Tag Archives: Silly

Honest Kids

I said “kinda farty,”

And mommy got mad.

That’s what her dinner tasted like.

Now I live alone with Dad.

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Dr. Seuss Beware!

There was a skunk named Dink

Who didn’t stink,

Which, at least for Dink, stank.

He played at skunk school

But smelled really cool

And thus his social standing sank.

They flunked the poor skunk

And he packed up his trunk.

He greatly disliked the school’s thinking,

But he too understood

Skunks can’t be what they should

If said skunks stunk like Dink did at stinking.

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Night Shift (Every Walmart Ever)

Sleepwalking,

Night stalking…

Insomnia is killing me.

Dead of night,

I feel no fright.

Just a few more hours ’til I’m free.

With empty hearts

And bulging carts

They leave my shelves so very bare.

Their hands are deep

In all that’s cheap.

At these poor beasts I stare.

All these hours

Living in a haze

Just a few more days

On the night shift.

I waste my life

Repeating strife,

Putting boxes back on the shelves.

My peers and I

Just want to cry,

Go home and be all by ourselves.

I ain’t got paid,

But I’ve quit and stayed.

Oh! How that paycheck calls…

I say I’ll walk,

But it’s all talk.

I haven’t got the balls.

All these hours

Hoping its a phase.

Counting down the days

On the night shift.

Then in an instant

I hear the TV:

“Todays winning numbers are

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3.”

Thirty-eight million dollars

Are mine! All mine! Then…

My boss yells “you’re fired

“If you doze off again.”

All these hours

And finally an excuse…

No need for such abuse…

Time to take another snooze…

On the night shift.

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Not Really… #YOLO

Thirty-six hours in the hospital

And $17,000 dollars later

I regret my Halloween in Florida

And bobbing for that gator…

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And That Is Why Some People Shouldn’t Have Dragons…

If I get a pet dragon

(For business or for kicks)

I’ll hide it in my dungeon

And prob’ly call it Trix.

I’ll feed it little children

To give it a dragon’s fix,

But mostly for the privilege of saying

“Silly rabbit, kids are for Trix!”

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The Agonies And TheEcstasies Of Being An Extremely Niche Web Celebrity

Nickelback called me

To let me know

They wrote a song

Inspired by my life.

Part of me feels

Honored by their intention,

But I’ll never listen to the song

Which should save me some strife.

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He Had Seven Vowels And No Courage

I played scrabble

With my chihuahua.

I played “encumbrance”

Then took a shower,

Hiked twenty miles,

Went to work, went to bed,

Then came back to find

My chihuahua had fled.

It hadn’t played letters,

And my face grew a grin.

I may’ve lost my dog

But still an overall win.

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