I heard him tell her “You’re breathtaking,”
And I thought “That’s nice, isn’t it.”
Then I realized it was a guy with a lisp
Who just punched his wife on the tit.
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Tag Archives: Bad
Hao Chow Dong?
Chinese chicks are selfish
When it comes to bedroom acts.
You may not, at first, believe me
So I come equipped with facts:
Their zodiac has animals
Like Rabbit, Dog, and Ox.
Missing (eaten) is the Pussycat.
Still present are the Cocks.
The Beaver’s been devoured
But not the Dragon or the Snake.
It seems most Fish and Birds get eaten,
But hey! That’s just my take…
Filed under Poems
EA Poems
There once was a small stoic duck
Who, alas, had run out of luck.
But he soon hatched a plan
And oh boy and oh man!
Filed under Poems
It’s Only Right You Suffer For My Mistakes
Yesterday I wrote two poems.
I feel like a dunce.
I meant one to be published tomorrow (today?)
But it got published at once.
Because of my mistake that day
You must hear me now annunc…
Iate. Yes, this poem is pointless
And every other line rhymes with “grunce.”
Filed under Poems
This Is Probably Sexist…
Science has concluded
That for most life on earth
The number of penises you have
Is inversely correlated with your odds of giving birth.
Filed under Poems
Now That’s A Team That’s Cooking With Gas
Vikings killed a lot of folks;
Bears and lions too.
Warriors kill a lot of folks
‘Cause that’s just what they do.
Tigers, dolphins, bulldogs, eagles
Kill lots of stuff, and yet
No high school that I know of
Has picked a Hitler mascot yet.
Filed under Poems
Cautionary Tale
A visitor had phone sex
With a couple of hotel maids.
He thought he couldn’t get an STD
But now he has hearing aids.
Filed under Poems
