Tag Archives: poems

#LookBothWays

I saw the golden headlights

Driving towards me in the rain.

I heard the tires squealing

And the brake lines shout of pain.

I smelled the burning rubber

And sensed the car careening

As I changed my Facebook status

So my life could have some meaning.

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Toes

There aren’t very many

Who do not have any.

There’s a few who have fewer than ten.

But if you meet the ten-plussers

Who seem proud and aren’t fussers

They are almost certainly men.

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Perhaps It’s Good Not To Remember Your Dreams

“Cyber chickens do not deserve Yolanda”

Was the first thought to pop into my head

When I sat down to write today’s poem

After exiting my way-too-comfy bed.

I don’t know the meaning of that musing

And likely it has no meaning at all

But if you are Yolanda do not settle

For a cyber chicken who isn’t on the ball.

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So Basically Tide Pods, Right?

If you’ve always dreamed of fame

But the dream never came to fruition

I have a helpful tidbit

From yours truly’s intuition:

Drink a bunch of chemicals

Then pretend you have the flu

And with any luck some doctor

Will name a condition after you!

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BTW I’m Not Jewish

She lay beside me

Still in her white dress.

My mouth was alight in her taste.

Her skin was like russet.

Her body was slender

From tip-to-tip, straight in the waist.

She was my fantasy,

Food on my table,

Sustaining me all through the day.

So although it is weird

To put a dress on bacon

I do it ’cause she is my bae.

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Why Men Pray

When a woman tells you yes

She means it could be so

Unless she’s getting dressed…

Then it definitely means no.

And if a woman tells you no

It is a no, no questions asked

Except when she wants you to be bad

Or do what you have not been tasked.

But the scariest thing you’ll ever

Hear a woman say

Is when she smiles and seems alright

And tells you “I’m OK.”

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Out Of Space Or Just Spacing Out?

What would happen if

You don’t pay attention to

“No Vacancy” signs?

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