I think we should legalize drugs
And make them free with dosage immense;
Everyone who wants drugs will be happy
And then die. I just think it makes sense!
Tag Archives: Bad
Forget Centaurs…
I asked my friend “If you could mix
“Any two animals, what would you choose?”
He said “The body of a human
“And the spirit of a goose.”
At first I thought him silly,
Maybe even a little dumb,
But now I think he’s a wizard
And I know where Californian drivers come from.
Filed under Poems
English Joke Because I Have To Get Up At 5:00 Tomorrow
Joe said “I have will gone to the pier.”
Bo said “It just got two tense in here.”
Filed under Poems
Next Year I Resolve To Put More Effort Into Hindsight
Looking back at 2022
I had a revelation that I’d like to share with you:
I realized that retrospectives take a while to do well
So I’ll end this poem early and say this year was pretty swell!
Filed under Poems
Music and Lyrics
I heard some kids sing “Old McDonald”
Singing “With a moo moo here and a moo moo there,
“Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo.”
Then I turned on the radio
And heard a 41-year-old sing
“Who rules the world? Girls.
“Who rules the world? Girls.
“Who rules the world? Girls.
“Who rules the world? Girls.”
Children deserve more respect.
Filed under Poems
This Poem Is Probably Racist And Hates Short People
Last night I wrote a lot.
Tonight I wrote much not.
The kettle is black and so is the pot.
Filed under Poems
My Bedtime Is At 8:00… Cut Me Some Slack
There once was a birthday party
That started at 6:30
It went a long time,
Which makes it hard to rhyme
Which is why “30” is now pronounced “tharty”.
Filed under Poems
Sick Day Haiku
I am sick tonight
Full of aches and pains and snot…
But the bat tastes good!
Filed under Poems
Christmas Music After They Take Jesus Out
You know Penis and Meatstick, Schlong, Dong, and ManPalace,
Manparts, “The Ramparts,” and Weiner and Phallus,
But do you recall
The most famous Mickey of all?
Mickey the big-dick Reindeer
Had a very shiny body part
And if you go deep enough on Google
You can probably find fan art. (Please don’t try this!)
All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh, except the does.
They just avoided contact
To not be labelled ho-ho-hoes.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say…
“Mickey, the elves started an insurrection.
I have need of your balls and weighty erection.”
Then how the laughter halted
As they watched the rebels flee.
“We’re sorry for feeling threatened
By your girthy masculinity!”
OnlineS3curi+y101
It asked me for my password;
I entered happyfreebird.
It said I needed a capital;
I wrote happyfreebirdL.
It said you need a number too;
I wrote happyfreebirdL2.
It said your password is weak and so is your bloodline, your identity will be stolen and you’ll deserve it you basic, filthy fleshbag;
I wrote gibberish because I’m just going to click “Forgot my password” anyway.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 