I was taking a walk
Down route 123
When I saw you
Turn and look towards me.
As our eyes met
It was just like they said,
Like an exclamation point
Flashed over your head
And then you walked toward me
And called through the air:
“I like shorts! They’re comfy
And easy to wear.”
And then you attacked me
With your slave-monster pets.
I took all your money
And I have no regrets
Because I’m the greatest
Like no figure in lore.
That’s why you don’t
Make eye contact anymore.
The Daily Travesty 