Tag Archives: Cynical

Some Jobs Can’t Catch A Break…

Where I live in Washington

The schools are shutting down.

The restaurants are closing

All across my little town.

Musicians, actors, dancers

Have no place to ply their trade

And artists cannot show their work

And therefor can’t get paid.

Amidst setbacks and panic

There’s a cloud with a silver-line:

Though you cannot learn or act

Or dance or sing or dine

There is no ban on poetry

Being posted on the net;

Thus why I’m still writing at 10:39.

Is this virus over yet?

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Happy Valentine’s Everyone!

Today I’m writing poems

To folks I’ve never met

Because the woman that I love

Has not existed yet.

Why I am alone tonight

I surely understand,

But no man can be lonely

When he has his own right hand.

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SERIOUSLY?! DOST THOU KIDDETH THY LORD?!

Somewhere in Heaven

The Gods all look down

At the biggest of cities

And the tiniest town,

They watch people playin’

And workin’ and sleepin’

(It’s okay that they watch us

‘Cause Gods can’t be creepin’).

They shout for our victories,

Sob for our failings,

But one thing holds constant

For all of their wailings:

All Gods will swear

On all that is pious

That those damned referees

Are all fuckin’ biased.

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I’m Getting Stepsistery In My Old Age

Cinderella is the tale

Of a peasant girl named Ella

Who, by being the only nice girl in the world,

Snares the heart of her fella.

Some say we’d all be Cinderella

If the world were entirely jerks

Yet I haven’t met many princesses

So I don’t think that’s how the world works.

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Mornings

Like the breath of the moon I watched my thoughts

And sang within my heart,

Combining dreams with promises

Into an invisible art.

I listened for the absent birds

Counting seconds before they pass

Which is a more mystical way to say

I was tired so I sat on my ass.

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Butt Weight… There’s More

I like girls who are polite

And women who are modest.

I like girls with joie de vivre

Although they’re not the hottest.

I like girls who demonstrate

A sense of generosity

Yet girls I meet prefer to flaunt

Their callipygiosity.

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Capitalism In Action

People are saying college is expensive,

That $100,000 in debt isn’t fine.

I worked hard to get a scholarship

And only owe $99,999.99

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