GI Average Joe: Halfass Commando

My squad was pinned down

By ten-thousand Iraqis.

We stood not a chance

Against all Allah’s lackeys.

Somehow we survived

And came home from the war,

I with one right leg less

And one purple heart more.

When the big day arrived

To get my medal from Trump

The pres stuck it on,

Said “congrats on the stump!”

Now I live a life

Where I needn’t pack heat,

Where I save cash on tickets

When I buy half a seat.

People notice my injury

Although I don’t tout it.

I keep on with my life

And there’s no butts about it!

In a few years I’ll die

And they’ll speak at my wake.

“He was not and had not

“An asshole,” they’ll spake.

And then I’ll be in heaven

Or maybe in Hell.

Either way, no VA

So I think I’ll be well.

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