Twenty-five percent at breakfast,
And again for lunch and dinner.
It’s come as no surprise
That I am getting thinner.
Five dollars to the bus driver,
Ten dollars for the maid,
A fifty dollar dinner
If I’m wanting to get laid.
I’d tip my chiropractor,
But that isn’t apropos.
Sometimes I tip a homeless guy
I do not even know.
As you can see, I am
A very easy tipper.
Here’s a buck for reminding me
To examine my zipper.
The Daily Travesty 