Remember when having a car
And kinda playing the guitar
Meant you were the top percent of men?
Ah, the world was good back then!
Tag Archives: Silly
Character Creation
What if everything’s human
But in all shapes and sizes
With different colors and textures
And numbers of eyes-es
And we are the luckies
Who were born kinda pasty,
Good at thinking and crying
But not very tasty?
Filed under Poems
What I Learned In English Class
Many a novelist worked all their lives
Studying classics and ignoring their wives
To write down a tale of legend and lore
That would outdo the authors who’ve written before.
Thousands of books line the library shelves
Depicting the foibles of demons and elves
And most of these pages (perhaps even all)
Cannot grip human minds like a big rubber ball.
A book needs attention; A ball just needs love
As you smack it with hands from below and above.
You may frown a bit when a character dies
But when the ball touches ground there are zero dry eyes.
A book has beginning and middle and end
But a ball is forever, moreso than a friend.
A book may be boring, but have ye no fear
For the fun’s never done when you play with a sphere!
So authors so erudite, hear my decree:
Stop fighting for writing. Let literature be
And trade out your quill for a beach ball (or three)
And see what an adventure “no-floor-ball” can be!
Filed under Poems
Counterargument…
What if God’s a dog?
That’s why he loves everyone
And doesn’t talk much…
Filed under Poems
…ses Are Red (Oops)
I wrote nine poems yesterday,
Short they were, it’s true,
But I have willpower enough
To not write “violets are blue.”
The day will come when I compose
Ten haikus in a row
But instead today I wrote eight lines
And they end with the words, “Ro…”
Filed under Poems
Use The Haiku, Luke
I
Two Jedi go find
Slave boy on a desert world,
Blow up space station
II
Slave boy’s all grown up
Turns out there are lots of clones
And a war begins
III
Slave boy kills younglings,
Upgrades wardrobe with a cape
And breathing device
IV
Old Jedi befriends
Farm boy on a desert world,
Blows up space station
V
Farm boy meets his dad.
Talking doesn’t go so well.
Things get out of hand
VI
Crime boss meets his match
And the farm boy saves his dad,
Blows up space station
VII
Desert planet girl
Looks for farm boy far away,
Blows up space station
VIII
What the #%%* was this?
Slow car chase through space, I guess?
Also, farm boy dies
IX
Space girl with map knife…
“Somehow, Palpatine returned”…
Identity Theft…
Filed under Poems
Flossing
If your gums don’t bleed
You aren’t pressing hard enough.
Do it every night.
Filed under Poems
#LiterallySatan
War is pretty bad.
Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Can we get taxed less?
Filed under Poems
A Dino Sore Subject
I don’t know when or how
But humanity will go;
Extinction is inevitable
But what I want to know
Is if those who come after us
Will maintain our legacy
By making chicken nuggies
That are shaped like you and me.
Filed under Poems
The Missing Link
Ten thousand people gather
Outside a thousand-person town
To see a stranger live his dream
When his band has come around.
He’ll play a dozen ditties
And we’ll sing along by heart
Because a dumb thing he wrote down
Appeared to us as art.
He’ll sell out seven stadiums
All seven days a week
And people clap and scream and cry
All just to hear him speak.
If this man brings such joy to many
Then imagine what you’d do
If you were better looking
And rich and super talented too!
Filed under Poems
