My Pledge Fir Self-Improvement (Typo Not Originally Intended, But Also Left Uncorrected For Irony’s Sake)

I’ve done a bit of research

In a casual sort of way

And I noticed quite a pattern

In the things I’ve got to say.

If I write a poem

About my lack of motivation

After weeks of doing lots

It gets a digital standing ovation.

If instead my lazy poems

Come two right in a row

You tell me what “a pair” is

And that it’s something I should grow.

What I’ve concluded from this study

Of a couple offhand posts

Is that all is fine and dandy

With parodies and roasts

But when I’m being honest

With my slothful true demeanor

You fail to appreciate

How the browner grass is greener.

The stanza which precedes this one

May not make sense to you.

I don’t get it either

So I’ll tell you what we’ll do:

Go ahead and “like” this poem.

Go and comment and subscribe.

Share it, tweet it, email it,

And show it’s how you gibe!

Now when you disobey me

And this poem gets zero “likes”

I can get off my high horse

And quit downing Mike and Ikes

And maybe in the future

I’ll come to realize

That writing better mediocrity

Has value in your eyes.


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