The phrase “I want your baby”
Is sometimes super hot.
Mostly it depends if she’s
A cannibal or not.
Tag Archives: Cannibalism
You’re Probably Just Racist
Why do people always think
That I’m a creepy guy
Just ’cause I eat other humans?
Oh why, oh why, oh why?
Why can’t they come to love me
As a human, not a specter?
Heck, they made a TV show
All about Hannibal Lecter!
Why can I not find true love?
Why are all hearts filled with doubt?
I thought that lots of people
Liked to be romantically eaten out!
I’m entirely worthy of your trust
From my toes to my chin’s cleft!
And don’t mind the BBQ sauce shower…
It’s just something the old owners left.
Filed under Poems
Every House Has A Silver Icing
I live in a really disgusting house.
It’s sticky and melts in the rain
And when wild animals chew on my walls
Baking them again is a pain.
I can’t stand my gumdrop garden
And it draws human children like crack.
At least the kids, while noisy and rude,
Can make for a pretty good snack.
Filed under Poems
We All Know One Of These (Sort Of)
Broccoli, celery, artichokes, grapes,
Candy corn, hamburgers, cheeses and crepes.
Around eating these foods I do carefully traipse,
Because I am a picky eater.
Sour cream, margarine, butter, and gee.
These dairy products don’t taste good to me,
And when I see them I feel need to flee
Because I am a picky eater.
I only eat pizzas if cut in a square.
I never eat sausage or hosenfeffer.
My nutritionist’s angry, but I really don’t care
Because I am a picky eater.
However, there’s something I do like to eat.
You might find it creepy, but I think it’s a treat
To munch on my friends, their hands and their feet,
‘Cause I like to eat picky eaters.
Filed under Poems
The Daily Travesty 