Tag Archives: Silly

When I Meet One, We Will Be Soulmates

All the little animals

Of land and sea and air

Sought to find a one true love,

Their one and only pair.

The birds and bees, the cats and dogs,

The frogs and toads were one;

The hare and tortoise, horse and fly

Paired up and all was done.

Alas, when pairing finished

The axolotl was alone

Because instead of socializing

It wrote poems on its phone.

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True Love, 2022

Upon the sofa down we sat,

Eating ice cream, happy, fat,

Eyes on the TV, wearing no pants:

This is my ideal of romance!

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It’s My Birthday, So You HAVE To Like The Post

Today is the day if my birth,

When I first breathed the air of the Earth.

Because of my exodus

From my mom’s uterus

I now create poems with mirth.

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Garden My Turf, Yo

If I were a young urban strawberry

Whose life on the streets turned to robbery

You might think my booty

Would be stabby or shooty

But nope! My violence is clobbery.

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NEVER End A Line With “Buck”

Another evening passes

Like methane from our asses,

Like the motorist that passes

Bicyclists, slow as molasses.

It passes like a buck

And the fact that I wrote buck

Means I’ll spare you from future rhymes

Because you already get the analogy.

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Divorce, The Old-Fashioned Way

If I had a hundred camels

And a thousand mules

I could buy your daughter’s love

‘Cause those are the nuptial rules.

But you’d demand a thousand camels

And diamonds by the sack

If I got to know your daughter

And wanted to give her back.

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Fair Retails Before Bed

Once there was a tired gent.

To bed went he; To sleep he went.

The other folks said “Mama Mia!”

For the bed he went was in Ikea.

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If They Just Quit Posting The “No Diving” Signs, The Whole World Could Fly

One day I decided to climb a tree

So I started at the trunk

Then dug and dug through moss and dirt

Until my shovel said “thunk”.

And so I climbed on down the roots

Until I hit a molten core

And now you know who they make signs

With helpful pictures for!

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Game Niiiiiiight! *Pumps Fist And Hurts Shoulder In The Dorkiest Possible Way*

Today I was a prophetess

Who traveled with two mules

Slaying monsters o’er the realm

According to the rules.

I was struck down by a dwarf

After a clash of elder magic

Because I rolled the dice with death

And my results were tragic.

Four hours were by family spent

In quest for crown and glory.

After that, we ate pizza rolls

And thus endeth the story.

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All The Low Notes, All At Once, Fortissimo… An Unexpected Climax

Men, you probably know by now

About romantic passion,

And how the ambiance before

Takes quite a bit to fashion.

One must say the secret words

To snare a woman’s heart

And have stamina and strength enough

To delay that tempting fart.

Tonight I learned another step

That our ancestors did

That promoted procreation:

They closed the piano keyboard lid.

Alas, I lacked their wisdom

And an Earth that might have shaken

Is now not more than legend

Thanks to the route the cat has taken.

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