Once there was a poem
That wanted to be read
But 7 billion people
Did something else instead.
If you are reading this
You make the poem smile.
It hopes you’ll come back again
To read it once in a while.
Tag Archives: Love
Guest Poem from Al Bundy
If marriage were like football
There would be no single men.
Every year they’d scout for wives
And draft a girl or ten
Then sign them to a contract
For a couple wondrous years
And give them shirts with numbers
And use them to sell beers.
We’d all have favorite teams of wives
Like the Ashleys or the Sophies
Who live in different cities
And try to win us trophies,
And when the best turn 40
(Or sometimes just 34)
We’d trade them off to other teams
And draft a dozen more.
If marriage were like football
Maybe life would be ok,
But instead it seems to be more like
The WNBA.
Filed under Poems
Smart Guys = Not Hot
I said “Hi.”
She said “Hello.”
I said “Don’t use big words like that.”
Now I am her beau.
Filed under Poems
YA Romance Writers, Take Note
While I was making sweet, sweet love
To my canoe, I thought:
“Just because your love’s forbidden
“Doesn’t mean it’s hot.”
Filed under Poems
When People Write In Nothing But Emojis
The longest month of springtime,
A ball that helps you see,
A band with too much makeup,
And a goat we named “Marie.”
I meant to be romantic
But she had no clue
That I was simply asking
“May I kiss you?”
📆👁🐼🎵🐐?
Filed under Poems
Relationship Goals
Two years ago on Sunday
I looked into her eyes
And promised her I love her
And I’m not like other guys.
One year ago on Sunday
I met with her and said
I’d fly us both to Venice
And we’d never leave the bed.
And now this year on Sunday
I’ll ask her to be my bride
And maybe this time she’ll says yes
And I’ll feel good inside!
Filed under Poems
One Night, But There’s No Standing
She stands tall and beautiful,
Symmetrical and brown.
Little did I know my touch
Will bring her crashing down.
Everyone around her stares
In silence, tense and fun
And I know I must reach out
And be her only one.
I know not where to try my luck,
So I start with her feet
Then move attention to her head,
The first trial complete.
Still she stands, but shaken
By the change in her I’ve wrought.
My hands keep going back to her
Despite how hard I fought.
All through the night I push and pull
And hope that I could change her,
But it is I who lost my nerve
Amidst an air of danger.
I thought I’d stand so tall and proud
And thought she’d do the same.
Alas, together we collapse;
Thus ends the Jenga game.
Filed under Poems
Dating In The Country Be Like…
I hear her dad has fewer teeth
Than guns hung on his walls…
I heard her seven brothers
Got among ’em 19 balls…
I’ve heard her mom got famous
As a former L.A. Ram…
But I heard she ain’t got no beard
So I don’t give a damn!
Filed under Poems
The Intimacy Of Distance
Sometimes to be yourself it seems
A friend just will not do,
For one may fear a friend will know
About the real you.
And so when one must tell the truth
With all its hidden dangers
One turns to find one’s solace
In the waiting ears of strangers.
And yet in sharing what you are
With someone you don’t know,
In starting with the basic stuff
And moving far too slow
You find that what you hoped for
Is alive and omnipresent
And that a world that judged you
Now appears… could it be pleasant?
Did you see the sun came out
And know that fruit is sweet
And music’s free for everyone
And smiles fill the street?
Sometimes just to be yourself
Needs strength you do not feel
So thank God for the strangers
And the ways they help us heal.
Filed under Poems
When Her Eyes Met Mine
My eyes are sort of brownish
Like a car that no one bought,
But there’s a girl I see in class
Whose eyes I like a lot;
They’re greener than a vegan’s lawn
And bright as stars above,
And when I look into their depths
I fall deeper in love.
I asked a dear old friend of mine
How I can show I care.
He told me to make eye contact
And all would flow from there,
And so I took my glasses off
And walked up, feeling fine
And took her head into my hands
And pressed her eyes to mine.
Well I can’t say I had success…
Can’t say it helped my vision…
All I can say’s my friend’s advice
Got me locked up in prison.
But on a side almost as bright
As her eyes’ emerald hue
She said a lot of words to me
And that’s a dream come true!
