Tag Archives: Love

When I Meet One, We Will Be Soulmates

All the little animals

Of land and sea and air

Sought to find a one true love,

Their one and only pair.

The birds and bees, the cats and dogs,

The frogs and toads were one;

The hare and tortoise, horse and fly

Paired up and all was done.

Alas, when pairing finished

The axolotl was alone

Because instead of socializing

It wrote poems on its phone.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Man’s Real Best Friend

Everyone needs a big fluffy blanket

That smiles when you hug it or throw it or yank it;

It can soothe pain and dry off your tears

And it does so for free over hundreds of years.

When Summer is hot and you lie on the grass

It holds all your food and keeps bugs off your ass.

When Winter is cold and the sky is all gray

The blanket will escort the darkness away.

A blanket can act as a robe in a bind

And a tangle of blankets can help you unwind.

Yes, everyone needs a big fluffy blanket

So next time you see one, remember to thank it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

She’s Cute Though…

My girl was trying to write

A poem for me tonight

She tried rhyming “dominion”

With “In my girls arms”

And that’s when we started the fight.

She requested I write her original poem

So here it is, verbatim:

“The Happiest Place On Earth”

Some may call it Disneyland

But we did not meet a bug.

Others call it Ikea,

Though we came home with a rug.

In my own opinion

The happiest dominion

Is that the happiest place on earth

Is in my girl’s arms.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Five Most Powerful Natural Disasters (Number Two Will Shock You)

He had wavy golden locks

That fell upon her shoulders

As he held her close with one arm

While the other parried boulders.

Behind them, a volcano

Spat hellfire in the air

But the hottest thing nearby was still

His chest, sweaty and bare.

An earthquake shook the lovers.

A tsunami got them wet,

But nature had no fury

To match their passion yet.

Then a tiny spider crawled

Across her silky bosom

Which quickly quelled the ardor

Of the trashy novel twosome.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Dear Ladies, Love Men

My girl made me a sandwich

And left a little note:

“Sandwich in the fridge. I love you!”

That was all she wrote.

That was all I needed

To get me through the day

And made every struggle, small and large,

Seem perfectly okay.

So when your boyfriend, husband,

Or another man declares

“Go make me a sandwich”

It shows you that he cares

Enough about your love to ask

For what he really needs.

If you want true love to grow

That’s how to sow the seeds.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

She’s Still My Muse, But…

I wanted inspiration

So I asked my girlfriend to tell

Me anything that starts with a”A”.

It didn’t go so well…

“Um… um…” my girlfriend mumbled

As I asked again, “What starts with A?”

Finally she said, slightly annoyed

“Anchovie.” Then she said “Okay.”

I asked her to say literally anything

And she replied again “Hm.”

Then she pretended she didn’t hear the question

And said “David! David! Bum.”

It didn’t make for a masterpiece

But she inspired this poem you’re reading.

Now I’ll let you get back to your life

And let mom get back to her beading.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Future Of Marriage

I love myself. I’m awesome.

I do, myself, amaze.

I really am incredible

In oh so many ways.

That’s why I decided

To buy myself a ring

And propose to myself romantically

While the doves of morning sing.

Alas, I’m so amazing

That I’m too good for me

So I turned down the proposal

And sobbed and said “Hehe.”

I am all distraught, and yet

I’m strong of will and mettle

Knowing that I’m great enough

To never, ever settle.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Sonnet For A Washcloth

Textured washcloth in a pastel color,

I love how my skin you exfoliate.

You make my oily skin look so duller;

For your great glory, I extoll ye, mate!

When I am lonely and in a great need

Of very crude and masculine release

I need no manual to for to read

To help you bring me to a restful peace.

You cost so little, less than fifty cents

And you loyally last my whole life long;

Textured pastel washcloth, I ask you whence

Did you become so grand, forever strong?

You are more than just a cheap toiletry;

You, my washcloth, are the best part of me!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Hallmark Card For Long-Distance Relationships

Hey girl! Are you a sitting duck

Or you the broadside of a barn

Or another easy-target such-and-such?

You’re amazing and you’re super

And I feel like a storm trooper

‘Cause it’s crazy, missing you this much.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Our Turn

At wee early hour on the hills by my home

I’d knock on your door, heart a burning

To dance there with you

And the golden morning dew,

Giving thanks that the world keeps a turning.

When sun finally breaks, gold and heavy that morn

And we stride proud below sky a burning

I’ll feel like a king

With the first bud of the Spring

And give thanks that the world keeps a turning.

The sun at it’s apex, a blanket beneath,

And two lovers for picnic are yearning.

Her hair smooth as silk

They drink honey and the milk

In the garden of Earth, still a turning.

As years turn to lifetimes and bodies to dust

The couple does not cease their learning.

They lie, cold and still

And the two become the hill,

Still part of the world ever turning.

Remember the sunshine. Remember the lifetime.

Remember the sweet butter churning.

Remember the dawn

For someday the Earth will yawn

And together we’ll rest from the turning.

Leave a comment

Filed under Lyrics, Poems