Today I protested protests
By going to the store,
Putting items in my cart
Which I did then pay for.
I then departed quietly
And went back to my house
Where I tweeted “Peace and love”
Before I beat my spouse.
Tag Archives: Bad
When Cops Steal Your Pets (At Least You Still Have Your Family)
I got licked by a dog,
Then I got licked by a cat,
Then I got licked by my uncle
But the Feds put an end to that.
Filed under Poems
The Heroes We Need
The closest of friends
Were Buttock and Cheek.
One was quite hairy,
The other quite sleek.
Whenever the world
Seemed wrong for a bit
The two came together
And stopped all that shit!
Filed under Poems
Tell Me This Doesn’t Rhyme!
Ding Chang was changing his password
To 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈺
But Google called it invalid
So instead he wrote 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈵
Filed under Poems
Good Clean American Cinema
If the Florida Air National Guard
Gets attacked by a suicidal croc
And they try to assassinate the leader
By using many a Blackhawk
Then discover the croc was Muslim
And they make a movie about it later
I hope they give it the title:
“Hella’copters vs. Allah Gator!”
Filed under Poems
I Wrote My Mom A Good Poem. This Isn’t It, You Freeloader :-)
I like to think of weird jokes
So I wrote one and hid it.
It’s not a “Yomama” joke
‘Cause then everyone would get it!
Filed under Poems
Math Is Hot
Circular houses are warmer
Than square houses, I’ve found;
Square houses are ninety degrees in the corners
But circles are 360 all around!
Filed under Poems
OI?
Someone told me
R*pe jokes aren’t funny.
I said, “You’re right, they’re knot.”
The time wasn’t ripe
To leave anyone hanging,
So I used a different * than they thought.
Filed under Poems
There’s Still Time To Write-In Chuck Norris…
One world leader said
“Grab ’em by the pussy,”
But got elected anyway.
One would-be leader
Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”
Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?
Filed under Poems
Low Siento…
Somewhere, there’s a Mexican wizard
Who can’t hear what people say.
I’ve heard he’s a deaf supremacist
And a member of the “Que? Que? Que?”
Filed under Poems
