Tag Archives: Bad

Introvert Riots

Today I protested protests

By going to the store,

Putting items in my cart

Which I did then pay for.

I then departed quietly

And went back to my house

Where I tweeted “Peace and love”

Before I beat my spouse.

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When Cops Steal Your Pets (At Least You Still Have Your Family)

I got licked by a dog,

Then I got licked by a cat,

Then I got licked by my uncle

But the Feds put an end to that.

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The Heroes We Need

The closest of friends

Were Buttock and Cheek.

One was quite hairy,

The other quite sleek.

Whenever the world

Seemed wrong for a bit

The two came together

And stopped all that shit!

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Tell Me This Doesn’t Rhyme!

Ding Chang was changing his password

To 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈺

But Google called it invalid

So instead he wrote 🈚️🈶🈷️🈸🈵

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Good Clean American Cinema

If the Florida Air National Guard

Gets attacked by a suicidal croc

And they try to assassinate the leader

By using many a Blackhawk

Then discover the croc was Muslim

And they make a movie about it later

I hope they give it the title:

“Hella’copters vs. Allah Gator!”

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I Wrote My Mom A Good Poem. This Isn’t It, You Freeloader :-)

I like to think of weird jokes

So I wrote one and hid it.

It’s not a “Yomama” joke

‘Cause then everyone would get it!

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Math Is Hot

Circular houses are warmer

Than square houses, I’ve found;

Square houses are ninety degrees in the corners

But circles are 360 all around!

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OI?

Someone told me

R*pe jokes aren’t funny.

I said, “You’re right, they’re knot.”

The time wasn’t ripe

To leave anyone hanging,

So I used a different * than they thought.

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There’s Still Time To Write-In Chuck Norris…

One world leader said

“Grab ’em by the pussy,”

But got elected anyway.

One would-be leader

Said “Don’t grab ’em by the pussy”

Before he did, so I guess he’s okay?

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Low Siento…

Somewhere, there’s a Mexican wizard

Who can’t hear what people say.

I’ve heard he’s a deaf supremacist

And a member of the “Que? Que? Que?”

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