I started out with aspirin
To dull some of the pain,
Then NyQuil, DayQuil, and vitamin C
To make the sickness wane.
Then I tried garlic, cloves and sage,
Parsley, rosemary, and thyme.
I danced in the rain and howled
And put coconut into my lime.
At the start of the fifth day
A unicorn brought me viagra
And a bottle of water that, I was told,
Came straight from the falls of Niagara.
I hope I feel much better.
I deserve it, Heaven knows.
On the other hand, if I should die
I’ll never decompose.
(Thanks for bearing with me through all of the sickness poems. I want them to stop just as much as you).
The Daily Travesty 