Tag Archives: Money

Monopoly

You all begin by passing “go,”

But who will win we don’t yet know.

You buy land with childish glee

Wherever two dice should decree.

This play continues for a while

And all the players wear a smile

Until the property is bought.

Then the game changes a lot.

Instead of paying endless rent

It pays to be of criminal bent

And spend a couple turns in jail

Before you pay a $50 bail.

But at this point the odds are high

That you know who is the guy

Who’ll win the game when all is done.

At this point it’s no longer fun.

But do you stop when joy is gone?

No! No! No! You carry on!

When bankrupt are the car and shoe,

The thimble’s dead and so are you

So ends the game, and that is when

The winner says “Let’s play again!”

Then you and the losers, at your behest

Punch the winner in his community chest.

Through the pain he says “Tsk, tsk.

“Then how about a game of Risk?”

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The Analogy Is Actually Kinda Perfect

America is like Halo:

It started out with violence

And an independent spirit

Fighting an immortal empire

Who knew well that we’d fear it.

Then the beloved sequel came

And we gave up the slaves we stole,

Fought a battle on both sides

To forge our true united soul.

Then came history’s “Halo 3”

Which was forgettable all in all,

Clearly not its glorious peak

But it hadn’t hit the wall.

When the Vietnam years came

Thus started Halo 4

Where we spat on our own soldiers

Drafted into pointless war.

Now here we are in Halo 5

Where profit is the king,

Equality is an afterthought

And everything’s covered in bling.

We who love the franchise past,

The Halo 1’s and 2’s

Who love America in spirit

Not America in the news

Look hopefully at the future

While feeling kind of vexed

Wondering what the powers that be

Will inevitably screw up next.

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The Flavor Of “Winning”

For a moment I sat there

With blood on my hands

Smearing life on my white-bread toast

In a room all alone

With inanimate friends

In a halfway house built for a ghost.

My Ferrari was mired

In a 90-hour week

When I needed just 12 to survive

But I’d long since stopped living

For the privilege of being

Among the elite few who can thrive.

The child in the basement

Was calling for daddy

‘Til its fat little throat had gone raw

And yet I was too busy

Helping others to join me

To notice my life had a flaw.

But if I’d payed attention,

Tasted a tomato

Or felt a moth land in my hair,

Just walked outside barefoot

Or put salt in my coffee

I’d realize somehow I still care.

I care about family.

I care about freedom.

I don’t need this bottle and pill.

And maybe that baby

Will say “taste the tomato”

And if I haven’t yet died then I will.

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The Vanishing Glass

They can trap us in their zoo

Behind their walls of glass

And teach us social boundaries

That we’re not allowed to pass,

Feed us just enough bad news

To keep our anger stoked

So we don’t see the sedatives

With which we’re being poked.

We the livestock draw the crowds

Of wealthy and elected

Whose power cries more loudly

Than the souls they have neglected.

They say they’ll cure our poverty

If they can have their way

Then toast with million dollar wine

And fly their jets away.

We watch the birds who fly outside

This zoo we somehow cherish.

We think that if we join them

We would starve or freeze or perish,

Yet the glass is not unbreakable

In our patron’s steel zoo.

Some of us still crave the sky

And so I ask: Do you?

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Pokemon: When A Binder Becomes A Portfolio

He wanted to be the very best

Like no one ever was.

He played the games and bought the cards.

His reasoning? “Just ’cause.”

Now he travels across the land

Rich and fancy free

Because he sold old merchandise

To folks like you and me.

It took some courage along the way

To claim his rightful place;

His base set boosters unopened still

By some amazing grace

Kept up in value as time went on.

The prices didn’t fall

Because of middle class ’90s kids

Who had to catch ’em all.

And so for all the neopets

Forgotten in the cloud,

The baseball rookies who faded out,

The fads without a crowd

There rose among them a modern god,

Electric mouse and friends

That makes you money enough to buy

The very world we must defend.

That’s why I’m buying at Toys R Us

Instead of buying stock.

Who know what franchise will soon become

The next Pokémon or pet rock?

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Dating A CEO

I did some ideation

On the topic “you and me”

And I want to move the needle

To upgrade our synergy.

I figured I would reach out

And shift your paradigm

To show how being in my wheelhouse

Is an impactful use of time.

So let’s break through the clutter

Via disruptive innovation

And prepare mind share initiatives

Through casual conversation

And I hope that going forward

Thanks to holistic execution

This relationship of ours

Will have a win-win resolution!

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Monopoly Ends

It’s half an hour to midnight

As the car runs out of gas.

The hat succumbs to the weather.

The little dog treats me like a cat.

My will is like an iron

As I walk in metal shoes

Towards the hotel of my rivals

And I know I’m bound to lose.

No change, though hours are passing

At the boardwalk by the park.

A steamship carrying wheelbarrows

Passes silent in the dark.

And as I spend my last coin

At the railroad B&O

I look at my thimble overlord,

Roll doubles thrice and to jail I go.

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