Tag Archives: Bad

And Yet We Still Believe It

So began the monologue:

“Yes, of course I’ll train the dog!”

And in hindsight this we see

Was the greatest lie in history.

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The Extent Of My Megalomania (Which Is Also A Good Name For A Country)

If I had my own country…

Let’s call it Placelandia…

I know exactly

The flag I’d want.

It would be all white

But with black letters

That said “Placelandia”

In the biggest possible font.

I think Placelandia

Would be kinda okay

And help elementary school kids

Get, in geography, an A.

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A Lie Detector Poem

Such is the river adamant:

Neither deep

Nor swift upon the rocks

Of misunderstanding,

Nor should she nod

When it means “optic nerve,”

Or so the sages said.

Two times the wolf.

Two times the narrator.

So why is this a lie detector?

Just read this to someone and ask them what it means to them.

If they say “it’s crap,” congratulations! You have an honest friend.

If they say “the bit about the wolf was chilling” (or anything else, for that matter) you have a suck up, a liar, or (worst of all) a PhD on your hands.

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We Are The Sum Of Our Experiences

Have you ever seen a sunrise

And thought “that’s very yellow?”

Have you ever met a stranger

And known you do not know the fellow?

Have you ever started a poem

Without knowing how it will end?

If so I have to ask you

To stop trying to steal my identity.

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Is This Just Uninspired Trash Or Some Sort Of Super-Roundabout-Yomama Joke Or What?

Folks sometimes yell

“Jesus Christ!” When they’re mad,

But what did Mary shout

When Jesus was bad?

I do have a theory

And, yes, it is lame

But when Jesus was bad

Mary shouted my name.

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White Men…

Forty-thousand years ago

I was not yet born.

There was no clear cut logging,

Slow wi-fi or GMO corn.

The Federal Reserve

Had some cash they’d yet to spend

And there’d never been a war

Designed to have no end.

Alas, what we have now’s

Not what we had.

I guess that I should probably say

“My bad.”

A school shooting three times a year

Is worse than the crusades.

Sixty-eight cents on a man’s dollar

Is worse than not getting paid.

All the knowledge in the world

Is just a finger tap away,

But it can’t match the tribal elders

Saying “stone that guy. He’s gay.”

Despite the stained glass windows

God’s our middle-eastern dad,

So from this white guy to the world:

Oops, my bad.

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Le’eonardo De’avinci

Yo, ‘sup homie.

I got da shizzow:

It’s a portrait I did

Of dis half-smilin’ hoe.

It’s all kinda dark

In a beige kinda style

And I figga the critics

Gonna rave for a while.

I got some new model

But wut’s dat bitch’s name?

Moana? Le’isa?

Nothing worthy of fame.

They’ll ask why’d I paint it

And wonder howso.

Too bad I was trippin’

And forgot her brows yo!

#Wurd

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