Tag Archives: Bad

That One Episode Of Whatever Sci-Fi Show Had The Right Idea

I think we should legalize drugs

And make them free with dosage immense;

Everyone who wants drugs will be happy

And then die. I just think it makes sense!

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Forget Centaurs…

I asked my friend “If you could mix

“Any two animals, what would you choose?”

He said “The body of a human

“And the spirit of a goose.”

At first I thought him silly,

Maybe even a little dumb,

But now I think he’s a wizard

And I know where Californian drivers come from.

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English Joke Because I Have To Get Up At 5:00 Tomorrow

Joe said “I have will gone to the pier.”

Bo said “It just got two tense in here.”

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Next Year I Resolve To Put More Effort Into Hindsight

Looking back at 2022

I had a revelation that I’d like to share with you:

I realized that retrospectives take a while to do well

So I’ll end this poem early and say this year was pretty swell!

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Music and Lyrics

I heard some kids sing “Old McDonald”

Singing “With a moo moo here and a moo moo there,

“Here a moo, there a moo, everywhere a moo moo.”

Then I turned on the radio

And heard a 41-year-old sing

“Who rules the world? Girls.

“Who rules the world? Girls.

“Who rules the world? Girls.

“Who rules the world? Girls.”

Children deserve more respect.

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This Poem Is Probably Racist And Hates Short People

Last night I wrote a lot.

Tonight I wrote much not.

The kettle is black and so is the pot.

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My Bedtime Is At 8:00… Cut Me Some Slack

There once was a birthday party

That started at 6:30

It went a long time,

Which makes it hard to rhyme

Which is why “30” is now pronounced “tharty”.

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Sick Day Haiku

I am sick tonight

Full of aches and pains and snot…

But the bat tastes good!

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Christmas Music After They Take Jesus Out

You know Penis and Meatstick, Schlong, Dong, and ManPalace,

Manparts, “The Ramparts,” and Weiner and Phallus,

But do you recall

The most famous Mickey of all?

Mickey the big-dick Reindeer

Had a very shiny body part

And if you go deep enough on Google

You can probably find fan art. (Please don’t try this!)

All of the other reindeer

Used to laugh, except the does.

They just avoided contact

To not be labelled ho-ho-hoes.

Then one foggy Christmas Eve

Santa came to say…

“Mickey, the elves started an insurrection.

I have need of your balls and weighty erection.”

Then how the laughter halted

As they watched the rebels flee.

“We’re sorry for feeling threatened

By your girthy masculinity!”

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It asked me for my password;

I entered happyfreebird.

It said I needed a capital;

I wrote happyfreebirdL.

It said you need a number too;

I wrote happyfreebirdL2.

It said your password is weak and so is your bloodline, your identity will be stolen and you’ll deserve it you basic, filthy fleshbag;

I wrote gibberish because I’m just going to click “Forgot my password” anyway.

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