Tag Archives: Silly

Pimento Control Now!

He was black, surrounded by brothers,

Unarmed and defenseless

When a white man came by

To perform something senseless:

The poor black was gutted

And served on a platter

With mediterranean food.


Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Twilight Isn’t The Only Pacific Northwest Love Story

There once was a fellow from Sequim

And a gal who was quite into him

She said “I’m from Snoqualmie

“So why don’t you call me?”

This could be only in Warshington.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

How To Get Federal Unemployment Benefits

When I said “I like my coffee

“Like my women: Sweet and black.”

My coworker decided

That was a personal attack.

She called the supervisor

Just to say she was offended

And just like that I found I was,

Like Epstein’s neck, suspended.

But now my luck has turned around

And I see that I’m blessed.

I can’t be an oppressor

If I am, in fact, oppressed.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

See Also: Ant Farms

Once upon a time, some guy

Said “I know what we need!:

“A kinda boring screensaver

“We also have to feed.”

All the other townspeople

Said “That’s as good as it gets,”

And they all went out to buy themselves

Some fish to keep as pets.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems


Cookies for breakfast,

Pizza for lunch,

Twelve donuts for dinner,

But I did one crunch!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Beauty Without Photoshop

Willow, willow, don’t you weep.

Just calm upon the Earth sit.

Your loveliness has but one name:

Arb’oreal: Because you’re worth it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Why The White House Has Five Full-Time Chefs

I shouldn’t be the president

Because when I want a snack

I go to a take out restaraunt

And microwave it when I get back.

At first that won’t seem dangerous

Until my words are these:

“I’m feeling kinda hungry… hey!

“Why not nuke some Chinese?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Pyramids: Primeval Percussion Palaces

Before the phrase “More Cowbell”

Took the world by storm

Egyptians had a fever

And only could stay warm

By making a great replica

Of the instrument they’d dangle;

And they shouted in Egyptian

“I need some more triangle!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

It Rubs Me The Wrong Way, You Know?

Some people fear that God fellow.

Some people fear that Devil guy.

I fear the one who actually prefers

The toilet paper with just one ply.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Sir Alec Guinness, Ladies and Gents

There once was a guy named Obi

Whose surname was, weirdly, Kenobi.

Then this kid came along…

“Do you know Obi-Wan?”

And he was like “Of course I know me!”


There once was a trooper, unnamed,

Who sought droids with data untamed,

But Obi’s like “Pu-lease!

“You ain’t looking for these.”

Only later trooper thought “I got gamed.”


There one was a giant black guy

Who had a death star in the sky.

Obi met him one day

And was like “Ani! Hey!”

And then Obi-Wan’s like, “Guess I’ll die.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems