When a dog is very, very bad…
Beyond the “cone of shame,”
…They travel to an island
Where everything smells the same.
Squirrels and deer and rabbits
Run freely on the grasses
While dogs are put in kennels
And can’t sniff each others’ asses.
Every night they take a bath
And get their toenails groomed.
Some dogs end up someone’s bitch.
Some dogs end up perfumed.
They serve a 12-month sentence
That feels like seven years.
Some dogs come in, well… intact,
But they come out as steers.
So don’t be a bad doggie
All covered in piercings and tats,
‘Cause what I forgot to mention is
The place is run by cats!