Tag Archives: Cannibalism

She Wants You Inside Her

The phrase “I want your baby”

Is sometimes super hot.

Mostly it depends if she’s

A cannibal or not.


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You’re Probably Just Racist

Why do people always think

That I’m a creepy guy

Just ’cause I eat other humans?

Oh why, oh why, oh why?

Why can’t they come to love me

As a human, not a specter?

Heck, they made a TV show

All about Hannibal Lecter!

Why can I not find true love?

Why are all hearts filled with doubt?

I thought that lots of people

Liked to be romantically eaten out!

I’m entirely worthy of your trust

From my toes to my chin’s cleft!

And don’t mind the BBQ sauce shower…

It’s just something the old owners left.

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Every House Has A Silver Icing

I live in a really disgusting house.

It’s sticky and melts in the rain

And when wild animals chew on my walls

Baking them again is a pain.

I can’t stand my gumdrop garden

And it draws human children like crack.

At least the kids, while noisy and rude,

Can make for a pretty good snack.

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We All Know One Of These (Sort Of)

Broccoli, celery, artichokes, grapes,

Candy corn, hamburgers, cheeses and crepes.

Around eating these foods I do carefully traipse,

Because I am a picky eater.


Sour cream, margarine, butter, and gee.

These dairy products don’t taste good to me,

And when I see them I feel need to flee

Because I am a picky eater.


I only eat pizzas if cut in a square.

I never eat sausage or hosenfeffer.

My nutritionist’s angry, but I really don’t care

Because I am a picky eater.


However, there’s something I do like to eat.

You might find it creepy, but I think it’s a treat

To munch on my friends, their hands and their feet,

‘Cause I like to eat picky eaters.

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