Tag Archives: Cynical

False-Rape Culture

The marriage rate is going down

And many tears are falling.

The good men left and left behind

Some eyes bloodshot from bawling.

Men no longer mentor

Any women that they pay

Because they fear the power

Of what said women might say

And smart men will no longer talk

To strangers in a skirt

‘Cause they’re one false “j’accuse” away

From sleeping in the dirt.

Cats think that this circumstance

Is surely heavensent:

They live with 30-something women

Whose exes pay the rent.

Meanwhile the men rebuild themselves

From fighters into monks

And leave the chasing women

To the inner-city punks.

The West now walks on eggshells.

There is no doubt about it:

The feminists have made their beds

And now they lie about it.

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Meanwhile Men Just Sit, Kill Animals In Silence, And Love One Another

If you look I think you’ll find

That women are mean to their own kind:

They’ll criticize you if you’re pretty.

They’ll be mean if you look shitty.

They’ll tease you if they can’t see your butt

But if they can then you’re a slut.

They’ll mock you if you’ve got one pal, though

If you are popular they’ll call you shallow.

They’ll fill your life with only hate

But I’m a man. How ’bout a date?

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Ignorance Is Bliss

Our childish dreams are warm

Beneath the blanket of unknowing,

Our sensibilities secure

All thanks to lack of growing.

Dulcet and desultory,

With ease we are besot,

Avoiding the obstreperous

And things requiring thought.

We swim in tranquil waters

As our bones turn into lard.

Our brains become decrepit

As we hide from all that’s hard.

The deities of comfort

Sanctify our mindless chatter,

A lullaby to help forget

Our lives don’t really matter.

When hunger or reality

Force us, languid, to act

We choose harmony of feelings

Over cacophony of fact,

And thus have we who worship

Our mirror’s charming sheen

Learned to pray for ignorance

So that we may die serene.

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…Until The Courtyard In Question Turns Thirty, The Biological Clock Kicks In, And It Settles For The Secure-But-Unexciting Wall

I was a brick wall. So secure

There was nothing I could not endure,

Yet, while I’m safe in a fire

She wanted barbed wire

‘Cause “Barbed Wire is hotter for sure.”

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First, Do No Harm

Today I’ve done nothing

But sit on my butt.

I woke up, closed the blinds,

Checked the door (locked and shut)

Then reveled for hours

Of sedentary bliss

Never once caring

About what I might miss.

And as nothing happened

For a fair bit of time

I had no new ideas

And committed no crime,

Consumed no nutrition

And didn’t make noise,

And somehow refrained

From molesting young boys.

I didn’t feel sadness,

Nor did I have fun

So for sunday the score is:

Catholics: 0, Poet: 1

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Obligatory Thanksgiving Poem

Today’s the day we give our thanks

To those who made the lending banks

Who’ll help us spend the day to come

By buying stuff until we’re numb.

We’ll also eat some spuds and birds

As we exchange our thankful words,

Then look outside and see the sweet

Bright lights of Christmas across the street.

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Unsung Legends

Hercules is strong

But what about Hiscules?

Bunch of sexist greeks…

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