“Protect and serve the innocent”
Was what the poster said,
And it’s what I thought I’d do
When I became a fed.
I got to work the first day
In my black, designer suit.
I said “I’m here to serve and protect.”
My boss just said “That’s cute.”
He showed me to my office
In the middle of the floor
Where two monitors awaited
And I knew what was in store.
I became well acquainted
With a Mrs. Sally Strom
And the doodads that she purchased
On Amazon.com
They say your moral compass
Will sway from truth and light
Through prolonged exposure
To things that aren’t right,
But I have to disagree
With the ever-present “they”
Because tons of people do this
And it doesn’t wreck their day.
Protect and serve the innocent:
It sure sounds nice to me
And makes me feel righteous
About the innocent stuff I see.
The Daily Travesty 