The Super Bowl Ad That Wasn’t

Tea is made of soggy leaves,
Coffee of boiled beans.
Juice is made of beat-up fruit
Or bovine growth-enhancing genes.

Alcohol is rotten food
Made into liquid form.
Milk is full of hormones
Much like a college dorm.

But water is made of melted ice
And of precipitation.
And it makes you joyful, calm, and well
According to our information.

You’re ninety percent water,
As you may already know.
So why not buy Dasani
When you look for H2O?

This poem features many notable celebrities, and should compel you to buy Dasani brand water.

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