Tag Archives: poems

A Fairy Tale Romance

I hold your hand and count to ten

On fingers, yours and mine.

I see the ring I’ll give to you

And how the gold will shine.

I see the satin dress you’ll wear,

Your lacy veil of white

And how our lives will be complete

After our wedding night.

I smell our families’ tears of joy

And hear the words we’ll say

To merge two hearts eternally

On one momentous day.

I feel the fire in my heart,

How yours must burn the same,

I ask you now to you marry me!

Oh, also, what’s your name?


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If California Secedes…

I wish there were a country

That was named “Yomom’sawhore”

‘Cause that way children wouldn’t have to

Study geography anymore.

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Because Disney Ruins Everything

If I owned a magic candy cane

That could call thunder and rain

I’d try to die ASAP

So they wouldn’t think my life would be a good movie.

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A Diatribe On The State Of Political Upheaval In Western Civilization

The incidences of protests

Inversely correlate

With the cost of protest signs

And whether people have a date.

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Head In The Clouds

I looked up at the clouds

To the the faces in the sky.

I saw one, with a large nose

And big blue eyes

And goofy white hair.

And I wondered

“Is he going to open his parachute soon?”

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Watch As This Somehow Violates The Wordpress Terms Of Service…

If you see an ad

Anywhere around this page

Do not click on it.

Advertisers don’t

Pay me to be on my site.

That gives me no joy.

But if I offend

All the advertising firms

They might go away.

Thus all these haiku

Warning you not to click on

Those cheap f#%^ers’ ads.

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White Privilege 2.0

Despite meeting a cannibal

I feel pretty good.

I was scared until he said

That he liked Chinese food.

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