Dab and Deb were walking
To meet up with Dib and Dob.
(Dub was nowhere to be seen).
Then Dab began to sob.
The first sentence is the beginning
And the third one is the ending.
Someone said “Smack Dab in the middle of it.”
Now wasn’t that mind-bending?
Filed under Poems
There once was an American skier
Who fell off a Canadian pier.
He yelled, “I broke my foot!”
Some bystanders asked, “What?”
Then one said, “Oh! His one-third of a meter!”
Filed under Poems
Of terrible jokes
This is but one of a myriad:
Both Picasso and the Princess
Have had a blue period.
Filed under Poems
I got a letter in the mail
From a Jehovah’s Witness
Which explained God’s will to me
And wished me mental fitness.
It told me, “God is watching
“And he’s offering you a lift,”
And yet I’ve seen no news
About the death of Taylor Swift…
Filed under Poems
The sun was a brilliant scarlet
Upon the rustling brush,
Redder than a hemorrhoid
Who’s asking out its crush.
Within the brush are little jays,
Their feathers dark and blue
Much like the mood experienced
When one eats eyeball stew.
The birds were eating insects
So tiny and so green
Like little child soldiers
Or polytetrafluoroethylene.
The birds, thus having eaten
Flew off to sunset orange.
Alas, this leaves no conclusive rhyme
But judging by the imagery of previous examples, I doubt you’re disappointed.
Filed under Poems
I like you
Like a hairdryer loves a bath,
Like an ax loves a tree,
Like GPAs love math,
Like Clintons love snitches,
Like Windows likes working,
But I still think it’s weird
Netflix likes children twerking.
Filed under Poems
He came to the comedian’s house
And said, “Gimme water, yo!”
I handed him a glass of hijklmno
Or, as some call it, H2O.
Filed under Poems
Geico has a gecko,
Aflac has a duck,
But my insurance company
Has no such mascot luck,
So instead of selling policies
I’ll be a stock-market trader
With a well-dressed crocodile mascot
Called the Investi-Gator.
Filed under Poems
If this were a job
It might get me fired
But this poem’s crap
‘Cause it’s late and I’m tired.
Filed under Poems
