Tag Archives: Bad

Empathy Is For Other People

Sometimes I think I have a lot

Upon my figurative plate

Because I have so little time

And go to sleep too late

And then I see somebody

Working nineteen hours for minimal pay

And I go home just thinking

“What flavor pizza should I get today?”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Island’ed On Another Pun

One time I went to Hawaii

And I let out a heavy sighii

‘Cause it’s very hot in paradise

And aloha temperature would be nice.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Butt Why?

If you think your job is bad

I think I’ve got you bested:

Today I read on a rectal thermometer

“Each unit individually tested.”

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Give Me The Change You Want To See

You know how when you want to watch

A YouTube video

And just when it gets to the good part

The talent starts to show

An ad for “Raid: Shadow Legends”

Or some other mobile game

And you just skip ahead because

You think the ad is lame?

Well, that’s basically the state

Of politics today:

Companies sponsor actors

And we look the other way.

So if you want to change the world

Don’t buy Pfizer or Walmart.

Instead, please spend your hard-earned cash

On poetry to start!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Very Heartfelt Easter Poem

Happy bunny day today

To those who hunt for eggs and pray

And also Lent is done so yay!

That’s all I’ve got, so go away.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

A Shaky Poem At Best…

An epileptic guy walked into a pizzeria.

It was a Domino’s, but he wanted Little Seizures.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems


“Short people might not play basketball

But that doesn’t mean that they cannot.“

That was the reasoning cited

For making the Kool-Aid man an astronaut.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

Night In The Woods: An Analysis Of The Forest and Tree-Heavy Areas After Sunset When Natural Lighting Is Limited To That Of The Moon In The Woods

Dark shadows in the black night

As four-legged quadrupeds scurry,

Moving left and right in both directions

Quickly, as if in a hurry.

The leaves from the plants crinkle noisily

With the sound of an audible pop:

This eternal song goes on forever

And probably will never stop.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

In Retrospect, Childhood Had Its Perks

I have to go to bed soon

And wake up before quarter-to-noon

And then drive my car

And not get a gold star

And I can’t even watch a cartoon!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems

The Bar Is Low

As she slid the dollar bill

Between my boxers and my abs

I came to the conclusion

Grandma shouldn’t have opened a tab.

1 Comment

Filed under Poems