The stuff that makes wine
May grow on a vine;
The stuff that makes mead
Is what the bees need;
The stuff that makes leeches
Can be found on beaches;
But what makes my mind go
No one ever will know.
Tag Archives: Random
Versatility 101
“There’s no such thing as magic”
Is what the stranger said,
So I dropped the pulsing rainbow orb
And hit him with a pan instead.
Filed under Poems
Halloween Eve And Christmas Eve Are Not The Same
Tomorrow we’ll dress up
And take candy from strangers
Then listen to music
About Santa and mangers
But tonight we’ll eat ice cream
And go to Ikea
And buy toilet paper
For Tuesday’s diarrhea.
Filed under Poems
Green Power Meets Greek Power
A giant electric windmill met Sisyphus
And asked, “Do you like music, man?”
Sisyphus said, “Anything but rock and roll.”
The turbine said, “I’m a big metal fan.”
Filed under Poems
Apparently “Oline” Makes Things Less Amusing
God has a sense of humor.
Ask me how I know!
I see proof in everything,
Like how the falling snow
Looks like the Millennium Falcon
Even before it was a thing,
Or how when we eat too much
Our butts spontaneously sing.
I like that sense of humor,
But one thing I don’t find funny
Is how, when I fart, my gas is free
But I still pay for gas with money.
Filed under Poems
And You Thought They Just Slept A Lot And Licked Themselves!
Nobody knows the journey of a cat:
Where they go or what they do,
What secret groves within they sat
Or fearsome vermin that they slew.
No one knows the lives they’ve saved
And the worlds they lost in vain.
Such is the mystery of the cat;
Both majesty and pain.
Filed under Poems
Type A Vs. Type Hey!
Some people spend their lives
Trying hard to do things right,
Making perfectly circular pizzas
And working through the night.
Other people live their lives
By doing what is fun
Though the pizza ends up looking
Like art the family dog has done.
Perfectionists unite, I say
And make the rocket ships
While the do-it-my-way folks
Make new flavors for the chips.
The harmony is perfect
Though perfectionists will glare
Because the have-some-funners
Smile back without a care.
But if the pizza’s spherical
Instead of round and flat
Take a bite: It tastes all right
And you’re the first to make it that!
Filed under Poems
You Kinda Have To Read This Aloud…
Some art is low, and some is high;
You can judge which this one is:.
There was a smart guy
And this story is his:
He was a smart fellow
And he felt smart
But that isn’t yet the funny part…
See two smart fellows,
They felt smart
And that is just the very start.
Repeat with three, then four smart fellows
‘Til your enunciation mellows
And then… perhaps we’ll see, who knows…
A reason smart fellows can crinkle their nose.
Filed under Poems
It’s Not Funny At All Until You Read It Out Loud, Out Of Context, To Your Friends
Toses ate ted
Violets ate blue.
Appatently changing a lettet
Makes things hungty, ctew!
Filed under Poems
I Get It, I Am It, But It Is Done Unto Me
This morning as I wandered
Through the hallways of my mind
With hopes that I would stumble on
Something of an inspiring kind
I realized quite suddenly
That I had been so dense
As to never realize “Naked”
Was a verb in the past-tense.
I realize all this time
That I don’t ever nake,
But allow it to be done to me
When I go in a lake
Or when ai take a shower…
Yes, I always get naked
But never do I nake myself
Before I go to bed.
I’ve never dreamed of naking,
But I’ve dreamed of naking others.
A child can undress itself
But isn’t naked by mothers.
In fact it seems the only one
Who nakes remains unseen,
And I wonder if the Naker
Is new, or has always been…
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 