Silence of the Lambs
Is a favorite movie of
Many parent sheep
Tag Archives: Silly
Adjusted For Inflation
They’re remaking Monopoly
For 2026.
You start with $100k in debt
And a subscription to Netflix.
The game doesn’t last very long
‘Cause you can’t afford the rent
And instead of shoes and thimbles
You play as a bench, old car, or tent.
When you pass go you’re given
$1,000 bucks for free
But by the time you spend it
It’s worth $903.
Nobody enjoys it
But you’re mandated to play.
I’ve got a set all set up now
So prepare to be not ok!
Filed under Poems
Also, Engagement Feeds The Algorithm
Posting wrong opinions
On the internet is fun
Because you can cause outrage
That does not hurt anyone
Except those fragile people
To whom feeling offended
Is akin to the sensation
Of having one’s life ended
And, let’s be honest, people
Who are hurt by random posts
Are fun to laugh at secretly
And are targets of my toasts.
So I post this opinion
With the hope someone will read it
And share it with a sensitive friend
Whose feeble ego may just need it.
Filed under Poems
Inner City Romance (Trigger Warning: Puns)
If you’re walking down the street
And peer into the gutter
And you see a man below
And your heart goes all aflutter
Know that you are not alone
And that he feels the same
And you can shout to him “Grate Scott!”
Because that is his name.
Filed under Poems
Four Types Of People In A Trenchcoat
Some people dress up like the past
And call it a renaissance fair.
Some people dress up like the future
And call it fashion week.
Some people dress up like the present
And they’re all just sort of there…
I don’t dress at all anymore
And just hope someone takes a peek.
Filed under Poems
But Have The Standards Risen Or Lowered?
Remember when having a car
And kinda playing the guitar
Meant you were the top percent of men?
Ah, the world was good back then!
Filed under Poems
Character Creation
What if everything’s human
But in all shapes and sizes
With different colors and textures
And numbers of eyes-es
And we are the luckies
Who were born kinda pasty,
Good at thinking and crying
But not very tasty?
Filed under Poems
What I Learned In English Class
Many a novelist worked all their lives
Studying classics and ignoring their wives
To write down a tale of legend and lore
That would outdo the authors who’ve written before.
Thousands of books line the library shelves
Depicting the foibles of demons and elves
And most of these pages (perhaps even all)
Cannot grip human minds like a big rubber ball.
A book needs attention; A ball just needs love
As you smack it with hands from below and above.
You may frown a bit when a character dies
But when the ball touches ground there are zero dry eyes.
A book has beginning and middle and end
But a ball is forever, moreso than a friend.
A book may be boring, but have ye no fear
For the fun’s never done when you play with a sphere!
So authors so erudite, hear my decree:
Stop fighting for writing. Let literature be
And trade out your quill for a beach ball (or three)
And see what an adventure “no-floor-ball” can be!
Filed under Poems
Counterargument…
What if God’s a dog?
That’s why he loves everyone
And doesn’t talk much…
Filed under Poems
…ses Are Red (Oops)
I wrote nine poems yesterday,
Short they were, it’s true,
But I have willpower enough
To not write “violets are blue.”
The day will come when I compose
Ten haikus in a row
But instead today I wrote eight lines
And they end with the words, “Ro…”
Filed under Poems
