The Grander Slam

When my old buddy Steig
Joined the baseball league
I knew, although fatter,
I was the better batter.

So when he batted number one
And hit a home run
I didn’t give a damn,
And I hit a grand slam.

But Steig, I won’t lie,
He’s a competitive guy.
How can a guy like me save face
When Steig hit a grand slam with no runners on base?