Tag Archives: Silly

The Benefits Of Not Being Tan

In a world without coyotes

And a scarcity of ginger ale

I’d take comfort in the notion

That my legs would still be pale.

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French Geography, German Efficiency

There once was a limerick from Nice

That was astonishingly concise.

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The Day God Made Africa?

And on the twenty-second day

God said “Let 99 men moisten the grass

“And the hundredth man you shall eschew”.

Even then it was widely known

That one hundred men or more

Could never dew.

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I’m Too Old For Lumps Or Finger Painting, But Maybe She’ll Hang This On Her Fridge Instead?

Today is my mother’s birthday.

Her birth did occur on this date.

In honor of her I caused this poem to occur

And published it moderately late.

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Dr. Strangelove 2, Or How The Bomb Stopped Worrying And Learned To Love Herself

I wanted to ask a guy to the prom

But alas I’m a thermonuclear bomb.

Were I to go out in a pretty pink dress

I’d make the whole world feel considerable stress

And instead of the dancing and sighing and kissing

Everyone would shout “Hey, there’s a warhead that’s missing”

And before I’d say “Chill guys, you’re all being dumb”

They’d put me back with the uranium.

And so in my bunker I cry and I dream

Of a man who will see me for more than I seem,

Who’ll sweep me away for one memorable night

Even though afterwards the world won’t be alright…

But maybe a man cannot make me complete

And instead I’ll be happy as radiant heat?

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We Don’t Play To Use Effort… That’s Just Work

I found a fun video game

That simulates many ways to die.

The designers overlooked the simple fact

That survival means I’d have to try.

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How To Be Popular

If I had breath like Godzilla

And my sneeze were a nuclear blast

I still wouldn’t like playing kickball

But at least I’d get picked before last.

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An Old-School Love Poem For The Woman Who Inspired My “Art”

Good morning Mom!

You are the bomb.

You made me exist

Before the CD Rom.

Today we shower you

With abundant aplomb.

You are the WWW

To my .com

You make delicious food

That I like to nom

And you are someone onto whom

I do like to glom.

I promise I’ll never leave you

To move away to Guam

Because I’m your favorite child

And you’re my best Mom.

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She Played Another Game With Me…

Her epic trapper spidey

Killed my supersonic bat-dragon.

Apparently the divorce is off

And we’re back to love and naggin’!

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Moral Ambiguity In The Marvel Culinary Universe

Honorable dessert, cake of courage,

Your frosting is noble, your filling is strong.

Honorable dessert, please answer me this:

Is wanting to eat you so wrong?

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