Cheerleaders always turned me on
Since I was a boy of 10,
So when Biden got elected
I was delighted that CNN
And every major outlet
Of mainstream American news
Became unabashed cheerleaders
Shouting “Give us I, give us O, give us U’s!”
Tag Archives: Travesty
If The Analogy Works Dat Thang…
Remember Mandy the stripper?
The one who showed you her rear
Before she leaned in close to you
And whispered in your ear,
“You’re the one I’m dancing for,”
So you slip her 20 bucks?
That’s basically how the government works
And why I say it sucks.
Filed under Poems
How The Second American Civil War Began?
There once was a Cheeto named Don
Whose power was soon to be gone.
At first he was miffed
But then Joe scratched and sniffed
So Don sighed and just said, “Carry on.”
Filed under Poems
I Dream of England
Jerry was snoring
In bed in New Hamphire.
“Zzz” was the sound from his head.
Gerald was snoring
In the Hampshire of olde,
And onlookers heard “Zedzedzed.”
Filed under Poems
Grief + Caffeine =
Woe is me, woe is me
For my true love is dead.
She woke up one morning
With one fewer head.
It cannot be real!
It must be a fake!
I’m angry as hell
Thanks to someone’s mistake!
Oh, what would I give
To return her to life?
Oh what’s the use anyway?
Let’s get on with life.
Filed under Poems
Amber Alert
What child is this
You laid to rest
That in my lap
Is sleeping,
Whose face glows white
Like the face of God,
And why won’t my cell phone
Quit beeping?
Filed under Poems
Why Your Meat Choice Matters
For every chicken they kill
To sell at the store
When apocalypse comes
That’s one skeleton more.
For every boneless chicken
You bring home to roast
When apocalypse comes
That’s just one more ghost.
Filed under Poems
The REAL Cause of Global Warming (and How to Fix It)
Before the internet was made
Antarctica was nice:
Just peaceful people chilling
On an endless sheet of ice.
But after wifi came along
Antarctica, once fine,
Fell immediately into
Inescapable decline
Because one lonely penguin
(Or perhaps a polar bear)
Signed on to ye olde internet
Just to see what’s there.
That was when the searcher
Received the first and fatal clue:
“Are you feeling lonely?
“Check out hot singles near you.”
Now I am not a penguin
(Nor am I a polar bear)
But whatever sorry animal saw
The advertisement there
Went looking for hot singles
Due to loneliness they felt,
Not thinking that the hotness
Just might cause the ice to melt.
Now we find Antarctica
Is little more than ocean
Because of one’s animal needs
(At least that is my notion).
So if we want the glaciers back
And want to stop tides rising
My must delete the internet
(At least that’s my surmising).
Filed under Poems
YA Romance Writers, Take Note
While I was making sweet, sweet love
To my canoe, I thought:
“Just because your love’s forbidden
“Doesn’t mean it’s hot.”
Filed under Poems
