I’m not the best looking fellow.
I’ve never had a tan,
I’ve got under five pounds of muscle
And I drive a Volkswagen Van.
So I took a flight to Hawaii
To the beaches of Mauna Loa.
I got sunburned, but I found a buddy:
The enigmatic Feathered Boa.
As far as snakes go he was friendly
And he reworked my wardrobe from scratch.
He buffed me and tweezed me and did other things
That no human esthetician could match.
So thanks boss for seeing I’m different,
But I can’t comply with your request.
All my patients know that this boa’s for show
And as brain surgeons go, I’m the best.