Tag Archives: Silly

BTW I’m Not Jewish

She lay beside me

Still in her white dress.

My mouth was alight in her taste.

Her skin was like russet.

Her body was slender

From tip-to-tip, straight in the waist.

She was my fantasy,

Food on my table,

Sustaining me all through the day.

So although it is weird

To put a dress on bacon

I do it ’cause she is my bae.

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Out Of Space Or Just Spacing Out?

What would happen if

You don’t pay attention to

“No Vacancy” signs?

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The Fact That I Think This Is Hilarious Is Also Hilarious… Or Is That Just Me?

If I were Chinese and Italian

My name would be Ho D’Addario.

I’d feel happy in my rural home

(But probably concealed carry though).

And one day I would know

My life was going well

When folks’d say “Hi Ho D’Addario!

“The farmer’s in the dell!”

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And With That Hair I’m Destined For National Leadership

If I were a Pokemon

I’d want to be Crabominable

Because no one would enslave me

And fight in a manner intolerable.

Yes, ugliness has benefits

When avoiding death is your aim.

And for you ’90s kids who say its fake:

You should play a more recent game.

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Without My Mom You’d Still Be Pretending To Like Robert Frost

Today we thank our mothers,

The reason we’re alive,

The commuter jets of fetuses

That ensured to life we’d arrive.

And after our delivery

Their labors didn’t stop;

Our every cry reminded them

Of a long-ago hop-on-Pop.

They spent many sleepless hours

Changing diapers, wiping tears,

Just for us to becomes teenagers

All full of angst and sneers.

But two moms we thank today

Whose children are divine.

One is the virgin Mary

And the other mom is mine.

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Misleading Titles (Also Pure Fiction Except Lines 4, 7, and 8)

I sit here at the bus stop

Reading Fifty Shades of Grey

(Which I got at the library

‘Cause for that crap I won’t pay)

And as I skim from the intro

Until the final line

I see one quite clear shade

But where’s the other forty-nine?

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Waldo and the Disturbing Lack of Spiritual Guidance for Fictional Persons

Many kids found Waldo

When themselves were kids.

They found Waldo in a crowd

‘Cause that’s just what they did.

Some grown-ups still have Waldo

Waiting on their shelf,

But how many people thought

To help poor Waldo find himself?

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