Chanel number five
When she comes home at night…
Something about it
Just doesn’t feel right.
She won’t catch my eye.
There’s a lie I can see.
This sounds like a job
For Double-O Me!
I’m spying on Wilson.
I hope it’s not John.
I’ve got to find out
Just what’s been going on.
My heart will stay broken
‘Til I find out the truth.
Time for Double-O Me,
The ultimate sleuth!
She doesn’t like Travis
And Alfred is a bore.
Ted’s not into women
And Pete is off at war.
Her other male friends
I cannot recollect
So maybe the answer’s
Not what I expect?
I’m done spying on Wilson.
I know it isn’t John,
And still I have to wonder
Just what is going on.
My heart will stay broken
‘Til I find out the truth.
Yet more time for Double-O Me,
Still the ultimate sleuth.
I’ve gotten sick of lurking
And staking out my friends.
Now I’m hoping that the means
Will justify the ends.
I asked her “why the perfume?”
She said “It blocks the smell.
“I like pet-sitting Scruffy
“But he stinks like bloody hell!”
For sure it isn’t Wilson.
John was innocent too.
Turns out that my suspicions
Were anything but true.
My heart’s no longer broken,
But I’ve one more thing to do.
Next up for Double-O Me:
To give that dog a talking to.
The Daily Travesty 