Lone Survivor

I was driven this afternoon

To Lazy Susan isle

Where I hoped my friends and I

Could make our masters smile.

Alas, on our arrival

Our happy plan went wrong.

Our masters ate poor Jell-o,

And our fair Hostess, Ding-Dong.

I heard the screams of ice cream,

And the dying shrieks of cake.

I heard the moans of lady fingers

(Though I think those were fake).

How I survived I do not now,

But I’m alive to sing this ballad

Of the Lazy Susan massacre.

Yours truly,

Kale Salad