Tag Archives: poems

In Related News: Sally’s Seashell Sell Did Not Go Well

If a player kicks a keeper

And the team won’t throw him out

Then you keep the keeper-kicker

And the kicked-keeper loses clout

But when the keeper-kicker seeks

To eat the kippers that he picked

He finds the kicked-keeper’s keepers

Had the aforementioned kippers nicked.

So the keeper who was kicked

And the keeper-kicker keep

Debating whether the kipper-nicker

Could be safely called a creep.

Meanwhile, the kipper-nicker

Reveals the kippers from his knickers,

Looks upon the bickering keeper

And his kicker and he snickers.

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Jews In Mississippi

He showed us how to circumcise a redneck

In a way that none of us had done foresaw:

He found aforementioned redneck in his bedroom

Then kicked the redneck’s cousin in the jaw!

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Unsung Legends

Hercules is strong

But what about Hiscules?

Bunch of sexist greeks…

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She Likes Funny Men

She asked “You know what makes me smile?”

I said “Muscles in your face.”

She hasn’t smiled for a while

And says she Needs some space…”

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A Vegetarian In Texas

I asked the waitress for tofu.

I thought that she was cute

Until she brought me a dildo

And said “Here’s your meat substitute.”

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Sharing Is Caring

If your roommates are loud

And you want them to hush

Just say “Hey roomie,

“Where’d you put our toothbrush?”

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We are the .0000000000000000000000000000000000000…1 percent

“My feelings matter”

Screamed the important human

And a few quadrillion cubic lightyears

Of hyper-intelligent space blobs

Smiled and reminisced

On when they thought the same thing.

Two or three universes away

The process repeated.

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