Today we celebrate the gals
Who held us in their wombs
Instead of sending unborn us
To our not-born-yet dooms,
Who raised us as to be decent folk
(Regardless if it worked)
So clean and pure in making sure
Our chores were never shirked,
Who bought us socks for Christmas
And for the many that still do,
Who cleaned diapers and never
Did eschew beaucoup pee-yoo.
Thank you mothers everywhere
And hear us when we say
We’re grateful that at least one night
You probably weren’t gay.
The Daily Travesty 