Plan A didn’t work,
Nor did B, C, or D.
And as plan X fails,
I think “Maybe it’s me?”
Plan Y is a dud,
And so is plan Z.
So I try plan A again,
Saying “Nah, couldn’t be.”
Plan A didn’t work,
Nor did B, C, or D.
And as plan X fails,
I think “Maybe it’s me?”
Plan Y is a dud,
And so is plan Z.
So I try plan A again,
Saying “Nah, couldn’t be.”
Filed under Poems
You were a frumpy lady
In K-Mart head to toe,
But somewhere in your mind
My wallet said “Yolo.”
And thus began your journey
To your new, expensive self
Hoping to find happiness
On some designer’s shelf.
When my first check bounced
On the 23rd of June
I realized the price of your disguise
And howled to the moon,
‘Cause that two-hundred dollar t-shirt
And ten-thousand dollar sack,
Along with ninety pairs of shoes
Bought the shirt right off my back.
And to the lawyers who’ve been listening
I think you really oughta
Make sure she pays the alimony,
Even if it’s paid in Prada.
Filed under Poems