Tag Archives: Love

Lonely Poem Appreciates Your Time ๐Ÿ˜Š

Once there was a poem

That wanted to be read

But 7 billion people

Did something else instead.

If you are reading this

You make the poem smile.

It hopes you’ll come back again

To read it once in a while.

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Guest Poem from Al Bundy

If marriage were like football

There would be no single men.

Every year they’d scout for wives

And draft a girl or ten

Then sign them to a contract

For a couple wondrous years

And give them shirts with numbers

And use them to sell beers.

We’d all have favorite teams of wives

Like the Ashleys or the Sophies

Who live in different cities

And try to win us trophies,

And when the best turn 40

(Or sometimes just 34)

We’d trade them off to other teams

And draft a dozen more.

If marriage were like football

Maybe life would be ok,

But instead it seems to be more like


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Smart Guys = Not Hot

I said “Hi.”

She said “Hello.”

I said “Don’t use big words like that.”

Now I am her beau.

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YA Romance Writers, Take Note

While I was making sweet, sweet love

To my canoe, I thought:

“Just because your love’s forbidden

“Doesn’t mean it’s hot.”

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When People Write In Nothing But Emojis

The longest month of springtime,

A ball that helps you see,

A band with too much makeup,

And a goat we named “Marie.”

I meant to be romantic

But she had no clue

That I was simply asking

“May I kiss you?”


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Relationship Goals

Two years ago on Sunday

I looked into her eyes

And promised her I love her

And I’m not like other guys.

One year ago on Sunday

I met with her and said

I’d fly us both to Venice

And we’d never leave the bed.

And now this year on Sunday

I’ll ask her to be my bride

And maybe this time she’ll says yes

And I’ll feel good inside!

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One Night, But Thereโ€™s No Standing

She stands tall and beautiful,

Symmetrical and brown.

Little did I know my touch

Will bring her crashing down.

Everyone around her stares

In silence, tense and fun

And I know I must reach out

And be her only one.

I know not where to try my luck,

So I start with her feet

Then move attention to her head,

The first trial complete.

Still she stands, but shaken

By the change in her I’ve wrought.

My hands keep going back to her

Despite how hard I fought.

All through the night I push and pull

And hope that I could change her,

But it is I who lost my nerve

Amidst an air of danger.

I thought I’d stand so tall and proud

And thought she’d do the same.

Alas, together we collapse;

Thus ends the Jenga game.

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Dating In The Country Be Like…

I hear her dad has fewer teeth

Than guns hung on his walls…

I heard her seven brothers

Got among ’em 19 balls…

I’ve heard her mom got famous

As a former L.A. Ram…

But I heard she ain’t got no beard

So I don’t give a damn!

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The Intimacy Of Distance

Sometimes to be yourself it seems

A friend just will not do,

For one may fear a friend will know

About the real you.

And so when one must tell the truth

With all its hidden dangers

One turns to find one’s solace

In the waiting ears of strangers.

And yet in sharing what you are

With someone you don’t know,

In starting with the basic stuff

And moving far too slow

You find that what you hoped for

Is alive and omnipresent

And that a world that judged you

Now appears… could it be pleasant?

Did you see the sun came out

And know that fruit is sweet

And music’s free for everyone

And smiles fill the street?

Sometimes just to be yourself

Needs strength you do not feel

So thank God for the strangers

And the ways they help us heal.

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When Her Eyes Met Mine

My eyes are sort of brownish

Like a car that no one bought,

But there’s a girl I see in class

Whose eyes I like a lot;

They’re greener than a vegan’s lawn

And bright as stars above,

And when I look into their depths

I fall deeper in love.

I asked a dear old friend of mine

How I can show I care.

He told me to make eye contact

And all would flow from there,

And so I took my glasses off

And walked up, feeling fine

And took her head into my hands

And pressed her eyes to mine.

Well I can’t say I had success…

Can’t say it helped my vision…

All I can say’s my friend’s advice

Got me locked up in prison.

But on a side almost as bright

As her eyes’ emerald hue

She said a lot of words to me

And that’s a dream come true!

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