Tag Archives: Bad

Empathy Is For Other People

Sometimes I think I have a lot

Upon my figurative plate

Because I have so little time

And go to sleep too late

And then I see somebody

Working nineteen hours for minimal pay

And I go home just thinking

“What flavor pizza should I get today?”

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Island’ed On Another Pun

One time I went to Hawaii

And I let out a heavy sighii

‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise

And aloha temperature would be nice.

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Butt Why?

If you think your job is bad

I think I’ve got you bested:

Today I read on a rectal thermometer

“Each unit individually tested.”

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Give Me The Change You Want To See

You know how when you want to watch

A YouTube video

And just when it gets to the good part

The talent starts to show

An ad for “Raid: Shadow Legends”

Or some other mobile game

And you just skip ahead because

You think the ad is lame?

Well, that’s basically the state

Of politics today:

Companies sponsor actors

And we look the other way.

So if you want to change the world

Don’t buy Pfizer or Walmart.

Instead, please spend your hard-earned cash

On poetry to start!

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A Very Heartfelt Easter Poem

Happy bunny day today

To those who hunt for eggs and pray

And also Lent is done so yay!

That’s all I’ve got, so go away.

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A Shaky Poem At Best…

An epileptic guy walked into a pizzeria.

It was a Domino’s, but he wanted Little Seizures.

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Woke NASA

“Short people might not play basketball

But that doesn’t mean that they cannot.“

That was the reasoning cited

For making the Kool-Aid man an astronaut.

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Night In The Woods: An Analysis Of The Forest and Tree-Heavy Areas After Sunset When Natural Lighting Is Limited To That Of The Moon In The Woods

Dark shadows in the black night

As four-legged quadrupeds scurry,

Moving left and right in both directions

Quickly, as if in a hurry.

The leaves from the plants crinkle noisily

With the sound of an audible pop:

This eternal song goes on forever

And probably will never stop.

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In Retrospect, Childhood Had Its Perks

I have to go to bed soon

And wake up before quarter-to-noon

And then drive my car

And not get a gold star

And I can’t even watch a cartoon!

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The Bar Is Low

As she slid the dollar bill

Between my boxers and my abs

I came to the conclusion

Grandma shouldn’t have opened a tab.

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