Why do people always think
That I’m a creepy guy
Just ’cause I eat other humans?
Oh why, oh why, oh why?
Why can’t they come to love me
As a human, not a specter?
Heck, they made a TV show
All about Hannibal Lecter!
Why can I not find true love?
Why are all hearts filled with doubt?
I thought that lots of people
Liked to be romantically eaten out!
I’m entirely worthy of your trust
From my toes to my chin’s cleft!
And don’t mind the BBQ sauce shower…
It’s just something the old owners left.