Tag Archives: Money

A Six-Figure Sense Of Humor

She offered me a sandwich

And I said “Thank you dear.”

She sighed and asked “What would you do

“If I were to disappear?”

I said “I’d eat steak every day

“And be left with much more money.”

She scowled, so I bought her jewelry

And now she thinks I’m funny.

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When You Trade Favors For Food Stamps

I tried to find a sugar momma

But nobody has money in da hood.

I settled for a sweet ‘n low cousin

And I’m her splenda baby. It’s all good.

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Life’s Hard Questions

If you gave a guy from Zimbabwe

A billion dollars cash

He could buy a whole lot of cattle

And a man with a lot of cattle is rich,

But if you give an American guy

A billion dollars worth of cattle

He can send his enemies cow poop

For the rest of his life,

So who’s the real winner?

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This Goes For Taxes As Well, Except A Mugger Might Use The Money For Something Valuable

If you get mugged in central park

And think it isn’t fair

Just call it a “mandatory donation

“To ensuring criminal welfare.”

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Sorry Europe, South America, And Basically Everywhere Else, But You Have Terrible Taste

There’s an argument in the USA

About soccer teams and equal pay

‘Cause men got paid more overall

Despite the women winning all the way.

The other side of this tirade

Says the male players are underpaid

Because the revenue their team produced

Was 55 times more than the women’s team made.

Now how revenue or standings weigh

On the importance scale I can’t say.

The real question is, in 2019,

Why won’t this stupid sport just go away?

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They Just Did It

Nike pays their workers

About sixteen dollars a week for

Them to work 80 hours

Making a pricey brand-name sneaker

(That’s twenty cents an hour

For those with a math obsession)

But hey! They’re paying Kaepernick

To speak out against oppression.

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Another Case For Anarchy

The wealthy and the powerful

In conflict did divide

To play a game of endless war

In which the commons died

For when egos battle

And at the heart of every war:

The rich, you’ll find, will seldom mind

The dying of the poor.

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