionists unite, I say

And make the rocket ships

While the do-it-my-way folks

Make new flavors for the chips.

The harmony is perfect

Though perfectionists will glare

Because the have-some-funners

Smile back without a care.

But if the pizza’s spherical

Instead of round and flat

Take a bite: It tastes all right

And you’re the first to make it that!

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You Kinda Have To Read This Aloud…

Some art is low, and some is high;

You can judge which this one is:.

There was a smart guy

And this story is his:

He was a smart fellow

And he felt smart

But that isn’t yet the funny part…

See two smart fellows,

They felt smart

And that is just the very start.

Repeat with three, then four smart fellows

‘Til your enunciation mellows

And then… perhaps we’ll see, who knows…

A reason smart fellows can crinkle their nose.

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It’s Not Funny At All Until You Read It Out Loud, Out Of Context, To Your Friends

Toses ate ted

Violets ate blue.

Appatently changing a lettet

Makes things hungty, ctew!

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I Get It, I Am It, But It Is Done Unto Me

This morning as I wandered

Through the hallways of my mind

With hopes that I would stumble on

Something of an inspiring kind

I realized quite suddenly

That I had been so dense

As to never realize “Naked”

Was a verb in the past-tense.

I realize all this time

That I don’t ever nake,

But allow it to be done to me

When I go in a lake

Or when ai take a shower…

Yes, I always get naked

But never do I nake myself

Before I go to bed.

I’ve never dreamed of naking,

But I’ve dreamed of naking others.

A child can undress itself

But isn’t naked by mothers.

In fact it seems the only one

Who nakes remains unseen,

And I wonder if the Naker

Is new, or has always been…

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