Hantavirus ship
Proves the “New World Order” guys
Must be introverts
Tag Archives: Cynical
Why Don’t YouWant To Grow Up And Get A Job?
Bob works on an oil rig
And thinks it’s a real nice gig
Despite the never being warm,
Likelihood of death, and unending storm.
Jane sell pictures of her feet
And also thinks it’s real neat.
She’s richer than Bob, but feels depressed
Because she’s historically oppressed.
Meanwhile, Greg’s a CEO.
What does he do? How should I know?
But I know he lives much like a royal
With abundant feet pics and plenty of oil.
Filed under Poems
Maybe If We Got One Of Those Video Games The Kids Like And Put Guns In It? Have We Tried That Yet?
I’m not so concerned about politicians
With approval rates at historical lows.
Instead I’m concerned that armed rebellion
Is still unpopular, but hey, that’s how it goes.
Filed under Poems
Just Add A Polo And Eight Hours Of Foot Fatigue
Yes sir, good morning, and how do you do?
That’s wonderful, really. I’m fine, how are you?
You mean it? That’s awesome! Ya know, that’s so true!
Thanks for your business. Bye bye now! (Pee-yew)
Filed under Poems
Earth 2026: It’s In The Game
I think that God has outsourced
The world to EA Games
‘Cause every year the same stuff breaks
But just with different names,
The upgrades aren’t what we request
And some good features get lost
Yet somehow we get nothing
That explains the rising cost.
A year or so ago this thought
Would seem a funny meme
But current events might indicate
It’s truer than it seems…
A world that’s run by CEOs
That, year after year, never change?
Now I’m convinced this theory
Isn’t really all that strange.
Filed under Poems
Netflix Adaptations Claim Another Beloved IP
There once was fish that was blue
And instead of just one there were two
And another was black.
Red you say? That sounds wack!
And also the fish were gay too.
Filed under Poems
Over Time, This Is Guaranteed To Reduce Traffic
Instead of red lights
We can just have free-for-alls
At the four-way stops.
Filed under Poems
The Lube Job
I can’t afford to pay a dominatrix.
Their fee is simply too high to abide,
So when I want to be whipped and degraded
I turn on the “check engine” light in my ride.
Filed under Poems
Elon? Any Ideas?
They say there’s a place for everything
And everything should go in its place.;
My only question is how to efficiently
Send all the lawyers to the vacuum of space.
Filed under Poems
Financial Planning 101
All you have to do to be rich
Is take a home equity loan
Then invest in a diversified index fund
With an interest rate that makes you moan
Then wait thirty years as the market grows
And you’ll be in billionaire bliss!
That or just be good looking
And divorce someone who did this.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 