Tag Archives: Cynical

They Just Did It

Nike pays their workers

About sixteen dollars a week for

Them to work 80 hours

Making a pricey brand-name sneaker

(That’s twenty cents an hour

For those with a math obsession)

But hey! They’re paying Kaepernick

To speak out against oppression.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Yes, I Was Playing White

I played a game of chess today

With a lass from West L.A.

I pinned her king and said “Checkmate,”

But West L.A demanded “Wait!”

She pointed out that I had doomed

A king whose gender I’d assumed

And what my small mind hadn’t seen

Was that I had trapped her second queen.

Having no method now to win

I concluded she had done me in.

Now the world can only guess:

Why don’t more lesbians play chess?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Still More Fun Than Watching Soccer

I want to play rock-paper-scissors

Where scissors beats rock, ’cause then

Everyone would always choose scissors

And it would make the game more “zen.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Canadian Muslim Problems

In December I sat on a frozen lake

And fished for rainbow trout.

The next two months I did the same

‘Cause that’s what I’m about.

This Summer I’m vacationing

Somewhere in the Maldives.

I know there’s no ice-fishing there

But I can avoid my 28 wives.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Taste Optional

I saw an advertisement

For a poetry group today

Inviting folks to “come and read

“A poem that stabs the heart,

Reveals a truth or sadness,

Or helps you shout hooray.”

I was not well received

By reading “Ode to a Fart.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Princess Fatigue

Ask any man “Would you marry?”

And the man will most-likely say “Sure.”

He’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days

To announce his commitment to her.

Ask any girl “Would you marry?”

And she’ll smile and say “Yes” with glee.

“And he’d wear a gold ring for the rest of his days

“To announce his commitment to me!”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

More Deep Thoughts

Living a happy and comfortable life

Is like eating a lot of chocolate:

It makes you fat and kills you slowly

But it’s totally worth it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems