Repeat after me:
Just because the door says push
Doesn’t mean don’t pull.
Tag Archives: Silly
When In Rome (Or The Dangers Of Conformity)
I think Italians
Must have problems with their kids
Jumping off bridges
Filed under Poems
All Milk Is Creates Equal
Think now of the vegans
And all of their ilk
Who don’t consume dairy
Like ice cream or milk
But feel no guilt
Drinking milk of the oat
Or the almond or cashew
Or soy. They emote:
“We’re saving the animals”
While the little nut babies
Must drink formula
That may just give them rabies.
So when the nuts come
And they kick down your door
And they eat your begonias
And poop on your floor
Go thank a vegan,
Those shortsighted folks
Who steal milk from young produce
And also hate jokes.
Filed under Poems
Maker Of EVERYTHING?
God is perfect, but
Counterpoint: Cilantro though…
I doth rest my case.
Filed under Poems
Not All Similes Are Created Equal
Life is like an avocado
In the metaphorical sense that it’s
Kinda bumpy on the surface
And, if you go deep, it’s the pits,
It’s got a bunch of healthy fat
And more phosphorous than you’d expect
And probably lots of other dots
ThatI’ve yet to connect.
Filed under Poems
But If You Order Now, You Can Get Both!
If you have a form of ‘tism
It may be a blessing or flaw
Depending on whether its “nepo”
Or more on the spectrum of “au”.
Filed under Poems
Christmas/Dinner
Everything is food to something
And food is a wonderful gift
So don’t think too much about presents
And embrace your omnivorous thrift.
Filed under Poems
Effort Is For Those Who Sleep
Roses are red,
My life is busy.
Good night, and may all
Of your sodas be fizzy.
Filed under Poems
…and the F-Beech-I
I have been informed
“Tree Hunger Games are not real”
By the Tree-I-A
Filed under Poems
When People Ask Why I Keep Writing
One day, organized crime
Will decide that now is the time
To launder some money
Through low art that is funny
And also just happens to rhyme.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 