I tried to find a sugar momma
But nobody has money in da hood.
I settled for a sweet ‘n low cousin
And I’m her splenda baby. It’s all good.
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Tag Archives: Bad
Watch Out
I saw a sign while driving home
That said “Watch for Children At Play.”
Although inconvenient to not know the time
I made the trade anyway.
Filed under Poems
She Did Not Laugh Throatily
She asked me for a diamond necklace.
I gave her a diamond whose shoulders touch its head.
She asked me for a diamond necklace
But I gave her a diamond neckless instead.
Filed under Poems
Trouble In Baltimore
My child asked me this morning
“If hitting is bad,
“How come people hit baseballs?”
Then he flew away.
I later discovered
He was not my child at all.
It was an oriole in disguise.
His sudden aversion to hitting
Makes sense now.
Filed under Poems
Life’s Hard Questions
If you gave a guy from Zimbabwe
A billion dollars cash
He could buy a whole lot of cattle
And a man with a lot of cattle is rich,
But if you give an American guy
A billion dollars worth of cattle
He can send his enemies cow poop
For the rest of his life,
So who’s the real winner?
Filed under Poems
Guess Which One Is Double-Majoring In Sociology?
I said “I’m learning Spanish
“‘Cause I fear soon it will be vital.”
She said “I’m learning Japanese
“To watch anime without subtitles.”
He said “I’m learning German
“Because I hate punctuation.”
Zhe said “I’m learning Gaelic
“Cause I’m a man who wants to experience menstruation.”
Filed under Poems
The Other Primary Color
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And yellow’s just like
“Wut dawg? U trippin’ bro?
“Violets are fuckin’ purple,
“And just ’cause I don’t rhyme easily
“Y’all just acting like dandelions and sunflowers and poppies and buttercups and, oh yeah yellow roses, don’t exist?
“Naw dawg, whatever. I’m out.”
Filed under Poems
