Tag Archives: Random

Dr. Seuss Beware!

There was a skunk named Dink

Who didn’t stink,

Which, at least for Dink, stank.

He played at skunk school

But smelled really cool

And thus his social standing sank.

They flunked the poor skunk

And he packed up his trunk.

He greatly disliked the school’s thinking,

But he too understood

Skunks can’t be what they should

If said skunks stunk like Dink did at stinking.

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The Agonies And TheEcstasies Of Being An Extremely Niche Web Celebrity

Nickelback called me

To let me know

They wrote a song

Inspired by my life.

Part of me feels

Honored by their intention,

But I’ll never listen to the song

Which should save me some strife.

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And The Bells Did Not Chime That Morning

I won’t give you the time of day

‘Cause, of the clock, I’m in the way.

(This line’s just setting up the final rhyme).

You’re the morning-bells’s knocker,

And you’d call me a clock-blocker

Except, of course, you haven’t got the time.

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The Personified Double-Negative

Tyrants will be tyrants.

Braggarts will be braggarts.

These statements are self-evident

And fear no refutation.

Logicians will be logical.

Artists will be artistic.

So do or do not contrarians

Deserve their reputation?

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Onomatopoeia

There are certain words

That are written like they sound

Life “oof” and “pow” and “shimmer.”

They really do abound.

Then there are things that make no sound

Like plants and orange and schisms

Which would make great onomatapoeias.

That’s the case with “colloquialisms.”

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Seriously, Just Don’t! It Takes A Certain Charisma And/Or Unusual Size

Why must titans always clash?

Why can’t they just get along?

Titans could have tea and cake.

What about that is so wrong?

Why must titans always fight?

There’s other things for them to do

Like fly a pretty titan kite,

Play titan games, or make a stew.

If you’re a titan reading this

En route to your next clashing spot

Please know that you are not defined

By your ability to crush a big robot.

And if you’re a non-titan bloke

Just casually reading ’cause you’re bored

Don’t try to unclash titans too

‘Cause most likely you’ll just be ignored.

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Or I Could Be A Colonel

I don’t want to be a gastroenterologist.

As a career I vehemently denounce it,

But should fate make me a gastroenterologist

I guess at least I’d learn how to pronounce it.

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