Trading life for cash
Is a virtue unless you
Have wealthy parents.
Tag Archives: Money
Poet By Day, Used Car Salesman By Afternoon (I Spend My Nights Crying)
I had a first edition Charizard
That I sold for five bucks.
I had a chance to buy Bitcoin
When folks said it sucks.
So when I sell you my Honda
With a hole in the door
Remember the price trends
Of what I’ve sold before.
Filed under Poems
It Sounds Latin, So That’s A Bonus
If you purchased a domain name
And nobody impeded it
You could sell it for a fortune
To a company who needed it.
Just think of things like X.com
MySpace, Roflol, or MAGA;
If you owned any of those sites
You could earn a big old bagga
Cash. So I propose to you
The greatest oversight
That could make you a millionaire
Potentially overnight:
There is a thriving industry
For the friend of Harry and Tom…
I suggest someone should purchase
DickusEnlargicus.com
Filed under Poems
Why Don’t YouWant To Grow Up And Get A Job?
Bob works on an oil rig
And thinks it’s a real nice gig
Despite the never being warm,
Likelihood of death, and unending storm.
Jane sell pictures of her feet
And also thinks it’s real neat.
She’s richer than Bob, but feels depressed
Because she’s historically oppressed.
Meanwhile, Greg’s a CEO.
What does he do? How should I know?
But I know he lives much like a royal
With abundant feet pics and plenty of oil.
Filed under Poems
Take That, Inspirational Posters!
They say money can’t buy happiness
And maybe they are right
But money can buy spiders
That you can give people out of spite
And spiteful spider-giving
Puts a smile on my face
When I put those “money can’t buy” people
In their rightful place.
Filed under Poems
Financial Planning 101
All you have to do to be rich
Is take a home equity loan
Then invest in a diversified index fund
With an interest rate that makes you moan
Then wait thirty years as the market grows
And you’ll be in billionaire bliss!
That or just be good looking
And divorce someone who did this.
Filed under Poems
Congressional Privilege
So we can’t pay employees
Who keep on working hard
Despite a shut-down government
With a maxed-out credit card
And yet we pay the people
Who got us in this mess
With money that we do not have?
‘Murica, I guess…
Filed under Poems
Dream Jobs
The zookeeper likes animals
But ends up shoveling poo.
The librarian likes books
But tells the homeless people “shoo”.
The teacher wants to help kids
But the principal says no.
The customer service rep
Ran out of dreams three shifts ago.
Meanwhile, in my living room
I turn my camera off on Zoom
And watch Youtube while bosses talk
Of how to raise the price of stock.
Filed under Poems
Share This With Anyone Who Disses Your Business Idea
Styrofoam peanuts
Plus some sugar and orange paint:
Still in business how?
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 