If So, You’re Doomed

If I were born with tentacles

Sticking out of my head

At first I’d think my life was rather sad,

But I could meet a pretty squid

And maybe have a kid

And then it wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

So if you have no limbs

Or an extra toe or two

Don’t worry. You’ll find love for sure!

You’ll find the one, I guarantee

Unless you are like me,

That is: online, honest, and five-foot four.

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