Tag Archives: Government

But They Still Need Taxes?

“What comes up must come down”

My teacher told me with a frown,

But here’s a thing that I don’t get:

Why isn’t that true for government debt?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Great Minds Think Alike, But Fools Seldom Differ

The best thing about 8 billion people

Is, at least according to me,

That no matter what weird opinion you have

At least one other guy will agree.

The worst thing about 8 billion people

Is, also according to moi,

That a bunch of the rich and the stupid ones

Agree their opinions are law.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Oligarchy Elementary Is Accepting New Students

I beg your pardon

For I mean to yap at thee

My case for nonconsensual

Reallocation of apathy,

For were we to allow

Our youth to expand

Their range of beliefs

We’d soon lose command

Of the best and the brightest

And the dullards alike.

Though the latter don’t argue

The former’d take a hike

And should free-thinkers see

All the ways we have lied…

Well, that is a notion

We must not abide.

Thus we must imprison

(At least to an extent)

Those who’ve not yet reached

The age of consent

And proceed to tell them

Facts they will ignore

To distract from the world

That they long to explore.

We’ll teach them arithmetic,

Reading, and writing

But most of all that

There is no need for fighting

For if each one resisted

Each oppressive foe

Then our script would be flipped

We, the high, become low.

Thus state education

In all things miscellaneous

Shall ensure that our underlings

Are not extemporaneous.

Thus closes my pitch

For public education.

We overlords live

Thanks to school’s misdirection.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Peasant Problems

They told me to lift dumbbells

‘Cause my arms were far too thin.

I couldn’t check if they were right

‘Cause Congress wouldn’t let me in.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Problem With Democracy (My Perspective Matters More)

“Do you see what I see”

Is a stupid thing to ask,

For though the subject we both see

May be a boot or flask

I see it in the sunset

Flanked by gorgeous fall of night

But by virtue of an angle

You see it framed by walls of white.

I can see what you see

And you can see what I.

We can say “that is a boot”

Though we each use a different eye.

So why not on social matters

Cannot we likewise more agree

That if a thing’s more beautiful

To you than ’tis to me

That the thing itself objectively

Is, regardless, unaffected?

Because it doesn’t help dividers

Unite short-sight to get elected.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Treatise On Cooperation With Government… Sort Of

Two children sit and watch a thing

That’s orange and round and fun.

One says “it’s warm and so it must

“Be a piece of fallen sun.”

One says “I can slam dunk it

“So it’s a basketball.”

Another says “it’s a tangerine!

“Do you know nothing at all?”

And I, with silent others, watch

Them call a pizza many names.

Some kids voted between them

When the appropriate moment came,

Yet I, when shown a pizza

And was asked “robot or duck?”

Didn’t vote for either answer

Because dishonest answers suck.

As the other children compromised

And said “Fine! It’s a goat!”

I ate and shared the pizza

With the others who didn’t vote.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems

National Defense

“Protect and serve the innocent”
Was what the poster said,
And it’s what I thought I’d do
When I became a fed.
I got to work the first day
In my black, designer suit.
I said “I’m here to serve and protect.”
My boss just said “That’s cute.”

He showed me to my office
In the middle of the floor
Where two monitors awaited
And I knew what was in store.
I became well acquainted
With a Mrs. Sally Strom
And the doodads that she purchased
On Amazon.com

They say your moral compass
Will sway from truth and light
Through prolonged exposure
To things that aren’t right,
But I have to disagree
With the ever-present “they”
Because tons of people do this
And it doesn’t wreck their day.

Protect and serve the innocent:
It sure sounds nice to me
And makes me feel righteous
About the innocent stuff I see.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

On the Correction of Humans

It’s come to my attention
That the world isn’t flawless.
People are ugly, stupid, poor,
Foreign, local, and/or lawless.

To fix this inconvenient fact
I’ve thought up a solution:
Let’s choose some perfect people
And write up a constitution

And bind those other people
Under government and law.
Isn’t it nice that this system
Doesn’t have any flaw?

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems