Sometimes I think I have a lot
Upon my figurative plate
Because I have so little time
And go to sleep too late
And then I see somebody
Working nineteen hours for minimal pay
And I go home just thinking
“What flavor pizza should I get today?”
Tag Archives: Bad
Island’ed On Another Pun
One time I went to Hawaii
And I let out a heavy sighii
‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise
And aloha temperature would be nice.
Filed under Poems
Butt Why?
If you think your job is bad
I think I’ve got you bested:
Today I read on a rectal thermometer
“Each unit individually tested.”
Filed under Poems
Give Me The Change You Want To See
You know how when you want to watch
A YouTube video
And just when it gets to the good part
The talent starts to show
An ad for “Raid: Shadow Legends”
Or some other mobile game
And you just skip ahead because
You think the ad is lame?
Well, that’s basically the state
Of politics today:
Companies sponsor actors
And we look the other way.
So if you want to change the world
Don’t buy Pfizer or Walmart.
Instead, please spend your hard-earned cash
On poetry to start!
Filed under Poems
A Very Heartfelt Easter Poem
Happy bunny day today
To those who hunt for eggs and pray
And also Lent is done so yay!
That’s all I’ve got, so go away.
Filed under Poems
A Shaky Poem At Best…
An epileptic guy walked into a pizzeria.
It was a Domino’s, but he wanted Little Seizures.
Filed under Poems
Woke NASA
“Short people might not play basketball
But that doesn’t mean that they cannot.“
That was the reasoning cited
For making the Kool-Aid man an astronaut.
Filed under Poems
Night In The Woods: An Analysis Of The Forest and Tree-Heavy Areas After Sunset When Natural Lighting Is Limited To That Of The Moon In The Woods
Dark shadows in the black night
As four-legged quadrupeds scurry,
Moving left and right in both directions
Quickly, as if in a hurry.
The leaves from the plants crinkle noisily
With the sound of an audible pop:
This eternal song goes on forever
And probably will never stop.
Filed under Poems
In Retrospect, Childhood Had Its Perks
I have to go to bed soon
And wake up before quarter-to-noon
And then drive my car
And not get a gold star
And I can’t even watch a cartoon!
Filed under Poems
The Bar Is Low
As she slid the dollar bill
Between my boxers and my abs
I came to the conclusion
Grandma shouldn’t have opened a tab.
The Daily Travesty 